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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I overreacting or was this woman just very rude?

35 replies

Clubtropicanadrinksarenotfree · 24/07/2022 20:11

It's agency work so thank goodness I don't need to see her again.
We're supporting a lady who's quadriplegic, 2 of us working at her supported living home. I'm agency and she's one of the permanent staff.

I've only done one night shift here before but never a day one, the other night shift staff member had been lovely and welcoming.

Anyway he had told me that some of his colleagues 'hate' agency staff, which didn't exactly fill me with confidence.

I arrived and l make some polite conversation with her, just 1 or 2 questions, then she instantly put in her headphones to make it clear she didn't want to talk. This is fine, I mean I don't expect to chat all day long but I thought she'd make the bare minimum of polite conversation.

She was mostly fine then and the actual work we had to do was very minimal, there was a lot of sitting around but still no conversation, maybe one comment from her and that's it. In 11 hours.

I then assisted her with moving and handling. I put some pillows in the wrong position for the client which I understand is annoying, but the colleague snapped, NO, I SAID under her feet. She then sighed and said 'jesus'.
I bit my tongue but I was very close to telling her not to speak to me like that.

Generally she would tell me if she'd need me to assist with the client or not as at one point I followed her to the lady's room and she said no you can stay here until I call you.

A while later she was with the client. She then came in and said angrily, "Are you coming?!" And pulled that exasperated face at me. I apologised as I genuinely hadn't heard her call me.

There's a sign at the front of the room which outline 'agency' jobs. Then it says 'permanent staff will give you clear instructions regarding what to do and when'.

About 15 minutes before the end of the shift she told me, "Next time, you need to make sure you clean the toilet and mop the bathroom at 7pm."

This information hadn't been passed onto me at all so I said I was sorry I hadn't been told that was my task. Then she went "That's why it's in big writing so you can read it."

I defended myself again but I figured she's just a nasty piece of work.
Also how she was talking about the client on the phone, the client's room is only next door. She was speaking like the client was 3 years old, not 35.

I didn't even say bye to her, just left and vowed I wouldn't be returning there.
I understand it's annoying to work with agency staff and we may get things wrong, but we are there to help. I didn't like her rude attitude.
Was I overreacting? What would you have done?

OP posts:
runlittlemonster · 24/07/2022 21:12

OP I’m sorry to hear you spoken to like this, she was completely out of order and it must have been upsetting. It’s no reflection on you at all, of course you aren’t expected to know everything on your first shift in that setting. This woman is not acting in the way a care practitioner should.

Reading your post was worrying. This rings alarm bells from the point of view of safeguarding for the client. Is this woman (the care worker) alone with the client at any point? If she is frustrated and short tempered to the point she’s openly rude to colleagues, I’d be very worried about how she interacts with the client when not observed. The comments she made about the client on the phone, the use of her headphones etc, as well as the way she snapped at you in front of her, show a blatant disregard for the dignity and comfort of the lady she is supposed to be supporting in her own home. This lady cannot get herself out if the situation or easily make her preferences known, so it’s up to others raise the alarm about concerns on her behalf - and there are a few concerns here. Please, please report everything you’ve posted here to the manager of the care provider!

N00tN00t · 24/07/2022 21:15

That sounds horrible and I wouldn't take a job there again.
I used to love having agency staff come in, it changed the conversations and was nice. The only time I struggled was when we had a new agency woman come in on a day a resident had died. She didn't speak any English at all except the odd word.
We had to get the resident ready for the undertakers and it was really difficult explaining to her what we needed to do. I told her not to roll the lady towards her and did a kind of movement with arms to show what I meant. She thought I was saying to roll her. It was very messy and unpleasant. I felt awful for the agency woman.
It wasn't her fault, she seemed very awkward and like she had been thrown in at the deep end.
I did make a complaint, but not against her, against the agency for not making sure she would be able to work safely.

N00tN00t · 24/07/2022 21:16

Sorry, bit of a long post for no reason there!

BronwenFrideswide · 24/07/2022 21:18

However she is probably like that to other agency staff so I need to speak up for their sake.

Yes, @Clubtropicanadrinksarenotfree sadly you do no-one should have to endure that during their working day, it's completely out of order.

PattyMelt · 24/07/2022 21:23

Make sure your agency lets the facility know that staff are hostile to agency staff and have told you that agency are not liked. The facility will soon nip it in the bud when the staff with shitty attitudes are have to work shorthanded.
We are bloody grateful for the agency staff we get, most work really hard and like our facility and request to return. There have only been two in the last three years we have asked the agency not to send to us again.

SirChenjins · 24/07/2022 21:24

Absolutely inappropriate and disrespectful behaviour from her, both to you and the client. I would have called her out there and then and then I would have reported her. People like her do not belong in that sector.

Clubtropicanadrinksarenotfree · 24/07/2022 21:31

Thanks I feel more confident about reporting it now.
I understand there are a small number of agency staff who will just turn up and listen to music/sleep on the shift, but most are not like this.

OP posts:
Carlycat · 24/07/2022 21:31

I'd report her. She's not fit to look after a vulnerable person.

Carlycat · 24/07/2022 21:37

And you were treated appallingly. I'm a health care professional myself and have always treated agency staff with the utmost respect ( as have my colleagues )

LuckyLil · 24/07/2022 21:39

My mum was a carer for social services almost 30 years and there was always a thing about full timers not liking working with agency staff, like an ingrained belief the work wasn't done to the same standard and they didn't have enough time. It was almost a rivalry thing. This was over a decade ago.

When my mum became terminally ill and needed agency staff she mellowed a bit but it took time to find one she liked, I actually refused to allow access to another one from the agency because she was too rough and hurt my mum. The carer we stuck with was Portuguese and was so kind and caring. My mum used to lend her books to read on the bus on her way home as she loved to read.

She sat with me and cried the day we decided mum needed to go into hospice at the end because she knew she wouldn't see her again. She said to me some of my clients are so horrible to me, they shout at me but your mum is so kind to me.

I think like everything even with full timers you'll find some that are just not very nice to work with but having needed to rely on agency myself it's not all bad. Unfortunately there does seem to be a culture where some full time staff don't consider agency staff as equals but don't let one person spoil it for you.

Agency do an amazing job under very difficult circumstances and I couldn't have coped with a terminally ill loved one without them. All we had was agency at the time and it was a little hit and miss at first, but we did find the right carer.

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