Hi everyone,
Firstly, I have name changed although I do post here often. Regarding posts about myself, I post under a name that is very easily trackable to who I actually am as I don't care about anonymity, although as this isn't about myself, I have name changed.
I am looking for some advice regarding a male I know and am close with who is being accused of domestic abuse and violence by his partner of two decades. Not only is he being accused, but I also believe that he has actually been the victim. There are texts and evidence that prove she is lying, either things she has sent to him admitting he's never laid a finger on her, as well as messages to myself that show her as being controlling etc. For example so as not to drip feed, she would fly into a rage if he would go to his friends who lives around the corner and text me ranting about it, she has punched him around the head because he was texting - there are more examples but this is the general consensus - a lot of controlling behaviour. She was not coercive, she was very obvious about this.
However, due to work issues whereby she was caught stealing drugs, she has now created a narrative that she has done so because of her 'abusive' partner in a bid to keep her job. This has been ongoing for over a year and this is the first anybody has heard of the reasoning she has given - meanwhile her partner has been taking her to and from work, on holidays, meals out etc etc thinking that whilst his relationship was rough, they were plodding along and trying to pull through this hard time she was having at work. It turns out she has been reading books regarding DV and DA on her lunch in work so people could see, whilst in the meantime he's completely oblivious to all of this. It has been flagged in work reports that none of these accusations are previously documented in any way, shape or form which is why I think she's doing thing to make them seem like they have more foundation.
There are children involved although they are older - they know of the accusations and are very upset that their mum is saying this about their dad as they haven't ever seen any evidence of this.
I will add, he doesn't claim to be a saint just as none of us are, but this narrative is so far removed from reality that we are all baffled by it. He is destroyed and feels so isolated and upset as he feels he has nowhere to turn to; we've advised the police as a starting point as she has also contacted them, but he is worried that by him contacting them, she could possibly say something along the lines of how he's doing so because he's controlling - I hope that makes sense? I think he's worried about it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. He is not in the house and hasn't been for some time.
Where can he turn - does anybody know any men who have been in the same position? Are there any male orientated charities that he can seek advice from?
TIA x