Baby’s 1st birthday party bring contribute to food

[JuniorTiger]

Is this normal? Both parents are in their 30’s, have plenty of time and are financially stable, having a smallish birthday (about 15 people) party for child’s first birthday. They have asked guests to contribute by bringing food for the party. I.e someone does sandwiches, someone brings cakes etc.
I find this bizarre, the mum is at home looking after the baby and has a close support network so probably could put a few sandwiches together. Also, the baby’s birthday party is on a weekday at tea time, most guests work and then are expected to prepare food.
is it a cultural thing? I wouldn’t dream of doing this, it sounds really cheeky IMO

I know it as a ‘potluck’, it was very common when I grew up in America at lots of events. You’d be assigned a different dish dependant on the letter of your surname.

Are you family or friend?

Just wondering if someone has got a bit carried away and is asking all guests to bring food rather than just family - especially as it isn't the hosts who have asked you.

So buy the sandwiches if you don't have time / don't want to make them. I don't have time to make a buffet so I get it from M&S / Morrisons. Easy peasy.

It's really bad manners to invite people to a party and then ask them to bring food - even worse they are dictating what they've to bring! If someone asked me to come to their child's party.. oh but I have to bring a platter of sandwiches with me.. I'd decline the invitation!

I don’t really get the big deal. Imo people usually feel like they should bring something anyway and end up bringing something random so it might as well be useful.

If this offends you then don’t go.

I wouldn't go to a baby's birthday party anyway but expecting guests to bring food is taking the piss.

Having a gathering where up front you ask everyone to contribute is great , takes pressure off people who might not eh able to afford to host a big event ever - it's more inclusive - and if people have odd dietary needs they can ensure they get something to eat

Really common in sone circles - I find the MN "host must pay" as opposed to "host must manage and coordinate " really strange

Are you one of the couple? If not, how do you what state their finances are in?

I have only been to one party where this was expected; that happened to be a 1st Birthday too.
I was a bit put off to start, especially as the couple could easily have paid caterers if they wanted less stress.
As it happened the food was great.
Everyone brought their ‘signature’ dishes, and it was some of the best food I have had.
I could have done without some of the egos, with people boasting about their food, but overall a good event.
I hope you enjoy yours if you decide to go.
What food have you been allocated to take?

expected as well

How do you know this? Have they explicitly said so?

I think this is fine, though not hugely common for a child's birthday. We've held cheese and wine nights when we've asked guests to bring a cheese, wine or accompaniment of their choice. Was really popular!

I thought this thread was going to ask guests for a monetary contribution to food... now that would be tacky!

I love this idea!

Because not everyone can afford to just cater for everyone and still want to celebrate things in their lives. Most normal people would help out a relative so they could still celebrate with them.
Anyone who wouldn’t pitch in for a close friend or relative because they are “mortified” is a snob.

Odd.

My church do 'bring a plate' family style celebrations for every birthday! I guess it's a church thing. Never thought of it as odd before.

I don't mind being asked to bring a dish - and I think specifying what is great, or you end up with everyone bringing the same thing.

However, food and a gift is just cheeky. It's one or the other.

It should be bring a dish instead of a gift. Both is cheeky.

Very common in my part of the country. Potluck or Jacob's Join. I like them and they're not a big deal, even for a kitchen dunce like me.

BUT. To invite people to a party without telling them, to get others to provide a house, food and drink AND still expect people to give presents... well, they're 100% cheeky fuckers. What exactly are they providing for the party.

CF. They should provide the food and them telling each person ecdbtly what to bring is even worse! They do know 1st birthday parties are a bit lame and asking your guests to bring their own food won’t change this!

I think as it’s a birthday party so a gift is expected, then it’s very cheeky to ask.

If it’s a BBQ or New Years party where no gift is expected, then fair enough everyone bring something to eat or drink. .

My church do 'bring a plate' family style celebrations for every birthday! I guess it's a church thing. Never thought of it as odd before.

@grumpynamechange it sounds like it must be a church thing then.
As everyone does it for each other then it doesn’t sound so cheeky.

Are you also expected to bring a gift too?

Definitely a church thing, I know of a few churches that do pot lucks. I’ve never really heard of anyone doing it outside of church circles though and definitely not for a 1 year olds party.

Easy,
Box of Farley's Rusks for baby
Box of wine for me.

I know of someone who had a bring and share (like pot luck) for after their child's baptism so the whole congregation plus invited guests provided the party!!

Expecting people to take food to a 1 birthday party is a total piss take. If you don’t have time to organise food just do it at a non-foody time

I could live with it stating on the invite ‘if you’d like to contribute a plate of food that would be great’…that way you can go as easy and cheap or as expensive and extravagant as you want. But being assigned a specific dish is not on, IMO.