My BF ‘forgot’ to see me

[letskeepitlight]

I've been with my BF for 4.5 years.
We mostly get on great and he's a lovely person.
He's busy with his kids for as he has them first week of summer hols. He spends a lot of time transporting them to and from where I live for various activities.
We arranged for him to call in for coffee after he dropped off his son near me.
He forgot and drove straight home.
He is sorry, he didn't mean it, and I know he didn't. He was absent-minded.
I'm making a bit of a deal of this because I'm quite hurt that my BF actually forgot to see me.
He's apologised, sent me flowers and a card and messaged me saying he's sorry.
But my BF 'forgot' to see me.
Am I reading too much into this?

I don't think yabu. Imagine if you plan to meet a friend in a bar for drinks after work - it would be very odd for them to just go straight home. Auto-pilot means things like him forgetting to drop of a parcel and the post office, not forgetting to see his literal girlfriend.

*at the post

Yes, you’re reading too much into it.
I forget stuff all the time when I’m on auto pilot with a million things going on. The fact that he’s apologised and tried to make up for it shows he cares. We all make mistakes.

You’re overreacting by being an arsehole about this. We all forget things sometimes.

If he forgot that you'd arranged to go out for a celebration meal. or that you were cooking supper - might be reasonable.
But a cup of coffee FFS?

Poor sod! I’ve forgotten so many things this week - the change of routine with the children off is hard work. I drove completely the wrong way to work on Friday because I automatically went via school.
Chill out OP.

I forgot to pick up my 10 year old from school once. It happened because DH usually got him on a Thursday and so I drove home leaving him at school. About 40 mins later got a call asking who was collecting him. I was mortified. I drove home on autopilot and started making dinner. You got a nice apology so let it go.

Jeez do you have kids? People leave their KIDS at places - my friend took her toddler to pick up her older boys at school and left her daughter behind. I know people who have left their babies in the shopping trolley! People forget things. It happens. Give him a break.

You sound about 14 and I’m hoping you’re not if your boyfriend is a man with children (so he’s obviously considerably older than 14).

People forget things. It happens. Life will throw some much more challenging and upsetting situations at you than this. Better start growing a thicker skin.

As opposed to his figurative girlfriend?

He didn’t arrange to meet her in a bar after work. He was supposed to be calling in on his way home and forgot. He’s apologised, sent flowers and STILL the OP can’t move on.

My late OH was far worse than that! We arranged that he would pick me up from outside a shop with no parking, I stood on the kerb and he drove straight by, he then turned round and I crossed the road, he drove by me again! The FOURTH time he stopped, because I leapt in front of the car when I saw it coming, much to the amazement/horror of others around!

You've said you know he didn't mean it. He's apologised profusely. You're hurt, ok. But what more do you want at this stage?

You know it wasn't intentional, but yet you're holding it over him for what reason? This is bordering emotionally manipulative territory, especially as he felt he had to make it up to you. People make mistakes sometimes. It's time to let it go imo.

He's apologised, sent me flowers and a card and messaged me saying he's sorry.

What more do you want? He's gone way overboard with this tbh

But he wasn't arranging to meet her out somewhere for a date.

He was supposed to pop buy for coffee and accidentally went on auto-pilot instead. I think everyone has done that at some point!

Yep, get this all the time in my 7 year "relationship" minus the flowers and card and I get the blame for it too. But we don't have kids and I have the feeling he honestly couldn't care about whether he sees me or not anymore because he treats me like crap anyway. But in your case I think he felt genuinely bad

People do far worse than this when they are on autopilot. I read only yesterday about a father forgetting his toddler was in the car and he was supposed to take him to nursery. That had the most horrific ending. You need to move on - your bf obviously feels bad.

How much of a hissy fit did you throw if he did all that to apologise for something so minor.... And you still won't let it go? Respectfully, you need to wise up

Ah I’ve done this, I didn’t forget, just couldn’t be arsed!

Have you never forgotten anything important before and had an 'oh, shit' moment?

Everyone has.

YABU.

Get a grip! I’m feeling sorry for him.

I had about 6 months of autopilot driving to our family home of 27 years to see my mum/pick her up after she moved. I’ve even done it in the past year and she hasn’t lived there for 8 years!

Give him a break, it was just autopilot and with the beginning of holidays like a pp said, his brain was just fried. Really don’t think he needed to send flowers and a card. Dh and I would have just called eachother a plonker and we’d have laughed about it.

Yes, you are massively reading too much into it. He made a very easily done mistake, and apologised. That's all there is to it.

I'm worried about the lengths he's gone to with the apologies - have you form for reacting like this to things?