To stop being a soft touch….

[AmICrazy1]

I often have got told in previous posts under my old usernames that I’m a “soft touch” etc. can you tell me if You think I actually am and if so how to stop? here are some examples:

NEIGHBOUR RELATED:

1. the fence was really low (3ft), I’d constantly get next doors kids poking head over it throwing things and parents (both extremely well educated) just sat there saying nothing. Boy (10 at the time) would kick against my fence and daily at least 6-12 balls would come over. Each time he would scream “CAN YOU GIVE ME BALL BACK NOW!!!!”, parents would just sit around, I would have to keep getting up and giving it to him, even when I was heavily pregnant this continued so I stopped using the garden. He would then knock on the door as I wasn’t there!

the kids would constantly be in the garden making noises all day long. The mother home-schooled them. I say mother as she told me herself her DH would prefer they go to school but for religious reasons she didn’t want them

the kids were absolutely feral and even 8 years on still are!

I replaced my fence 2x due to that boy. One day I just exploded at the mum and they then moved the goal post to their side. I don’t care about the thudding sound now as it’s their fence that gets damaged.

FAMILY RELATED:

1. MIL - gave me no space when eldest born. Used her key multiple times a day to enter my home and just take baby. Even recently she’s in a strop as I wouldn’t let her take my now 7 year old to an evening wedding party that starts at 7:30pm on her own! She didn’t get invited only MIL but she wants to take my DD. My husband thinks I’m unreasonable. I would back down very quickly in past but now I don’t. I am second guessing myself but I know deep down she’s wrong that she just expects to take her then strops when I say otherwise. I’m made to always feel she’s her mother not me.

Take the key off your MIL, and no, your child isn’t invited so they are not going. Plus, it will be too late for her.

And if the kids balls come over you do not throw them back until you are ready. If they knock on your door tell them never to knock again.

Oh and when I questioned MIL (whose Indian btw) about the late start of the wedding party her response was “other kids seem okay” implying that I think my DD is special. These weddings are crazy I’ve been to lots and the men in particular get really drunk, I don’t feel it’s a place for a young child without her parents being there. I know MIL will be busy dancing and talking to everyone so she’s not going to keep a close eye on DD.

Good on you for standing your ground, OP.

I feel like I want to come fight your corner OP!

Mother in law always wants to take my DD everywhere! She posts pictures of her on Facebook all the time. I don’t use Facebook or any social media so have seen. I told her not to post DD school picture as it has other kids a d she went into a major strop. She doesn’t say anything but her face goes this sad upset and she stops talking and gives me silent treatment for days.

Pretend you can’t find the ball. Kick it under a bush or say it went way over your garden and you didn’t see where it went.

Thank you all.