To be upset over this?

[MovieQueen12]

Was at a BBQ today and my neighbours 7 year old kept looking at me curiously. As I left to get a drink, I overheard her say to her mum "Why does (my name) have such a long nose?" and she replied with 'It's just how God made her.'
It made me feel really embarrassed and ashamed. I know she's just a kid but I feel like a freakshow. 😞

As long as you have a talk with her about not commenting rudely (or even at all) on others then you should be fine. Bring it up again with her. It's a lesson. My niece is mixed race and has recently discovered that that means she has parents of different races so will point out other people she sees who look like her and say "BLACK MUM! WHITE DAD!" We are all having talks with her to deal with it!

Ah sorry just noticed it was the neighbours kid! In that case then her mum did respond correctly and try not to take things little kids say to heart. They'll say the wildest shit just trying to explain the world around them.

Kids can be really savage. They just speak their minds! My own 3 year old told me earlier I was handsome, like a boy. Not pretty don’t listen to daddy! His dads face was 😮. Sometimes if you don’t laugh you’ll cry. 🌺

Kids can also be completely wrong.

My 7yo often comments on how pretty her teacher is (she isn't particularly) yet comments negatively (only to me) about certain features my best friend has, including her nose, and she's actually had a very successful career in modelling.

One day she was also asking me more about boris and trump back when they were both on the news one night. I can't stand either so was sharing my views and she said "well they might no be nice to everyone but they're both really handsome" 😂

I disagree. My ds is 6yo and he already knows not to even question things like that. He is very well aware that people are all different. A 7yo saying this isn't just innocent, it's rude and lack of manners.

I agree that at seven they know not to point out physical features, unless they aren't NT. My just turned five GC, who has slight developmental delay has just stopped asking why some of the men are sporting massive beer bellies. She was confused thinking they 'had a baby in their tummy'. She has hearing issues so any answers have to be practically shouted if their is a lot of background noise, that stage was horrendous. We would then have talks when we got home. The Mother's answer was stupid.

Don't worry about it.
I was at work the other day (preschool) and a child was looking for me. I said don't worry I've not dissapeared, they replied no, you can't of dissapeared you're too fat. 😂

It actually sounds like you think it’s funny.

You need to be firmer with your dd, she sounds offensive. It’s not cute at all, which is how framed it.

You don’t seem that arsed that your daughter(who by the way is absolutely old enough to know better) was very rude and hurtful - and apparently by her “smirk” did it knowingly and deliberately.

Might want to think about nipping such spiteful ness/meanness in the bud really rather than tolerating it - that’s just me though 🤷‍♀️

"It's very rude to comment on how people look. Don't do it."

Easy.

Children do say awkward things, and I suppose the mother gave the best/only reply she could. What else could she have said?

One of my GDs asked me why my face is always red (I have Rosacea). I simply said it's because I'm always quite warm (not really true)

This.

Parenting involves correcting things like this, not blithely accepting it with "oh kids can be brutal".

Teach them to fucking not be!

Oh whatever Mally. All kids are different. What a pointless thing to say.

Wow it amazes me how perfect everyone is on mumsnet. I don't think this poster thinks it's funny at all. She may be working out strategies - you don't know the situation.

Don't worry about it OP, I'm sure you've got a perfectly normal nose. Kids have no filter sometimes.

When my DD was about 4 we had family round for dinner and she just blurted out of the blue, "My mum's got a hairy minge!!" I was so embarrassed, but everybody else was in stitches.

Kids see the world through a different lens to us.

She didn't comment to you but to her mum so she's learning about appropriate commenting but at 7 will still find she needs to ask the question.

I have a missing tooth. I had an infection in my jaw and it was a horrid time. I hate it and never smile in photos etc.

An autistic lad I know once came up and said "even though you have a missing tooth you're still beautiful" 🤣

Don't let it get to you OP. Kids say all sorts of things. The bottom line is we don't know the situation with this child and or their parents. There could be a million things going on that the OP and we don't know about. This child could even be on the spectrum and undiagnosed. Having worked with children I have known many kids of all ages that say things without meaning it offensively. For goodness sake we make TV shows out of it.

OP forget about it. Love the skin you're in!

My kids think I'm ancient or something, I'm only 34 ! Also, my 11yo has just started getting mildly embarrassed by me.

Coolmaker - Dread to think who your Dd will bring home when she’s old enough for boyfriends if she thinks Trump and Boris are handsome 😁

Great reply!!!

i once had a boy at a play park ask me why my tummy was 'so big' (it really wasn't at the time, it is now) he was about 7 and definitely 'knew better' so very straight faced I told him it was because children take a lot longer to digest than regular food. And mentioned it was coming up to lunch munch time...

a little girl (4/5) kept staring at me and whispering to her parents who were becoming very uncomfortable (by this time my tummy had become rather large, so I assumed it was that). I said to them, it's fine she can say what's she's thinking it just ask whatever, (you could hear the relief). Her Dad told her she could just ask me... and she said.... your hair is so beautiful and so so long, how long did it take you to grow it that long?

It taught me not to assume everyone is always noticing the negative stuff we assume they are!!

@MovieQueen12 try not to dwell on it. Kids think things that aren't always 'true/accurate'. If your nose is the thing you least like about yourself, you're doing ok anyway!!!

The elderly with dementia are just as bad! I have been told some helpful home truths in the last few years - some flattering some less so to the mortification of the relatives!

Has no one mentioned it before? If it really was long you'd have probably noticed by now!

Would you have felt better if the parent had explained to the child that saying things like that could be hurtful? I feel like I would have quietly explained that we don’t talk like that, particularly in the presence of the person you’re being rude about! As opposed to just taking the description of your nose as a fait accompli.

My nose is really long so it's got to me more as I know it isn't just her being a kid. Just wish I could look normal like everyone else.

@MovieQueen12 I totally get where you are coming from. I used to feel like that about part of my body as children used to point it out and make comments. Sometimes I wonder whether I would have had plastic surgery if I had the money but that’s a pretty drastic solution (and may not even be a solution).

I’m really sorry the comment has got to you. Many of us have a part of our body we don’t really like and feel sensitive about, I’m sure, so you are definitely not alone.

for you. Try to let it go. The comment won’t hurt so much next month or even next year. It’s still raw now.