Grown up child

[Supernanny84]

My Son 24 lives at home with his gf (she's been here 11 months with her dog) Both live rent free as they have been saving for a house, they move in next week .
He's just had a major meltdown as he wanted to watch sport on the large TV in living room, he has one in his bedroom but only the main TV has the channel he wanted.
He wanted myself and his Dad to sit upstsirs on a Sat eve watching a 17 in tv in our bedroom. He's gone storming off, is it me??

.

I feel sorry for a lot of sons here.

Exactly.
They spend 90%of the time in his room.
We don't go out, sat nights are always take out nights. His dad gave him the ipad with the channel on but that wasn't enough.
Maybe we are unfair according to some, but they live rent free, have had numerous breaks whilst we have the dog and we have supported them all for 10 months.
They have a brand new house.
It's a smack in the mouth that he's so ungrateful.

If they spend all that time in his room and you always get to watch Netflix with takeaway on Saturdays, it’s not like he’s making a habit of it then. He shouldn’t have stormed out. You didn’t mention he was offered the iPad to watch it on though. I don’t think a one off makes him ungrateful. Big drama out of nothing.

If he'd asked you a couple of days ago and maybe suggested he pay for you to go out for dinner the yes totally....
If he rocked up 10 mins before insisting you switch over. Not in a million years.
YANBU & he is being a brat.

What matters here is not what he asked but his reaction. I probably would have let him - I am a soft touch though. But that isn't the point. He reacted by having a major meltdown and storming off. He is one entitled boy and needs to have someone (you or your dh) sit him down and tell him he should be bloody grateful for what you've done for him and his girlfriend and he needs to control his temper.

I don’t think a one off makes him ungrateful.

He stropped out having a tantrum. A one off is plenty to be appalled by. It’s ungrateful but also pathetic, immature, entitled and embarrassing.

Big drama out of nothing.

Indeed. He should remember he’s 24 and he and his gf have been mooching board, lodging and dog care and it’s not his fucking tv. Maybe he needs to hear “no” more often.

Hmm, if it's a major sports thing surely they could have found a pub to watch in? Your house, your TV licence, your subscription, you are therefore Supreme Commander of the Remote Control.

He's gonna get such a shock when he starts to pay his own bills! They could have easily found a pub to watch it in.

Really? I despair at answers like this! He is moving into his own house soon. Currently, he lives with his parents who wanted to enjoy a takeaway and a movie in their own living room. He has a TV upstairs FFS!

Maybe for a one off request you could have accommodated? Would be different if he could watch it in his bedroom but was choosing not to - but as living room is only option I don't think he's being totally unreasonable ?

He's about to leave home and probably a bit emotional- tbh I would have let him have the big TV and maybe watched it with him. I am pretty easy going and flexible. You are all coming to the end of an era, don't let it end on a sour note.

He is a cheeky fucker.

You are not being completely unreasonable but personally I'd let him watch and watch either him. He us about to move to his own place so for the sake of a few weeks I'd let it go. He won't always be either you.

I think this is such a a problem these days- It's acceptable for boyfriends/girlfriends to move in- nothing wrong with that- but they live in a bubble where mum and dad run the house and pay for everything.
It's your house, your TV and your night!
They are so lucky - when I was their age waaaay back in the early 90's was not a thing to let GF & BF move in- I left home at 19 - worked full time and supported myself. DH would not be allowed to stay in my bed at my parents house- end of. In fact, we were married before that happened.
Ignore his little tantrum like you did when he was a 3 yo- he'll be in his own house and paying his own bills soon enough and I'm sure he'll grow up a bit then. Can pay for his own SKY bill see how he likes that.

Obviously storming off is unreasonable, but I don't think he was unreasonable to want to watch the major sports fixture in the living room given it was clearly a one off request (as you say he spends 90% of his time keeping out of your way), and for a big fixture.
Even you trying to add in that he could have seen it on the iPad doesn't really help - it is hardly the same.
I think you were selfish to not allow him to watch whatever match it was on the TV, considering it would be a live event, and you can watch a Netflix film anytime, and presumably in any room.
I am pleased that my adult child who lives at home (with her partner) feels able to say "Mum, on Saturday, can I watch X in the living room please? It's the final / International / whatever indication of its importance).

Because it is her home too my reply is "Of course" and I go off and MN watch a film or something in another room if I don't want to see the match.

He has a TV upstairs FFS! with no access to the Channel he needs to watch the fixture, so that doesn't really help him in this case, does it ?

get the champagne chilling for when he's gone next week
following week, take yourself round to his new house, tell him to bugger off so that you can watch his TV.
Something important, Midsommer murders, antiques roadshow or an episode of Morse😆

There must be a sports pub somewhere he can watch it. I guess not getting his own way will encourage him to save up and move out quicker.

She presumably thought she was doing them a massive favour and they’d respond with gratitude rather than entitlement and bratty sulking.

As I said, I don't agree with the sulking but I don't understand why he's entitled because he wants to watch the big TV once in a blue moon.

It’s not his house.

But it's still his home. Yes, his behaviour wasn't great but he spends most of his time in his room so I really don't think it would have been a big hardship to let him watch the main TV as a one-off.

Really? I despair at answers like this! He is moving into his own house soon. Currently, he lives with his parents who wanted to enjoy a takeaway and a movie in their own living room. He has a TV upstairs FFS!

His TV doesn't have access to the channel the sport was airing on, though.

And his parents take over the living room and have a takeaway there every single weekend according to OP - would it really be such a huge drama to either sit in the same room as their son for a while, or to go upstairs as a one-off?

Honestly, if OP is so resentful about this one event, why let him, his girlfriend and the dog stay rent-free in the first place?

I don't disagree that his behaviour is poor but I also think he was treated as ungrateful for even daring to ask in the first place.

If I’d known he wanted to watch it
in advance I would have accommodated the request. If I’d just settled to watch my film then maybe not.

If I was watching something it would be a no from me but I would offer to record his program. If he had a tantrum, well he wouldn’t because he knows that it would make no difference at all. DS is 21 and I don’t remember the last tantrum he had.

Your ds could have watched the sporting event at the pub ge did not need to ruin your plans.
I would be asking for an apology and reminding him you are under no obligation to provide free accommodation now he is an adult!

If he'd asked in advance he could have made other plans if you refused. It's as well he's leaving soon because he needs to start paying his own bills and get a taste of reality. I think you've been very kind to let them stay rent free, my DP's wouldn't have let a BF of mine move in full stop