Boyfriend doesn’t have an ambition

[Hellodotcom]

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 years and he’s perfect in every way except he has no ambition! I’m 27 & he’s 26.

I work full time earning above an average salary and he is working in a supermarket contracted to work 23 hours a week. He’s been in this role since he turned 20 and this is his only job!
He always does overtime whenever he can but it’s so unpredictable and he relies on overtime to help his half of the bills but I’m often helping him pay his half.

He also can’t drive as he can’t afford lessons which is another frustration of mine!

I know I sound like a total bitch here but needed to rant. AIBU being unreasonable to think my boyfriend doesn’t have any ambition and he needs to pull a finger out to try harder with his life?

Stop helping him out financially, if he can’t afford his bills that’s down to him you’re not his mother.

You're not unreasonable. It's fine if he loves his job but he at least needs to work full time and needs to understand you're going to carry on and develop a life without him in some ways. Don't let him hold you back.

YANBU. I’d find that really unattractive to be brutally honest. I imagine he looks great and is phenomenal in bed then?
You say he doesn’t drive - are you chauffeuring him around?

Why doesn’t he look for a full time job in another supermarket if he can only get 23 hours where he is?

Thanks all. Yes I do chauffeur him but only when it’s convenient for me!

@Runningupthathill01 it’s hard to find full time work in retail especially where he works

Seriously? Do you live very remote? Have you googled job openings? Because there is a pretty hefty problem in a big part of Europe to find workers.

it’s hard to find full time work in retail especially where he works

He’s worked in the same supermarket for 6 years, he could easily have picked up full time work there by now if he’d made it known to his manager that’s what he’s after. I find it hard to believe they’ve had no full time vacancies in the last 6 years. Even just for 30 hours.

Part of the problem may be that supermarkets seem to want multiple part timers rather than full timers as it gives them greater flexibility.

He doesn't need to change if he's happy.
You don't have to be attracted to, in a relationship with and supporting him tho.

I think he could afford his half of the bills, I'd be okay with no ambition

Not everyone wants the stress, the constant grind, the disappointment if you don't get where you want to be.

But I think he should certainly be trying hard so he can at least cover his half of the bills and learn to drive if that's what he wants - not driving wouldn't bother me at all unless he was constantly pestering for lifts

You're in an unhealthy dynamic if you're bailing him out. It's one thing for him to choose his way of life, another to expect someone else to pick up the slack.

I don't see an issue if it were a temporary situation that happened once if he lost his job and it took him a while to get another, for instance. But he's relying on you to do it on a regular basis over a long period of time while he does nothing to sort things.

it’s hard to find full time work in retail especially where he works

Really? I thought there was a massive retail shortage.

You’re incompatible. Time to move on. Trying to change people is a waste of energy.

Wouldn’t work for me. I’d move on in your shoes.

It's very hard to find full time retail work in supermarkets now unless you specialise or move up. They like to recruit for flexible colleagues so that the employer can just use the hours they need and use overtime only in extreme circumstances.