Getting dressed in front of your children

[watermelonlipbalm]

I just wondered what age you guys think it is still okay to get dressed in front of your children?
Now don't get me wrong when I say this, I don't exactly make a point of getting change in front of my son. But if he came in the room whilst I was getting changed I wouldn't exactly make a bug deal out of it. I would ask he left the room or didn't look, but if he was occupied in the room or whatever then I'd just quickly get dressed.
He's 5.
I was having a conversation with my sister The other day because I noticed that my niece is becoming really shy and conscious of her body. We went swimming the other day and I could just tell that she felt really uncomfortable in her swimming costume in front of others. She was trying to cover herself up with her arms. I've also now that she's started to become a bit shy. I've always been a shy person, so I feel like I could see the signs in my neice. Anyway I just thought I'd mention it to my sister and she agreed with me.
She did mention though that she's been asking her to leave the room when she gets dressed and has been quite strict about this because she feels she is too old now to be in the room when she gets changed. My sister wondered if this might be why she had picked up being a bit shy in a swimming costume because she obviously has more body on show.
I'm not saying my sister is right or wrong. I get that we all have different approaches when it comes to this sort of thing.
But it did just make me think about getting dressed in front of children and I just wondered what everyone else have thought about this. I think I'm probably quite laid-back about it, although I absolutely wouldn't be taking underwear off when my son was in the room!!!

I would find it quite strange to ask a five year old to not look. It makes our bodies sound like something to hide away / be ashamed of.

I walk around naked all the time and my eldest son is 14! I've even been to the toilet whilst my dad was tiling the bathroom! I wouldn't wear clothes if I had the choice most of the time though 😂

I agree with letting the children decide.

During the heat wave, I was walking around in just a pair of knickers. (In the house of course)

My children are dd(9) and ds(7).

They have grown up with me doing this so don’t bat an eye lid.

Dh covers up, because that’s what he is comfortable with.

During the heatwave I was walking around with no top or bra on. Dd1 is 9 and doesn’t mind. I get changed in front of her and think nothing of it.

Dh makes sure that he has boxers on before he comes out of the bathroom for the last few years.

dd9 will get changed in front of me no problem. She is definitely becoming more self conscious around others which is a sign of growing up, though is not fully there yet.

I hate seeing really young children really aware of their bodies at a young age, let them be children and do the safeguarding yourself, rather than putting it on them.

I don’t really understand why you’d tell a 5yo to leave the room or not look. Mine are 14 and 16 and I don’t close doors when changing. Neither of them would care if I changed my top in the room they’re in. I’ve had hot flushes and thrown off all my top clothes. One girl one boy.

Why would you say ‘don’t look’ to a 5 year old? Honestly, I think that’s teaching them that something shameful is happening and that he is actively doing something shameful by looking. Like he’s a peeling tom or something. If you want privacy close the door but again I think it’s unnecessary. My 7 year old isn’t bothered yet but I’m sure once he is he won’t want to be around me when either of us is naked and it will be fairly obvious

Just really so he can learn about giving people privacy and space when they ask for it.

I don't have a massive issue getting changed in front of him but if I don't want him to look then he isn't going to learn about giving me that space when I want it if I don't reach him!

Just to clarify, because all most of you seem to be taking from the post is that I ask him to leave the room or say don't look.

I've also said I don't make a big deal of it and if he was in the room I wouldn't be particularly bothered.

If I want privacy and some space them I'll ask for it and I'm happy to do that.

I'm glad to see most are laid back. I think this so the right approach tbh.

My girls are adults and still will walk around half dressed or nip into the bathroom naked - no qualms at all at communal changing places and we've done German spas where clothing is left at reception. I brought them up letting them make their own decisions and neither are self conscious

Until recently I used to get dressed in front of my five year old, but she is struggling to learn about privacy and appropriateness (she is being assessed for ASD), so recently I've been taking my clothes into the bathroom and getting dressed in there. It's not a hard and fast 'rule' though. She has no sense of needing to cover herself up yet and gets dressed in the lounge with the TV on - sensory issues make dressing quite difficult but through trial and error we've learnt this is the best way to keep her calm and on track. Hopefully as she gets older we can transition to her getting changed in her room.

My autistic DS is 11 and completely unbothered by nakedness. He might wander in if I'm changing and it's not currently an issue. He's not embarrassed by being naked and I still have to assist with some personal care issues so it's just as well really.

My eldest child was completely different and guarded herself fiercely from about 8 years old. I realised she needed her privacy when she got in the bath with a swimming costume on😆.

I have never wanted to make an issue of being naked like my parents did, so will just see how we go. Somehow I don't think my boy will be walking around naked in a year or two and I'll follow his lead with that.

To me a 5 year old wouldn’t care. My 7 year old doesn’t care. I wander round naked in the house and for the sake of the elderly neighbours I am kind enough to put my underwear on to go in the garden (although I have sunbathed topless out there).

This country is hugely prudish about bodies, acts all coy around body parts and thinks sex is naughty - we have issues

My 4 and 7yos are still very much in the "bust in to monopolise me while I'm dressing/showering" stage. My 4yo still rattles the door handle and wails "MUMMAAAAAAY" while I'm on the toilet. Which is awesome. Obviously.

I don't really see the need to do anything until they start setting their own boundaries.

I have always got changed in front of DS and I haven't made a big deal out of it. I don't go out of my way to do it but I don't hide either. I do move away from the windows though and sometimes say I do it so the neighbours won't see me naked. 😂He seems ok so far (he's 5). We only have one bathroom and he often pops in for a poo when I'm showering and he'll have a little look and say something like "it looks like you're weeing, Mummy" when the water falls off my bum. Haha.

I have told him that it's fine to be naked around family but that when we're out and about we usually wear clothes. I had a weird incident recently when DM came to visit for the first time in 3 years and she randomly started changing in front of DS and took her bra off and everything. I felt really weird about it and DS lost his mind going "I saw Nana's boobs!" DM also had a habit of "lingering" in the lounge only wearing a towel which made me feel oddly uncomfortable and DS was clearly confused by it too. I get that she's my mum and I've seen her naked loads of times but it still felt odd when DS was there. 😬She stopped prancing around half naked after I pointed out that DS seemed surprised to see her undressed but she kind of made me feel like a prude.

My 12 year old still comes and asks me questions if I am in the bathroom so I don't think he cares about my nudity. I would never ask my children to leave the room whilst i was getting changed, my parents never did and I have always been relaxed and comfortable in my body.

Agree

Same sex no age

Yes me too!

5 is very young.

I won’t ever be covering up from my DD, she’s nearly 8 and has no qualms about nakedness in front of anyone.
DS 10 is a bit more conservative and has been wanting privacy for a while now so that’s what he has when he changes.
I generally don’t leave my bedroom unless I’m wearing pants but if he comes in I carry on as I was and if he’s uncomfortable he can leave. He doesn’t seem bothered.

I don't know, my oldest DC is 4 and I don't hide or anything but he thinks it's hilarious if he sees me changing, in the bathroom etc. We have introduced the concept of privacy and sometimes he'll ask if I want privacy and close the door. I think he'll decide for himself when he wants to be more private. But he has cousins a few years older and they run around naked without a care in the world lol.

my family I never saw anyone else naked but my husband sleeps naked and walks around the room naked - I started doing the same and never stopped. I saw on loose women once an opinion how it’s not bad children see imperfect adult bodies. My children are almost 16 and I won’t think anything of them wandering in my room when I am changing or showering - they have choosen to keep their doors shut when doing the same since they started puberty so I would never do the same myself to them but I want to show them we should not be ashamed of our bodies.

This ^^
Everyone's body is different and nothing to be ashamed of ... I'd rather my son see a normal female body then all the ones in the magazines.
However we have always said if he wants privacy he can always shut his door. But he is always welcome in our room.

I always get changed in my room, if they come in they come in. It doesn't bother me. Same for the shower. I push the door to but it doesn't lock so if they come in they come in.

DS is a 'free spirit' and will wander around bollock naked at five.

DD is not really bothered about anything and goes through phases at home but she doesn't feel comfortable getting changed in front of people who aren't DH, me or my mum. Swimming at school was a real challenge. She's 10.

What an odd question. He's only 5. When he's older just move away and be discrete. I take 9 yo (boy) swimming and we use the same changing room. I just am discrete about flashing things and cover myself so there's nothing to see. I don't like separate cubicles as he loves to prat about standing in the bench and I'm worried he will fall onto the concrete floor. He's very clumsy and forever falling over.

I continued until they felt uncomfortable.

That was about 8-9 with my son.

My 10 year old daughter isn't bothered so I still dress in front of her.