Pursue an ASD diagnosis?

[Ricepops]

Inspired by another thread which made me think about DS, I'm wondering whether he could have ASD.

He is 7 years old and the main things are:

Academically bright, especially maths. For the last two years he has been "working at a greater depth" in maths, english and reading. When in reception, he was obsessed with Numberblocks, and used to spent ages rearranging square magnetic tiles into Numberblocks and enjoyed seeing different patterns eg 12 being a 3x4 rectangle etc.

No trouble at all in school. Was given a stellar school report this year and last.

Obsessions. He has had them since he was 3. He gets fixated on one thing and watches/plays/reads about it over and over again. His current obsession is Pokemon and has been for almost a year. Also, when he was in reception, his teacher noted that his play was quite repetitive. Quite often he talks to me about Pokemon and this can sometimes feel like he is talking at me.

Likes researching his obsessions on the internet and writing information about them eg lists

Socially he mainly plays with one friend who he gets on well with. He also plays with another friend at afterschool club which best friend doesn't go to.
His teacher mentioned he was slightly concerned that he mainly played with one friend at parents evening in April, but in his school report has written that he is friendly and gets on with lots of children in the class.

He has always been quick to get upset, since he was a baby. Occasionally these could be described as meltdowns, other times a strop. He tends to blame me and DH for every little thing that goes wrong. An example is that he has quite an elaborate bedtime routine, and if I am 5 min late in putting Audible on he will usually get upset or demand an extra 5min. Sometimes he can't rationalise that, for example, if I allow him to stay downstairs for a bit longer one evening, that he won't also have time to read/listen to Audible when he goes up to bed.

Finds it difficult to fall asleep and has always seemed to need about an hour less sleep than his peers since he was a baby.

Quite uncoordinated with sport, but is interested in trying them and has joined a couple of extracurricular groups.

Honestly, written down it does sound like quite a lot, but I feel school will laugh at me if I suggest that he might have ASD given that he is doing so well there.

Sounds very similar to a child I know with an Asperger's diagnosis. ( I know they no longer use that term.). High functioning ASD children can have friends and often do well at school, enjoying the structure and rules. The obsessions are a bit of a give away. A diagnosis is very useful as it can help teachers etc, know how to guide them. The behaviours can become more pronounced as they get older. Good luck.

Do it. I have two ASD children. One went through the conventional route of being referred via school, the other was no problem at all for them so our concerns were dismissed and we went private in the end, turns out she was incredible at masking and has significant difficulties!

@Emmelina if school refuse to refer DS can we do it ourselves? Or is the only other option private?

I did raise concerns with his teacher in reception due to the repetitive play and also that he didn't socialise as well with other children, but they dismissed it. to be fair, he was only 4 and August born so we put it down to his age. Since then it has been confusing as he has obviously been socialising better.

See if you can arrange to meet with the school SENCO, and go armed with a list of why you think he might be. If they don’t take you seriously you can go via the GP, or pay for private assessment.

If you have concerns then I'd pursue a diagnosis. My DS is 12 now and like yours, had many of those traits from an early age - obsessions, needing routine esp at night, a crap sleeper, clinging to one child at school, great at maths, well behaved and seen as friendly... over the years some intensified or lessened and new ones surfaced. I brought it up with every teacher every school year and my own GP that DS may have ASD but was dismissed every single time. He masks really well so nobody had any concerns. Eventually it took him having a MH breakdown during lockdown for an assessment to happen, and had lots of therapy as a result. Even then his school senco (who was also his teacher one whole year), still denied it and told the practictioner he is confident and friendly and that I'm just being paranoid! When a camhs practitioner assessed him within the school environment they realised I'm not mad or fabricating things, that he really is struggling at school despite masking.

He has now completed year 7 and had another breakdown recently leading to anxiety based school avoidance. Thankfully we have an ASD diagnosis in place so the school has been trying their best to work with him. We are also waiting for some type of counselling. The reason I'm telling you this is, when a kid has ASD things can change suddenly especially when go to secondary school or they hit puberty. They aren't the best at communicating their needs and some are brilliant at masking until they burnout and can't cope anymore. With a diagnosis already in place it's easier to help them before that happens.

I am extremely bitter with his primary school, particularly the senco. Due to the their dismissive attitude he had a late diagnosis and perhaps if it had been earlier then things may have been different. I feel the right help would've been available with earlier intervention and better acceptance of his diagnosis by himself.

@Worried2478 I"m really sorry that your DS has had a tough time. I take your comments onboard and DH and I are definitely going to pursue a diagnosis now. I feel really upset about it this morning, as if I've had a crushing realisation as to what is going on. I think the obsessions have always been there, but the social side has been difficult to interpret especially as he is quite confident and chatty, especially with adults. But the outbursts/tantrums and controlling behaviour seem to have become more apparent over the past few months.

This morning for example, when I (politely) asked him to get dressed, he shouted "no", and then said he would but only if he could get dressed downstairs. After he was dressed I asked him to come to the bathroom to brush his teeth, to which he said he was really angry and upset at me because I had just disrupted his train of thought, and said as a consequence that I had to wait 2min to brush his teeth. Then when it was time to go to his swimming lesson he laid on the floor and said he would not put on his shoes as his legs weren't working and wouldn't ever work again. These are the kind of constant battles we have with him over every little thing, and they can be much worse that this, if he gets into a proper strop or tantrum.

Maybe look up PDA as well.

Just be aware it won't necessarily result in any difference, are you seeking help with something specific medically?

Dd was diagnosed young because of lack of speech, I don't think it's actually that useful younger and it's on her record meaning it has to be declared for certain jobs - it caused issues too when dd2 applied for a specific job because they needed to know there was no genetic element??? Odd but true and cost me £££ to get a letter from dd1's consultant psychiatrist who she had seen for anxiety

Have you looked at the Sally Anne test ? I was on the fence about getting DS assessed at age 8 but we did this test with him and he didn't get the perspective at all which convinced me he had theory of mind difficulties. (He is autistic).

Schools don't refer children, go to your GP.

Based on what you describe OP I'd be asking for him to be assessed so that if he has ASC any reasonable adjustments can be identified well before transition to secondary education.

@gogohmm I've never heard anyone say a diagnosis would be a disadvantage before. If anyone else has any experience of this I would be grateful to hear it.

Ours did. Referral was made by the senco

Sounds very like my child who is 5. She gets obsessive about one thing at a time for months and then goes off it and on to another thing (completely losing interest in previous thing). Obsessive over one particular girl in her class, although teacher says she’s friends with everyone. Also has needed much less sleep than other kids. Your post has made me even more certain of it.

Hi, hope you are ok - sounds like a lot going on with DS. It took me 7 years to get an Aspergers diagnosis for my DS - nobody would listen to me - the schools, GP, child psychology nobody as he masks a lot outside of the home, even during assessments the professionals said he was not on the spectrum. I kept on fighting as I just knew he had ASD and in the end I insisted that someone from the specialist assessment service observed him for a long duration at school - which they did and from their observations diagnosed Aspergers Syndrome. When we told DS when he was 9 it broke his heart and he kept saying to us that we shouldn’t have told him and that we shouldn’t have pursued a diagnosis, that we should have just left him alone. He absolutely hates having ASD and hasn’t gotten used to the diagnosis in the last 3 years. I fought for 7 years because I thought he needed the diagnosis to help him through school and in life, but I do regret it a lot because he resents his diagnosis so much and he feels as though he is ‘labelled’ he is deeply ashamed and aside from school, us and his sibling nobody else knows about his diagnosis. I guess you have to do what you think is right for your child, I wish you and your DS well and hope things get a bit easier for you both