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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think enjoying time alone is ok?!

48 replies

theshadeofgreen · 22/07/2022 19:21

I was talking to a friend today. Her DH is going away for a few nights with work and I passed comment on how nice it would be to have the house to herself for a few evenings once the kids were in bed. (He works late hours usually so she's not being 'left alone' with them any more than she's used to)

She was really surprised and said she would miss him and be bored.... I love my dh to bits but am I crazy to think a few evenings of watching what I like, eating what i like and having a quiet house after the kids are asleep sounds heavenly?!

OP posts:

Nocaloriesinchocolate · 22/07/2022 20:37

OOh yes. I’m cat sitting for DS and DIL for a fortnight soon and I’m really looking forward to it, much as I love DH. It will be great to do what I want when I want and slob if I want to.

toooldtocarewhoknows · 22/07/2022 21:22

I quite enjoy it in short stretches. I like to watch stuff he doesn't on TV, I like to stay up to silly o clock sewing. I like to order my favourite take away. It's not that I don't do all these things anyway, but I can do as I please.

Anything more than two nights and I'm missing him terribly.

SheeplessAndCounting · 22/07/2022 21:22

This is why I love being the only adult in the house. I see people when I want to but most evenings are quiet and peaceful and I do whatever I want and have the house however I like. I have cleared up now so about to get into PJs and eat takeaway pizza. 😊

TheWayoftheLeaf · 22/07/2022 21:41

Im a combo tbh. A week and I really miss him. Two nights? Pizza, wine and my book are fab.

StoneofDestiny · 22/07/2022 21:46

Love time on my own and always seek it out.

Mimilamore · 22/07/2022 22:08

I love time alone...

yellowbutterflies · 22/07/2022 22:14

My dh travelled a lot until covid. I love his company but wow do I miss his work trips abroad. He's had one in the last two years, he used to be away every fortnight for at least a few days.
I'd have a long bath watch shit tv read a book ahhhhh was amazing. Currently watching some crap marvel film he wanted me to watch with him. Fair enough he watches my shit tv but it's wayyyyy better watching it alone and not having a narrative such as ,'oh fgs as if that happened' the whole way through!

laalaaleelee · 22/07/2022 22:19

I live alone time. I feel drained after being people for too long. I love being able to do exactly what I want, watch and eat what I want. It's great.

FranklySonImTheGaffer · 22/07/2022 22:23

YANBU! My DH goes away with his friends probably 3 long weekends each year plus he's a teacher and does at least one residential trip plus he spends a few nights away visiting his family during school holidays.
I thoroughly enjoy myself when he's gone. I lie in, watch what I want while led in bed, I sit in a silent house and read (DH has constant noise around him), I light nice smelling candles and waft around the house enjoying the peace.
I think it's so important to be able to enjoy time alone - it does wonders for my MH.

Heterodontus · 22/07/2022 22:28

I enjoy time & space to myself

skysareblue · 22/07/2022 22:30

Yanbu. I was once talking to a school mum about the next day being a bank holiday and she was complaining that her husband and her had the day off work but the kids were still in school, so it seemed like a waste of a day off and I just kept saying "yeah but you get couples alone time!!" She couldn't understand why I was so excited by the kids not being there 🤷‍♀️

Titsywoo · 22/07/2022 22:33

I never get bored being alone. Dh used to go away for a week or 2 at a time and I was perfectly happy with my own company. Always very happy when he came home but never bored. I don't think I have ever been bored as an adult. Too many options to keep me busy!

Cantbeliveyoufakeit · 22/07/2022 22:38

My DH works away a fair bit, usually mon-Fri but not every week, maybe 1 in 3 or 4. I do miss him but I definitely find pleasure in only having myself to please and I think overall it's good for us to have chance to miss each other.

Ragwort · 22/07/2022 22:38

Totally love time alone, my DH has recently retired and as he used to travel frequently for work I am finding the adjustments ... challenging. He's away tonight for the first time in six weeks and I am loving it . I have arranged to go on holiday in my own next week just to get some peace and quiet! Although even when he's here we do tend to spend quite a lot of time apart ... separate bedrooms as well thank goodness.

godmum56 · 22/07/2022 22:40

Its not crazy to need time alone, its essential.

Dita73 · 22/07/2022 22:43

My husband works away Monday to Friday. Let’s just say I hate weekends with a passion

Ohmydayssilleople · 22/07/2022 22:49

I am a very sociable person but I have definitely got to enjoy my own company over the last few years . I absolutely crave time on my own and encourage my husband to go sailing on his boat for a few days at a time !!
Despite having adult children they are boomerangs and there have only ever been a few months where there hasn’t been one of them living at home for various reasons!

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 22/07/2022 22:50

I LOVE my time on my own. But for some reason DH doesn't! The 2 of us spending 24 hours a day 7 days a week together is his idea of Heaven, (But MY idea of HELL!) I love him and do enjoy his company sometimes. But fuck me he grates on me when we are together a LOT.

He has been off work for 3 weeks with a 'health issue' and I work from home. He has followed me around like a lost puppy, and mithered and pestered me relentlessly. I have had to shut myself away in the spare bedroom to WORK, and have had to order him (like speaking to a naughty child,) to leave me alone. I have had to think of a reason every single day to not kill him!!! (half-joking!)

resuwen · 22/07/2022 22:50

RandomMess · 22/07/2022 19:40

Quite possibly an extrovert/introvert thing.

This! There's nothing wrong with either mode, different people have different needs!

PlopPlop · 22/07/2022 22:53

Mine was working on my birthday recently, DC at school, so I drove to a beach and set up camp. Read a whole book and snoozed. I loved every minute of it!!!!!

ScampiFlies · 22/07/2022 22:58

I love the alone time if dh has the odd night away with work. He was working away through the week for 3 months last year though and I got a bit too used to having the evenings to myself.
I usually have a day off mid week while dh/dc are out and it's so nice

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 22/07/2022 23:03

My DP is often away for work - he’s just back from five days. I love him so much, but also really enjoy pootling around on my own, eating food he doesn’t like, just me and the cat.

In the evenings we often do our own thing or sit in different rooms, popping in and out with cups of tea or whatever anyway. I’m on holiday at the moment (teacher) and he has a half day Friday every week. Today we went out for lunch together, then I went for a run and had a bath afterwards. We ate dinner together, he went for a walk, and now we’re watching TV.

carefullycourageous · 22/07/2022 23:04

I miss my partner when it is overnight, but he works late shifts at times so I regularly get evenings to myself which I like.

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