Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there is no way to get 3-5.30pm "right"?

50 replies

dolly12345 · 22/07/2022 17:32

I have a 1 year old and a 5 year old. 3-5.30pm is reliably a shit show, whatever I do. DC5 is crabby and chasing me to help with whatever they're working on. DC1 grizzles and wants to be held. DC5 has no patience for DC1 and will push DC1 out the way if provoked. I've tried so many different ways of doing things - snacks, drinks, activities, playpen for DC5 so they can play in peace, nothing makes it any less awful. Feels like we all want to cry by the time DH gets home.

AIBU to think maybe 3-5.30 is just shit with littles? Or am I missing something? Tips welcome too!!

OP posts:
Fridayyah · 22/07/2022 17:58

Just park them both in front of the telly. Stick some paw patrol on and let everyone have a big cuddle together on the sofa.

Fridayyah · 22/07/2022 18:00

Also prepare as much of tea as you can earlier in the day so all you have to do.is plonk something in the oven.

Eileen101 · 22/07/2022 18:12

Do you mean Mr Tumble o clock?
Just means tea gets moved earlier as the grumpiness clearly means bed time is needed in our house!

Abra1d1 · 22/07/2022 18:14

Mine are now 23 and 25 and that time is still imprinted on my memory. Not so bad in summer if the weather's OK, because you can distract them outside. Sometimes, on dark winter afternoons and evenings, mine had a very early, very long bathtime. I'd get them out and they'd look like little prunes. The bath was the only place they stopped winding themselves and me up.

SafariPark · 22/07/2022 18:20

Little one in the sling on my back and big one doing the cooking. But yes, just awful unless carefully, quietly occupied. Mine don't focus on telly well enough to use as a distraction and it seems to make the grumpiness worse. I use recipe cards my four year old can follow and my one year old likes being held close in the sling. Mental countdown to wineoclock throughout.

ChiselandBits · 22/07/2022 18:21

I remember the witching hour as a bit later, about 5.30-6.30 after dinner and before bed. I agree with nap for the little one if possible before pick up, if you can have dinner prepped and ready to go before pick up, ideal...especially in the summer, picky bits, dips, carrot sticks etc and there really is nothing wrong with cbeebies .A couple of 30 min slots before bed is fine and gives everyone a break. I'm not sure about rushing off to activities ..in a year or so absolutely but a school day is knackering for a 5 yo.

Flamingooooooooooooooo · 22/07/2022 18:22

I'm so glad you posted this, I thought it was just me! And I only have one toddler!!!

HairyScaryMonster · 22/07/2022 18:32

The kids get a snack as soon as they're home from school, i police the best i can and put the TV on at 4.30 for 30 mins while I make dinner.

gwenneh · 22/07/2022 18:35

My grandmother also called this "the witching hour" -- you do what you need to do to survive!

NightsinBlueSatin · 22/07/2022 18:37

If I'm honest I struggle with it so much I have no idea how people get their kids into bed by 7/7.30. If I get mine into bed by 9 I feel like I'm winning. Awful time.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 22/07/2022 18:46

What everyone else said. Four yo and 2x babies here… we stay out at the park for a bit (or go to the local shops), then home, tv, fruit, and I often switch on the Encanto or Frozen soundtrack and vanish to the kitchen so that I’m out of the picture. Then dinner at 5pm and a long bath. When it was just DD and winter I’d sometimes drive us to Pets at Home to look at the guinea pigs. That would kill an hour.

sparklecrazy · 22/07/2022 18:53

It's the same in our house. 5y5m twins. The falling out. The noise. The grumpiness. The hunger. The frazzled mother Confused taking note of the tips on here!

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 22/07/2022 18:59

Nice days: park right up until dinner time.
Yucky days: dance party.

Usually this keeps the DCs happy. If it doesn’t, the whining irritates me less when it’s outside or drowned out by music. ;-)

Btw, this only works if there’s no dinner prep to be done. I usually batch cook on weekends, freeze everything, then pull stuff out of the freezer and microwave it every night during the week (because I do this each week, I’ve got a full freezer stocked with different types of meals - not the same thing every night). Dinner prep = 5 minutes while the kids have a first course of soup, veggies, fruit or cheese.

Tumbleweed101 · 22/07/2022 19:09

Witching hours for us too (my eldest is 24 and youngest 13 now so those days are long over).

We did dinner between 4-5pm, then homework/play, bath and cbeebies bedtime hour. Bed at 7pm straight after with a story, especially for reception age and below.

Was always a busy few hours but they always slept from 7pm bedtime so got the evenings to relax. Missed the 7pm bedtime as they got older - still do 🤣

PestoPasghetti · 22/07/2022 19:09

I've been a nanny for 15 years, and this is a routine that's worked well for me:

3:15 - school pickup, snack, then straight to the playground that's nearest school, in all but the most extreme of weather. Get waterproof suits for all of you. The fresh air and running around is vital for releasing the pent up frustrations of the day. Run around and join in with the play as much as you can - you'll get endorphins too that way and feel happier and calmer later in the evening, and it's a good way to show your eldest that they're getting your time and attention too. Usually, especially in summer, there will be other mums at the playground who you know - chances are there'll be one who's happy to make a fuss of your littlest while you take the opportunity to run around being a pirate or a superhero or whatever. If not lug him round in your arms and make him a character in the game too (subtly suggesting to your eldest that he's fun to have around!)

After 30 - 40 minutes, head home. If it's a drive back have an audiobook or nursery rhymes on in the car so your eldest can turn his brain off a bit.

As soon as you're home, get the reading out of the way. If you can put your youngest in the playpen with some 'high-value' things to explore. By 'high-value' I mean coveted, not your usual baby toys - random things they wouldn't normally get to play with. Suggestions: Spice jars and lids (don't wash them out , just brush out any remaining herbs or spices, so they still smell strong), egg box with realistic rubber eggs and a couple of wooden egg cups, and old handbag containing 'keys' (look up yummi keys on amazon, add a leather keyfob, maybe a couple more safe keyrings) and a wallet with expired credit cards and monopoly money, and an old dead mobile phone (they love those little flip ones) plus a couple of other random bits, a gallon bottle filled with water (maybe superglue the lid on!) a busy board (or handheld activity cube would be the budget solution!) a mesh bag they can open with a drawstring that contains lots of different kinds of fabric offcuts (too big to swallow!), a seagrass basket with a bunch of either naturally occurring or made from natural materials stuff, that sort of thing. Or high-value toys. But the idea is he ONLY has access to these things in the 20 minutes you spend doing reading with your eldest, and only a couple of the things each time so they stay interesting. Hopefully then he'll be distracted while you're doing the reading.

After reading, little one goes straight on your back in a back carrier (I love my Manduca for this) while you crack on with tea. Ideally you'll have something in the slow cooker or you can defrost something you previously prepared, but if not try and keep weekday meals quick and easy - cheese on toast, jacket potatoes, garlicy flatbread and carton of fresh soup, pasta pesto (see username!!), vegetable fritters, fish fingers and peas, all that nice simple stuff, so little one doesn't get bored on your back. While you're doing this eldest can be at the kitchen table doing homework, and you're handy to help if needed. With your youngest on your back it'll feel more like you're concentrating just on him. A fun teether toy tethered to the carrier should help keep littlest on distracted! After homework if tea's not ready your eldest can chill out doing jigsaws or drawing with an audiobook on, or watch TV until tea time.

Serve up tea. If your eldest needs to practice sounds or sight words or anything turn it into a sort of game to do with them while they're eating (unless you eat with them of course). It's less of a chore and more enjoyable that way. You can involve your little one too, by showing them a flashcard with a picture on and asking them 'what's that?' on their turn. If they aren't verbal yet you can ask eldest to help them answer 'A Cow!' or 'A Jug!' or whatever.

Chuck them in the bath. You can make bath time a nice long activity rather than a quick dip if they generally get on ok in the tub together. It's nice for them to have that positive bonding time, as the aim of the afternoon up until now has largely been to keep them apart!

Hopefullysoon2022 · 22/07/2022 19:29

When mi e where that age and the weather was nice I'd bring them out.
I also called it the witching hour.
It's awful,everyone frazzled,kids are mad and cranky.

In the winter I used to bring mine for a babychino or a hot chocolate.
Breaks the monotony but it doesn't last for ever.

BiscuitLover3678 · 22/07/2022 19:31

This is what TV time is for 😬

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 22/07/2022 19:33

PestoPasghetti · 22/07/2022 19:09

I've been a nanny for 15 years, and this is a routine that's worked well for me:

3:15 - school pickup, snack, then straight to the playground that's nearest school, in all but the most extreme of weather. Get waterproof suits for all of you. The fresh air and running around is vital for releasing the pent up frustrations of the day. Run around and join in with the play as much as you can - you'll get endorphins too that way and feel happier and calmer later in the evening, and it's a good way to show your eldest that they're getting your time and attention too. Usually, especially in summer, there will be other mums at the playground who you know - chances are there'll be one who's happy to make a fuss of your littlest while you take the opportunity to run around being a pirate or a superhero or whatever. If not lug him round in your arms and make him a character in the game too (subtly suggesting to your eldest that he's fun to have around!)

After 30 - 40 minutes, head home. If it's a drive back have an audiobook or nursery rhymes on in the car so your eldest can turn his brain off a bit.

As soon as you're home, get the reading out of the way. If you can put your youngest in the playpen with some 'high-value' things to explore. By 'high-value' I mean coveted, not your usual baby toys - random things they wouldn't normally get to play with. Suggestions: Spice jars and lids (don't wash them out , just brush out any remaining herbs or spices, so they still smell strong), egg box with realistic rubber eggs and a couple of wooden egg cups, and old handbag containing 'keys' (look up yummi keys on amazon, add a leather keyfob, maybe a couple more safe keyrings) and a wallet with expired credit cards and monopoly money, and an old dead mobile phone (they love those little flip ones) plus a couple of other random bits, a gallon bottle filled with water (maybe superglue the lid on!) a busy board (or handheld activity cube would be the budget solution!) a mesh bag they can open with a drawstring that contains lots of different kinds of fabric offcuts (too big to swallow!), a seagrass basket with a bunch of either naturally occurring or made from natural materials stuff, that sort of thing. Or high-value toys. But the idea is he ONLY has access to these things in the 20 minutes you spend doing reading with your eldest, and only a couple of the things each time so they stay interesting. Hopefully then he'll be distracted while you're doing the reading.

After reading, little one goes straight on your back in a back carrier (I love my Manduca for this) while you crack on with tea. Ideally you'll have something in the slow cooker or you can defrost something you previously prepared, but if not try and keep weekday meals quick and easy - cheese on toast, jacket potatoes, garlicy flatbread and carton of fresh soup, pasta pesto (see username!!), vegetable fritters, fish fingers and peas, all that nice simple stuff, so little one doesn't get bored on your back. While you're doing this eldest can be at the kitchen table doing homework, and you're handy to help if needed. With your youngest on your back it'll feel more like you're concentrating just on him. A fun teether toy tethered to the carrier should help keep littlest on distracted! After homework if tea's not ready your eldest can chill out doing jigsaws or drawing with an audiobook on, or watch TV until tea time.

Serve up tea. If your eldest needs to practice sounds or sight words or anything turn it into a sort of game to do with them while they're eating (unless you eat with them of course). It's less of a chore and more enjoyable that way. You can involve your little one too, by showing them a flashcard with a picture on and asking them 'what's that?' on their turn. If they aren't verbal yet you can ask eldest to help them answer 'A Cow!' or 'A Jug!' or whatever.

Chuck them in the bath. You can make bath time a nice long activity rather than a quick dip if they generally get on ok in the tub together. It's nice for them to have that positive bonding time, as the aim of the afternoon up until now has largely been to keep them apart!

You sound like a lovely nanny!!! :-)

Clymene · 22/07/2022 19:35

Witching hour. It's awful but it gets better.

GriseldaPlum · 22/07/2022 20:02

I don’t think two hours of CBeebies is appropriate if possible to avoid

Always worked for me. They're now both post uni with good jobs, one married, other a bit of a career woman. Having said that, there were no other screens when they were little. No tablets, no smartphones, no X box or whatever the gaming thingys are nowadays. Nothing apart from two hours of CBeebies at teatime. Bloody lifesaver.

Justeatmorecake · 22/07/2022 20:05

I had 3 under 3, my top tips were doing the main meal at lunchtime and having ‘bits and bobs’ at teatime so it was more like a picnic so they could choose what to have, always getting some fresh air as others have said and doing bath time before tea. I found bath time manic otherwise as everyone was tired and inclined to try and drown each other. I quite often revert to this format even now at 10 years on and it makes the early evening much more relaxed knowing that they’re all ready for bed regardless of how slow they eat tea.

GriseldaPlum · 22/07/2022 20:08

Nothing apart from two hours of CBeebies at teatime. Bloody lifesaver

Oh yes, and very long sudsy play baths as mentioned upthread.

Hopefullysoon2022 · 22/07/2022 21:36

And have a guess what's after the witching hour,🍷o clock.

MooseBreath · 23/07/2022 19:58

I'm so glad I read this, because I thought it was only my kid. DS (2YO) is predictably a nightmare from 4:30-6pm. He does everything he knows he's not allowed to do and gets massively emotional. We tried moving dinner, adding snack, watching television, adjusting nap time, playing outside... nothing helps. It truly is The Witching Hour.

fhdl34 · 25/07/2022 17:27

I think this is why nurseries do tea so early. I’m sure my friend told me her DC’s nursery did tea at about 3/3.30ish

New posts on this thread. Refresh page