Name change as a bit outing with friends on here, but past user. My ex who I was with for 1 year has moved back to Turkey from UK a month ago. He was working in hospitality in UK for his family here 2 years, but had had enough of customers being rude / racist etc and never seeing the light of day with all the hours hospitality involves. He is a trained actor and so decided to move back home to rejoin his agent there, which he has done, but has only had 3 auditions so far, which to me sounded more like extra work than proper roles. So = no income from that so far. Still early days as he has been out of the game a while.
As an aside, we have had loads of drama since he decided to move back and told me in April. Dropping me / back on again. He wanted to try and work things out and we have been back and forth and struggled to let go of each other as the feelings are still there. He got in contact a few weeks back to say he had decided he wants to be with me for sure, then a week later says he has a plan... I can fly to Turkey to see him end of Aug and we can have a hol together and start things again. But it was not in his city where he stays, he wanted me to fly to a resort place. The flights were extremely dear from UK like £500, but when I checked what it would be for him it was just 70 odd pounds to fly. He also said at first "would you prefer a 5* hotel or a private villa with a pool?" followed by "BUT it is expensive..." then comes oh I need to tell you something "I can't spend money like I used to...". It becomes clear he has had this hol idea but expects me to mostly fund it? I asked how long, could we do a week, as my kids were going away with their dad 7 days then, but he says no he can only do a few days. I then say can't really justify going away in that situation: the toll on me flying 5 odd hours each way for just 3/4 days plus about £1k unplanned spending. Could be winter fuel bills, kids new uniforms etc. He has no kids so maybe does not understand... plus I have already had a few breaks this year so hol budget maxed.
He then seems quiet and says oh I can see you in xxx city, in UK when I come in Sept. I had no idea he was coming back then so ask why and he says because I need to to keep my visa etc (so not to see me 🙄) literally weeks later he would be here after end of aug but tries to spring a hol on me.
AIBU to feel this is cheeky? I have suspected him of being a bit of a taker in the past, very eager or pushing to book expensive restaurants in past when it was my turn to pay, but always cheap lunch/cheap place usually when his turn. The only thing that makes me doubt him being a taker is that he took me away one weekend for my birthday and paid for everything and spoiled me. But otherwise, he was like that 90% of the time.
This latest thing has really riled me. I worry his acting career won't work out and in Sept he will be back and asking for help if I start subsidising him now? He also made a few odd comments just before he left like, oh if you send me money to Turkey it will be worth more due to rates etc. I just laughed as we had never mentioned me sending him money and I assumed it was a joke. He and his brother who is still in UK send their family money. He currently lives rent-free in a property their family own so just needs money for living.
Do not suspect wife etc as I have met his parents when they visited. But thinking if really wanted to see me and had low funds why not just invite me to where he lives so just paying for flight. Unless his motive was to go on a paid for hol and not to really see me... :( he even sent me links for places they were 1k just for accom, feel really sad about this, but want to not be naive! Why would you send someone 1k hol links if you were struggling to go away or even suggest it?
He hasn't messaged me since Mon, as apparently I had offended him in some way (I was away with a friend on a pre-planned hol!) but he does this then gets in touch again.