I have a friend, who married the love of her life after a great many tribulations...family opposition etc. So now about 20 years or so of being married, she reveals that he's not the man she thought he was...his values are different to hers, he is often passive aggressive towards her family when they visit, and is not always respectful towards her either, although she herself is a well paid professional, smart, looks after herself etc etc. So I asked her why she still stays married to him- why not walk. And she said- she wants to stay around till her kids are off to uni and then she'll consider whether or not to walk out on him! So she's hanging in that marriage, tolerating all this ('mildly' abusive behaviour - in her words!!!) until her kids are sorted! I told her to leave straight away- was IBU?! Don't want to keep pushing her as I have a huge amount of respect for her and she's been a good mate, so don't want to spoil our relationship.