Tell me what to do/buy/arrange to feel better and stay well please!

[Arizonian]

I’ve been feeling under the weather for a while now… multiple colds, chest infections, weigh piling on etc.
I don’t have any parents left or family and haven’t gone back to work since having baby 12 months ago due to cost of childcare and in all honesty my job was so low paid and I much prefer to be with DC. DH works at home so it’s easy to just potter about the house but then I don’t eat properly, I just snack. I do go to the odd baby group but keep getting illnesses so then I miss a week or two.
I’ve feel I’ve become rather unhealthy and if my parents were alive they’d have sorted me out! (Mum was great at mothering and that’s what I really am missing now).
Rather than dwelling on what I don’t have (family, support network), I do have time to plan my own days with DC and about £200 a month to spend on myself from an investment I have.
What should I do/buy/eat. I’ve looked up detox plans but they are shakes not proper food? Can’t go to exercise classes because of DC (DH can have them after work but I’m so tired by 6pm). Don’t know what to cook so we tend to have stuff DH likes which is quick and easy and not particularly healthy. I’m totally lost and starting to downward spiral a bit, my physical health isn’t great and I’m worried my mental health is starting to fail a bit too. I need my mum.

I am so sorry for your loss. Can you try to mother yourself? Maybe join a nice gym with a creche so you can do some classes, swim, even have a coffee? Then perhaps hello fresh or gusto for some evening meals? Try to get to the baby groups when you can, so you get out of the house. Could you and dh have lunch ch together, or is that hard with his work schedule?

I’ve looked for gyms/college with childcare and because we live rural there isn’t anything. I did find a childminder but it was pretty dire.
Yes I could ask him to book a space for lunch in his day (he tends to eat at his desk, normally packet soup or pot noodle or eggs) that’s a great idea. Just wonder what I can make that’s easy with a one year old about my ankles.

Get some decent vitamins and book a gp appointment you could be low on iron/b12/vit d

i would also up the vitamin c intake via vitamins or diet to see if that improves the constant colds etc.

1. nutritious food. Are you getting 5 portions of veg /fruit a day? . Aim for a range of plant-based foods and enough protein. Minimal additives.
2. an hour of daylight a day - expose your face to it as early as you can in the morning
3. exercise - loads of bodyweight workouts on youtube.

When i had a run of mild illnesses i bought a nutribullet and every morning made a smoothie with half an avocado, a few handfuls of fresh spinach, 1/2 tsp ground ginger, 1 tsp each of cumin, turmeric and cinnamon. Top up with water. You can freeze the spinach. Add some fruit if you want it to taste sweeter.

Go for a walk everyday with your DC and make it part of your daily routine. This will get you out of the house and away from pottering and give you exercise, stimulation and fresh air. And it’s free!

I would avoid faddy plans and diets. Keep it simple…
We eat a lot of things like mixed bean chilli (have with whole meal rice or jacket potato), vegetable soups, quorn bolognaise, quorn curries, mixed Mediterranean ratatouille (have with whole meal rice) - all cheap and healthy and all lend themselves to freezing and swift reheating. For breakfast try mixed berry porridge (frozen mixed berries are cheap rolled oats are even cheaper) for lunch how about something ultra nutritious but really tasty (honestly) like a quinoa and chick pea salad with onion, cucumber and feta with lemon juice and olive oil dressing, and once made and refrigerated it should last a couple of days.

Cut down on carbs and sugar.

I’m not a vegetarian but I eat a lot of quorn and vegetable based meals for environmental, health and financial reasons. Since being more health conscious with food I feel so much better mentally and physically and my immune system is much stronger. There is a wealth of food inspiration and information online, I use Pinterest or BBC Good Food a lot.
For an Iron and vitamin boost get Floradix and take twice daily, this will last a few months.

You don’t need to invest a lot of money but you will need to spend a bit of time planning and doing recipe research. A few small changes will start to have a positive impact and you can then introduce more changes. Good luck.

@WifeMotherWorkRepeat
a daily walk is a great idea! And I’d actually love those meals too. I think I’m lacking in any motivation to research plan and then buy the food. I’d love someone to just do that for me right now! Thank you for the good advice

Would something like a gousto box suit you? That way you can choose some healthy meals from what’s on offer without having to use up lots of brain space on planning. Might introduce you to some nice new recipes too

Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It's just how I felt when I had DC1. I had put on 2 stone from pre baby weight and lost fitness too. Was so tired in the evenings too. I also had no friends in the area and felt very alone.

I invested in a second hand off-road buggy that I could walk fast with, and even occasionally run with. I would go out after DC1 had eaten lunch when he would nap and he would fall asleep in the buggy. My fitness would only allow me to run about 30 secs on the first walk. Then I made a minute, then 2, then 5 and I built up so that eventually I could go for a half hour (very slow) run whilst pushing DC1. I was a sweaty mess but I loved the endorphins. Started to feel better in myself as a result and slowly the weight started to come off too. I began to cut back on eating crap as well- I worked out how many calories 1 minute running would burn then I compared it to biscuits etc, eg- do I really want this biscuit, it's 4 mins of running. Eventually I got close to my pre pregnancy weight but most importantly I started to feel better about myself.

Tbh I ruined all the good work by getting pregnant again but I didn't put on quite so much weight the second time and the same process worked except I had to buy a double buggy that took a carry cot on one side!

I have started doing Pilates at home and trying to walk more, I lost my last family member a few months ago and have been overeating and grazing, probably due to grief/can't be bothered cooking except for dc but I am slowly making myself more active.

How about cycling? I took up cycling about 4 years ago to help lose weight and get fitter again. Walking makes me sore and miserable cause I knackered my knee falling off a horse, but cycling is low impact. I’m not talking fast cycling - I go at an average of 9mph - but you could cycle with your kid as well, once they’re old enough for the wee seats. Even when I don’t really want to go out and cycle, if I force myself to get out and I always find myself enjoying it once I’m out! Its been great for my physical and mental health.

Have you spoken to the GP? I'd ask for a blood test if you're lacking energy, deficiencies are really common in women after having children. It might be worse discussing how you're feeling about your mum too.

Things that have helped me stay fit and healthy-ish:
Take a daily vit B &D
Aim for 5 portions of fruit and veg per day
3 decent meals per day - I eat breakfast with DS every day, lunch with him on our days off and then dinner with either DS or DH depending on our schedules that day. Nothing fancy but decent nutritious stuff, I try to make things that can last for a couple of meals where possible.
Aim for 10k steps - I found this much easier with a baby/toddler in a buggy than I do with a 4yo though
I used to use his nap time as my work out time a couple of times a week, now I do either a YouTube workout of an evening or get out to a PAYG class if DH is around to cover childcare.

Walking was my saviour when dd1 was little. I lived very rurally and relied on the bus to go anywhere, so every single day we went out for a walk (exception if it was stormy - we lived in the outer Hebrides at the time!). I let her splash and crawl about even in the rain (got good puddle suits for her) and after that she would go for a nap and I could get on with the things 5hat needed done like making dinner. At the weekends dh would take her swimming and I'd get a rest on a Saturday.

I kept that routine when ds was born 2 years later and then with dd2 2 years after that. People driving by must have wondered who this strange woman with 3 kids jumping in puddles and sitting in the mud were, but we didn't care. When they were really little they came in the sling so they could get some fresh air.

As others have said a daily walk and upping your fruit and veg would be a great place to start.

I barely left the house after covid hit as I got everything delivered (mostly still do) and wfh. We got a dog last summer and now I have to go out for walks. It has done me the world of good. I am not saying yiu should get a dig but knowing some fresh air would be good for you and DD might be a good motivator.

For lunches, salads, wraps and tacos are favourites here. I am vegan so add beans, tofu, roast veggies and grains to those. Having things ready in the fridge in advance makes it come together easily. Jacket spuds with salad are also a favourite. Much of our evening meals are one pot things which again come together easy. Rice with Curry/chilli, pasta with sauce, stir fry with noodles etc. Chuck in loads of veg.

Hope you feel better soon. If it persists, maybe see gp for some blood tests.

I'd make sure I went out for a walk each day. I also used to do exercise dvds when my DC we're young. They used to join in next to me!

Have you looked to see if a local gym does any mum and child exercise classes, I know our one has spinning, buggy fit, a yoga type one and then as your child gets older they do some you can do together. Usually only for around £4 a class.

Try and do a meal plan of breakfast, lunches and dinners so you don't end up skipping meals. I like the two chubby cubs and pinch of nom recipes books if you want a range of meals around 500 calories or less. Most of what I make the rest of the family enjoy as well.