To think this is not the way to handle this?

[50mg]

We've had a bit of a reorganisation at work, which means some people have swapped offices.

Two new people, who work together, a very tight knit team (and fwiw, though not relevant here, excellent at their jobs) happen to be young, attractive women.

An older, male member of staff was overheard, by the big boss, saying something like how he'll be spending much more time in that part of the building now. Boss is horrified, but rather than tackle him, she has gone to the women to "warn" them and ask them to let her know if anything happens that makes them uncomfortable. He's one of those men who thinks he's God's gift and doesn't always get the banter right, but AFAIK doesn't generally cross lines.

I've told boss it's not their job to manage his behaviour, but she doesn't seem to get that at all. Genuinely believes she's done the right thing in making sure they know they should report any concerns.

AIBU to think what she's actually done is make them feel uncomfortable?

You are absolutely right. That what not the way to handle it. He needs a good talking to.

Wow I cannot imagine any reason why she would talk to them and not him about it. It is entirely his problem and entirely not their problem. Very badly managed IMO.

Who on earth has said you are being unreasonable?? Oh must be a man.

That's patriarchy for you. Easier to make women responsible for managing unwanted male attention than it is to tell men not be be creepy arseholes.

I think she could have stopped him in his tracks by telling him she now knows to take any complaint against him for sexual harassment very seriously.

I don't think she's done anything wrong in talking to the women concerned. I'd be grateful for a heads up in that situation. I

Argh posted too soon .
I do think she's wrong in not dealing with the man who made the remark. He should have been given a verbal warning at least.

You are absolutely right.

Maybe I'm being unfair, but I suspect the boss has done this because its the easiest and a cop out way for her to deal with it.

Especially if she is ever accused of not dealing with him.
If anything should happen, she can say: well I did do something, I told the women to watch out for him and report. See see, I did deal with it

She's done the bare minimum possible, so that can't be accused of not dealing with it.

But as I say, maybe I'm being unfair.

You're definitely NBU and I agree that it's him who needs to behave appropriately rather than singling out the two colleagues in question.

However I suppose her thinking might have been that if the senior boss heard and didn't act then she might've wanted to at least ensure the 2 younger women felt comfortable reporting any inappropriate remarks or behaviour to her. It might've been tricky pulling him up pre-emptorily if he considers himself a bit of a ladies' man but has never actually crossed any lines in his conduct.

Really... how about men stop perving over Women. 🤔

It depends on whether this man has got form for any kind of "unsavouy" behaviour, or it was just a throwaway remark that if made by women, about a young attractive muscular male, would probably be deemed perfectly acceptable.
No I'm not a man BTW!!

Preemptively, not peremptorily!

Boss should of picked him up on this at the time of overhearing

Completely agree with you this is not the way to deal with it

I would have appreciated a heads up, but I also would expect the manager to speak with the man too.

Yes she has.
She is a manager.
One of her jobs it to prevent losses - like 2 payout for sexual harrassment claims and/or 1 bullying claim.

She has basically provided both employees proof that she is aware that they may suffer some level of sexually harrassment long before anything happens.
Imagine her sitting giving testimony, admitting she informed the two employees that they know the third employee is possibly a sexually harrassing idiot.

She has also made a statement which could be constructed to form the basis of a bullying claim by the male employee. If the 2 female employees begin to treat him poorly and he never acts inappropriately, she has instigated that chain reaction.

As an employer she should have spoken directly to the male employee about his comments and monitored the situation.

If she was concerned, she should have made it clear to the new employees, that harrassment of any sort was not tolerated. This should be without naming names. And that they would be listened to and supported if they had concern and incidents would be investigated and promptly dealt with.

I've only spoken to boss about it. She thinks she did the right thing in reassuring them that they can report if needed.

Sorry boss and big boss are the same person and a woman. The person at the top of the organisation, approx 150 staff.

I think this is a massive overreaction. It sounds like a throwaway remark, made nowhere within earshot.

I think she should have either addressed it with him directly right then and there or if she was going to speak to them give them a general talk (and everyone) that if they were ever made feel uncomfortable by aby staff member regardless of seniority they were encouraged to report it.

Telling them to watch out for his fella who made a joke is just weird. They're not little infants who need to be protected. Explaining company policy and support around these issues would suffice.

Yes, I think I'd have been there I'd have said something "light hearted" at the that made it clear the remark was unacceptable. And then watched for a while.