I haven't been feeling the best recently. I am on antidepressants (for nearly 2 years) and have been seeing a counsellor for most of 1 year. We are addressing some deep-rooted issues and I get on well with him. I wouldn't say I'm depressed like I was before I started the medication; I feel much more like myself and I can enjoy things again.
However, in the last couple of months I've been feeling sort of flat. There's a heaviness that I can't seem to shift and it's hard to find joy when I'm just living my life. If I'm distracted, like at work, I can be friendly and smiley and enjoy myself, but underneath that I find it hard not to get wrapped up in the pain that's there. If I'm in a room of people I know and stop to think, I feel disconnected from them and like I don't have the energy to pretend I'm fine and to engage in normal conversation. I go to a club where we sit and listen for most of the time, and when that part is over I leave immediately as opposed to hanging around and chatting or having a coffee. It's not like anything awful has happened to make me feel like this - I just feel empty and I'm not sure why.
I'm not sure if this is just a temporary result of talking through deep issues in therapy or if I should be more concerned about it than that. I'm afraid to mention it to my counsellor because I'm scared it means I'm going backwards.