To think it’s fine to get a dog if you both work full time?

[chatterbug22]

As above, not about our situation but about a friend. I thought it would be interesting to see what people think.

They’ve wanted a dog for ages- one is a shift worker with several days off per week and the other works a very flexible 9-5 with half the week at home. Friend is upset as they’ve been told repeatedly that a dog is a massive tie and will prevent them from going on holiday / going away. She has worked out that there is only one day every couple of weeks that they wouldn’t be at home, and her dad lives just down the road and would be happy to pop in on the dog and give it a walk on these days. AIBU to think people just find an excuse to warn people off doing things these days? I don’t see an issue in their situation, pets bring massive joy!

This is the same for all dog owners though, regardless of work hours.

I think there is two separate parts to your OP, people are absolutely right that a dog is a huge tie and responsibility. All our UK breaks have changed since we got a dog, we have to plan around where he can stay with us, where we can eat, someone staying back with him if we wanted to do a theme park or something while we are away. We have taken one abroad holiday since having him and spent a long time building him up to his time in the kennels, starting with a day visit, then one night, then two, then a long weekend etc before the actual holiday.

The second part about their working full time / shifts I think is totally reasonable. We both work full time but I am only in the office twice a week (although we only finally agreed to get him when my previous job went full time home working, unfortunately I was made redundant a few months later!). He is perfectly happy on the days I am in the office, he gets a long walk in the morning and DS takes him when he gets home at 3.30. We have a camera to check on him any time.

I was told this BS too.

Ddog is so not a tie. She's been so easy. She slept through the night from 5 months, she eats everything she is given, she is always happy to go for a walk, she is always delighted to play.

DC are a flipping tie.

Think from the dog's perspective. You say they'll be out this/that amount of hours each week. Think how much will the dog be alone and is that okay? They're pack animals, not solitary, they like to be among their pack, sleep among their pack, rest among their pack, eat among their pack. We already deprive them of this in many ways and you're talking about also leaving them alone. Everyone I know with dogs ensures they are never alone. This is the reason I don't have one, they are too needy and it's a choice between giving them what they need or neglecting their needs and I'm not willing to do either. We have adopted three animals but we knew we could meet all their needs, not so with a dog. Definitely don't be buying them ones as animals are not things to have but living beings to care for as and when we are able to do that.

I'm sure our neighbours think their dog is fine when they leave it during the day at weekends. It isn't. It starts barking from the moment they leave to the moment they return. It's foul for the dog and foul for us.

This is my exact set up.

It's still not 'easy' to own a dog when you work shifts/work from home but we make adjustments to give the dog what she needs.
The only impact on holidays is the additional cost for boarding!

I really wouldn't give other people's opinions any headspace but I would opt for daycare over someone popping in now and then on those odd days. Our dog also goes to daycare when the shift worker is sleeping, they might want to consider this too.

It's fine for some people and not for others.

I know a woman who works in the office 9-5 monday to friday and pops home at lunch to let her dog (a young beagle) out. The rest of the time it's on it's own. Thats unacceptable imo, even if the dog is technically 'fine'.

We have a dog and both work full time, but we have very flexible jobs and WFH often so there is always someone home with him. On the odd occasion we both need to go into the office he goes to my mums, who is retired and has two dogs of the same breed and land so he has a whale of a time there. He also goes to her when we go on holiday and I dont feel the slightest bit bad as I know he is with people he knows having all his needs met and then some. But we are lucky to have the flexible jobs and the support. We also have my mums dogs when she goes away so it works both ways.

It's all about the individual situation.

one is a shift worker with several days off per week and the other works a very flexible 9-5 with half the week at home

Saying they're 'full-time' is a bit of a wind up.

Surely someone with 'several days off per week' - given that there are only seven days in a week - is not full time!

Having a dog is a huge tie, even if you don’t work. Holidays, and even days out, have to be planned around the dog. People are telling your friend the truth.

Fairly sure someone who does 4 ten hour shifts would consider themselves to work full time! That's 3 days off a week

We both work full time and have an 18 month old dog. We work at home 3 days a week and he goes to doggy day care the other 2 days.
it is a huge responsibility and we have drastically changed how often and where we holiday but he is worth it. When we go out in the evening we either take him with us or he goes to my neighbours house to play with her dog.

We choose to bring dogs into our families so we should be aware of their needs and manage our lives to accommodate them.
Dogs are amazing and I can't imagine our house without one. But, they are tying and messy and can make it tricky to be spontaneous. However, what you get back from them is priceless.
We WFH now, Ddog gets a 45min run/walk before work, 30min walk at lunch and 60mins after work, it fits in with our schedule and we have older teen DCs so it's easy to get out without having to drag kids along. If we go on holiday he goes to family to stay.

I think people are giving your friend good advice. You say that there is only a couple of days a month that they will both be out of the house. Look at that from the dog's point of view, they are used to having someone around and then left on their own for hours and hours unended the days that they are working.

It is ok to say that her Dad lives nearby and will pop in. What happens if he has to be somewhere, on holidays, sick or just not want to.

It is not easy to get someone to look after a dog while on holidays. A good Kennel can cost the price of a holiday if not more. It is fine to say a friend is a dog sitter but that is their business and your friend will need to treat it as a business and make proper arrangements with her friend rather just expect her to pick up the slack just because she is a friend.

@JengaCupboard yes my dog costs around £500 a month too! But I don’t care; I knew what it would cost to give him the best best life and so be it x

Both working full time isn’t the issue, one could work days, one could work nights and the dog never be without a human in the house.

I volunteer at a rescue and what matters, amongst other things, is how long the dog will be alone, how often and what plans are in place for that time. We don’t home to people who will leave their dogs for more than a few hours at a time at most, depending on the dog.

They've obviously thought it through which is good, and it sounds like it could work in that they’re not both out all day every day - one of them should be around most of the time? But good Lord I hope they’re not getting a puppy,

Ans I hope they are prepared for how overwhelmed some of us felt being first time dog owners. It’s a completely life changing thing.

I never leave mine without the doggy cam on her. Perhaps suggest this to your neighbours!

Me and DP work ft and have a dog. When he was a pup DP was in a lot more as worked nights. There was around 12 months when he was left 5 hours Mon to Thurs. But I wfh now so it's only 2 days and on those days my mum calls for half an hour

My dog is fine..he's old now. But lots aren't fine being left at all.

Their situation is no different to anyone else’s. They’re at home most of the time (title very misleading) and everyone with a dog is unable to do certain things. I’m sure they already know this. They won’t completely understand until they get the dog but that’s true of every new dog owner.

people are just annoying….my dogs are eight and almost nine and my mum still likes to say at every opportunity ‘Oh I was going to suggest going to xxx but then realised we can’t because of the dogs!’. Then she goes on and on about how restricting it is without realising that they being so much joy and the force me to exercise every day whether I want to or not.

As long as they are sensible about what breed and age they get then it sounds like a pretty good life for any dog.

I wouldn’t be without my dog. He’s a tie, in the same way kids are a tie. We just take him on holiday with us

I think they would be fine to have a dog. On the odd occasion where no one is at home they can book a dog walker.
I work part time and DH works full time, but is quite flexible and more often than not ends up doing half a day once a week or so or even having a Friday off. He also can take the dog to work. On the few days where no one is home at the dog has to stay we use a dog walker. I think you do have to look at the over all picture. But if two people have a ‘proper’ 9-5 job, Monday to Friday, then that’s no good.
Holidays - we’re luckyto have family who can have our dog when we go away. That is definitely something to think about. There are always kennels, but some dogs really can’t cope with that and anywhere decent is very expensive so you have to factor that in.
I think having a dog is like having kids in that you do need to enjoy things in your free time that you can do with them - otherwise what’s the point in having them? We enjoy long walks, sitting outside at the pub, also walking holidays in the UK where we obviously take the dog with us. If you want to just do things that don’t involve your dog in your free time and have a dog at home as part of the furniture that’s no good in my opinion.

Dogs are huge responsibility, the very reason I don't want one.

It so selfish of people to not realise what they are taking on in terms of care, vet bills, food bills, puppy stages so people telling your friends this are right in doing so.

This sounds like a similar situation to my parents. On the days where it meant they were both at work (2 days a week at most depending on the shift pattern), one of them would go home half way through the day to take the dogs out for a walk/wee.

Meant to add, with our dog if we're going to be out for more than 4 hours we're very fortunate that we have someone who will look after her.

You can still go on holiday - there are plenty of different options, home boarding, boarding kennels, house sitters... UK dog friendly holidays.

Yes they are tying, but for me it's been 100% worth it.