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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to move to Scotland?

108 replies

kisaki333 · 20/07/2022 21:58

Hi, please help me make a decision as my heart and brain are not in the same place.
Background:
DH and I are in our 40's, we have a 6-month old and we are currently in a waaaaaay too small rented flat in SE England.
A while back, we've had an offer accepted on a house (SE England). The mortgage offer is for a 5 year fix under 2% which, by today's standards is incredible. It runs out in Sept, though, so we can only use it for this house.
The house in question is an OK house in an OK area with OK-ish schools. Nothing spectacular and it's about all we can afford in this area of the country.

While we were waiting for our sellers to get a move on with their chain (it's been months), we became convinced the sale will fall through and after viewing umpteen other properties, we realized we can't afford any other house we like around here. So we started thinking about moving to Glasgow where we lived years ago (when we were young and wild!). In Glasgow, we could afford either a superb house in an OK area or an OK house in one of the best areas with the best schools (like Bearsden or Milngavie etc). But to get there we have some bumps:


  • DH would have to ask for a transfer from his work. It would probably be granted but no idea when, it depends when there's an opening. Risk is where-ever he gets transferred might not be as nice as his current setup, it's a gamble.

  • I would also almost certainly have to change jobs as my current employer wants us 3 days in the office (although I can do my job from home without any issues) . Risk is the new job would probably not be paid as well. I am the main earner so that would be painful but not disastrous in the short term.

  • We would likely have to first move into rented accommodation in Glasgow and only after buy a house (very hard to do viewings from miles and miles away and the market is hot there at the moment). Risk is: really nasty to move twice with a small baby.


My head says to buy the SE property (bird in hand etc). My heart wants to go back to Scotland.
A third option would be to buy the house in the SE now and then move up north in a few years. But by then DH will be almost 50 and he's the social one of us two. Really hard to start fresh in your 50's...

I am so very torn. I want to do what's best for my DC and I just can't decide what that is.

So please let me know what you think!
YABU - buy the SE house, Scotland is just a dream which might easily become a nightmare!
YANBU - listen to your heart and go north

OP posts:
Icannever · 20/07/2022 23:11

I am from Scotland but my dads English, I don’t think he’s ever felt unwelcome in Scotland.
We absolutely love holidaying in England, weathers better, more to do for older kids but we are always glad to get back to Scotland where it’s just that bit quieter, traffics better, beaches are so much quieter.
I think schools are better here, perhaps less academic but more child friendly. Less emphasis on testing and more child led learning in my experience plus you will never be fined for taking your child out of school. I love that our school holidays are earlier too as it means you can get cheap holidays in England.
Also if we’re going to get lots more heatwaves like this week I’d rather be here where it is cooler (ok freezing)

Bobby80 · 20/07/2022 23:13

Scotland in a heartbeat. A better education system, free university, wild outdoor space, fewer people, Irn Bru…….

I live in a town with a large Royal Navy community. Lots of English families and I’ve never heard of any anti English behaviour or rhetoric. Buy them a drink and the Scots love you 🥃

StoneofDestiny · 20/07/2022 23:17

I've lived in Scotland and England (various parts of both). There is good and bad bits of both - live in one, but it's easy to get to the other.

Scottishskifun · 20/07/2022 23:20

TunnelOfGoats · 20/07/2022 22:29

Genuine question, but do any of you English posters who have moved to Scotland get any hostility from the locals? We would love to move there and the lifestyle would really suit our interests, but wouldn't want to be surrounded by people who don't want us there

Yes but mostly around election times or referendum it's not pleasant when it does happen.
But I'm also pretty rural and some people where I am don't even like toonsers (the city folk) visiting or moving here. So it very much depends on where you are and it is the minority.

jcmd · 20/07/2022 23:23

Tellmewhyaintnothinbutaheartbreak · 20/07/2022 22:24

Come back but please be advised that the SNP has run the country into the ground.

that being said, check out Giffnock, clarkston, busby, East Kilbride, cambuslang, Rutherglen, Shawlands

I second this.

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/07/2022 23:27

I’d go to Glasgow - great city, and it sounds like you can sort the work thing out.

Although I don’t think it’s amy harder to move in your 50s than your 30s or 40s so I wouldn’t worry about that.

caoraich · 20/07/2022 23:33

I live in one of the Glasgow areas you mentioned and we are really happy. We're not from Glasgow but we like it here and DC is happy. Plenty of local friends and neighbours are English. I'd say go for it if you can get the work stuff sorted out

sweetkitty · 20/07/2022 23:42

We are originally from outside Glasgow, lived in the SE for 9 years had DD1 then decided to move back, we’re 20 mins from Glasgow now and have never regretted it. I gave up my career and became a SAHM (and I was the main earner at the time). Once all DC were at school I went back to uni retrained and now have a second career I love.

drlel · 20/07/2022 23:56

If you're looking at houses in bearsden or milngavie they're currently going at 20-25% over the HR value (and the offers over price is actually usually even below the HR value). Most are going to a closing date which a couple of years ago was unusual for Scotland.

Sure it's still much more affordable than SE England but just wanted to flag

Ps this is the area I live in and love it but the weather is so much wetter and colder!

Goodnewsday · 20/07/2022 23:57

As long as you’ve got your wellies and a jacket packed, come on in 🤣 sadly you have already missed our one day of sun for the year as it fell on Tuesday, nightmare!

Houses here are going for way over still although it is calming down a bit now. It’s frightening what you can get here compared to there though

giggly · 20/07/2022 23:58

I have just been on holiday to the SE and the best bit was the weather tbh. Can’t stand the busyness of London, the queues in the motorways( and that’s from someone who regularly sits at a standstill on the M8) and the amount of people just everywhere. I’ve lived overseas and Scotland is just the best wee country ever.
Second what others are saying But house prices but there are so many good areas to choose from without paying over the odd for south Ren schools.
come on up you’ll not regrets it

SummerIsComingNowish · 21/07/2022 00:05

FayeGovan · 20/07/2022 22:53

This thread warms my heart ❤

@FayeGovan I grew up in Elderpark Street 😊

FayeGovan · 21/07/2022 00:08

👍👍😁

BellaLab · 21/07/2022 00:11

My advice would be to be careful where you move to. We have only recently moved back to our hometown where we were born and raised but we moved due to DH’s job years ago. Many locals in the village have taken a massive dislike to newcomers who have moved here. A lot of the houses are now second homes which have been bought by people South of the border, this means that a lot of local younger house buyers are priced out of the market. People who have bought houses here to relocate aren’t welcomed at all and are almost shunned by the original villagers. We were welcomed back with open arms as both our parents lived here, however there is very much a divide of incomers and villagers.

Sooverthisnow · 21/07/2022 00:15

Not with children. The education system is a race to the bottom but it’s ok because they’ll be taught gender trumps sex and they can choose what they are from a young age, and you as parents have no right to question it. 😕

Vikinga · 21/07/2022 00:15

What about friends and family?

I hate built up areas and would much rather move to where I can live in a nice and bigger house but Glasgow is still expensive.

Have you thought about somewhere like Sheffield or outskirts?

Prices are affordable, plenty of jobs and people are really friendly.

Lagertha6 · 21/07/2022 00:21

kisaki333 · 20/07/2022 21:58

Hi, please help me make a decision as my heart and brain are not in the same place.
Background:
DH and I are in our 40's, we have a 6-month old and we are currently in a waaaaaay too small rented flat in SE England.
A while back, we've had an offer accepted on a house (SE England). The mortgage offer is for a 5 year fix under 2% which, by today's standards is incredible. It runs out in Sept, though, so we can only use it for this house.
The house in question is an OK house in an OK area with OK-ish schools. Nothing spectacular and it's about all we can afford in this area of the country.

While we were waiting for our sellers to get a move on with their chain (it's been months), we became convinced the sale will fall through and after viewing umpteen other properties, we realized we can't afford any other house we like around here. So we started thinking about moving to Glasgow where we lived years ago (when we were young and wild!). In Glasgow, we could afford either a superb house in an OK area or an OK house in one of the best areas with the best schools (like Bearsden or Milngavie etc). But to get there we have some bumps:


  • DH would have to ask for a transfer from his work. It would probably be granted but no idea when, it depends when there's an opening. Risk is where-ever he gets transferred might not be as nice as his current setup, it's a gamble.

  • I would also almost certainly have to change jobs as my current employer wants us 3 days in the office (although I can do my job from home without any issues) . Risk is the new job would probably not be paid as well. I am the main earner so that would be painful but not disastrous in the short term.

  • We would likely have to first move into rented accommodation in Glasgow and only after buy a house (very hard to do viewings from miles and miles away and the market is hot there at the moment). Risk is: really nasty to move twice with a small baby.


My head says to buy the SE property (bird in hand etc). My heart wants to go back to Scotland.
A third option would be to buy the house in the SE now and then move up north in a few years. But by then DH will be almost 50 and he's the social one of us two. Really hard to start fresh in your 50's...

I am so very torn. I want to do what's best for my DC and I just can't decide what that is.

So please let me know what you think!
YABU - buy the SE house, Scotland is just a dream which might easily become a nightmare!
YANBU - listen to your heart and go north

Go go go.

I'm in NW Eng and trying to convince my DP to move there in the future but he says no.

Scotland is my favourite place on earth.

maidofold · 21/07/2022 00:32

I live in London. DH from Glasgow and all his family are there and he would love to move back. We could have an amazing house there. I used to love going there but for me it has changed. It used to be so friendly but when we go there now there is more and more hostility towards English accents and I don't feel welcome anymore. Not by my DH family but generally out and about. I would be worried about my kids with their English accents being bullied. Digs about being English all the time. I laugh with them but there's only so much...
Perhaps it would be different if we lived there and not just visiting. I wonder if because Nicola has made the anti English/Westminster her goal on her relentless pursuit of independence this is now how it is there. Plus the weather is so much worse! It's such a shame as it's a beautiful country and used to be so welcoming to all but I don't find that now.

Dasher789 · 21/07/2022 00:34

@TunnelOfGoats I grew up in Scotland and moved away for uni. After ten years or so away, I came back last year with my English husband. We have not had anyone make us feel unwelcome. On my street actually there are four English families in the immediate vicinity. I am not aware of any of them having any issues. They all seem to love it up here too. I second the PP who said it can be difficult at election times however, the type of people who behave like this have an issue with any non snp/independence supporter so it's not exclusively an assault on English people.

For OP, we are very glad we made the move. We have a much better quality of life. We are in east lothian.

Celia24 · 21/07/2022 00:36

Tellmewhyaintnothinbutaheartbreak · 20/07/2022 22:24

Come back but please be advised that the SNP has run the country into the ground.

that being said, check out Giffnock, clarkston, busby, East Kilbride, cambuslang, Rutherglen, Shawlands

Nonsense. Just completely untrue. SNP definitely have their downfalls but quality of life is fairly decent.

I live in West End OP, love it here. Southside ok too though I suppose....friends love it there too and I'm from Southside. Was a safe place to grow up.

Lucienandjean · 21/07/2022 00:36

We moved from England to Scotland a few years ago and it's been a good move in most ways: cheaper housing, more space and countryside, we live near the sea too.

But I hate the way the SNP is driving the country into the ground. Not even the just independence stuff - more that they are completely incompetent (and don't know what a woman is, apparently). I honestly don't think we could stay if Scotland gained independence, it would just be a disaster. I'd also be concerned about school standards if I had young children, and I'm already concerned about falling ill as the NHS here is in an even worse state than in England.

We've found Scotland to be a beautiful, generally friendly place. Despite my reservations about the Scottish government, in nearly every other way our lives here are good.

In the years we've been here we've had one serious incident of anti-English sentiment, from a Crazy Neighbour who threatened my dh with violence for speaking in an English accent(!) But the neighbour is crazy and would have found some other way to hate us I'm sure, the Englishness was just an excuse.

Glitterblue · 21/07/2022 00:40

@TunnelOfGoats we're quite a friendly, welcoming bunch I wouldn't like to think English people were treated with hostility but I suppose there will always be some. My ex is English and found Edinburgh very welcome when he moved up to move in with me. He still lives there, 25 years on.

Newestname002 · 21/07/2022 00:47

What a great thread! I've now got a small glimmer to come to Scotland myself now! 🌹

SkeletonFight · 21/07/2022 00:51

The weather is shite though!

Original poster
kisaki333 · 21/07/2022 02:04

Vikinga · 21/07/2022 00:15

What about friends and family?

I hate built up areas and would much rather move to where I can live in a nice and bigger house but Glasgow is still expensive.

Have you thought about somewhere like Sheffield or outskirts?

Prices are affordable, plenty of jobs and people are really friendly.

@Vikinga I should have mentioned in my post... we are not British by birth. We moved to the UK 10-15 years ago and have friends in both the SE and Glasgow but no family. And no close friends in either so, from that perspective, it makes no difference. Still, I don't feel like I could start from 0 anywhere else. If I did, I doubt it would be the UK, to be honest... That's why I said either here in the SE or Glasgow as at least we know the areas a little bit and have some acquaintances there...

OP posts: