Tidy bedroom expectations

[HeleenaHandcart]

I’ll narrow it to about age 5 (when they are independent more) and 15 (not yet adults). Toddlers and adult children are excluded.

Children’s bedrooms:

Yanbu- I expect at least a vaguely tidy space

Yabu- It’s their space to manage as they wish, I don’t set rules

I’m no Mrs Hinch but I expect a tidy-ish space, eg having clothes for the next out is fine on a chair. Dumping a pile of clean and tidy clothing in a pile or scattered isn’t fine, dirty underwear is very not ok. Book out is fine, many books scattered is not fine. Toys out being played with are fine, all the toys out and mixed up not fine. Generally it’s kept reasonably easy to tidy as it’s kept ok, no food, nothing is stored in a way were it will be damaged or lost. I will help my children have a sort out every now and then or if it gets on top of them (they are kids and learning, I’m not a monster or that fussy), but the day to day expectation is they look after it themselves- I am no servant. It’s also tidy.

I thought I was really average (my children range from 6-26 and I’ve not really changed expectations or had fuss with the rules over the years). However among my friends and people I meet I’m starting to think I’m the outlier.

I’m wondering if I am out of touch…?

Vaguely tidy (all under 11). Clothes hung up once washed, that sort of thing. Periodically tell them to sort their books and magazines away. 5yo leaves Lego strewn everywhere but as long as we can get to his bed without breaking a foot, that’s acceptable, as long as he helps tidy every now and again so I can run the hoover round.

Im focusing more on teaching them to understand that things feel nicer when they are a bit tidy - no idea if that will work but that’s the aim!

DS is 5 and DD 2, so I do keep their rooms to the standard I keep the rest of the house. I hoover most days, obviously beds made etc and all toys are put away each night. DS is generally good at helping and will always help to tidy away after a play date etc. I am not sure what stance I will take once they are old enough to turn it into a pig sty. I think I will still tidy and clean as I can't bare the thought of a messy, or worse, dirty bedroom. X

YABU. I left them to it at about secondary age (dirty crockery had to be brought down). They lived in a pit for a while but now are pretty clean and tidy.

It only took about a year.

My rule is it has to be tidy by bedtime, in the morning I clean and hoover so bed needs to be made, floor clear of toys, clothes put away. I don't mind if she leaves things out on her desk or chest of drawers but the floor has to be clear. DH brings down her laundry and rubbish as it's a long way down the stairs for her carrying things. No food and only water in her bedroom so no rot or grossness thankfully!