AIBU to think DS will be damaged by never meeting his dad?

[TrainGke]

He’s a few weeks old and ex has zero interest. He’s not responded to the photo, nothing. He has no other kids, no marriage etc so it is literally that he can’t be bothered. I’m worried about the damage to DS, especially as I can’t face finding another relationship any time soon!! So there won’t be another man.

I understand it's not ideal but doesn't mean your child is doomed, quite the opposite actually. If you raise her to love and respect herself and set healthy boundaries with people, she will be thrive. I think it is better for a child to have no contact with father than have inconsistent contact. At least this way her self esteem won't be constantly messed with. She will grow up with her mother's unconditional love, knowing that she is worthy and important.

Ofc there will come a time where she wants to know about him and you have to prepare for that, there are lots of resources to help you approach this in the best way (but you don't need to worry about this now she is too little!)
Your daughter will be okay. I promise.

sorry realised you have a son not daughter! but the same applies

He has a wonderful parent, and one that is already working overtime, thinking about how to make sure that he has everything needed.

It’s more than likely the, that he will grow up feeling secure and loved, with a wonderful backdrop of your guidance and some positive male role models.

A nasty father will damage him so it’s lucky he isn’t in the picture

I talked to a child psychologist (actually the head of child psychology dept at a university) and she told me a child needs ONE secure stable attachment. If they can't count on anyone, that is a problem. But if they have one, they will be ok.

Btw I have a friend who never met her dad and she said she wasn't bothered by it. Very close with her mum, married and stable etc.

Also influencer Anna Kingsnorth has never met her dad/doesn't know who he is

Stability and honesty are critical for children.

Better to not have a father figure than a flakey one popping in and out around the edges.

I met mine in adulthood and we've got on well, but it's better that he was totally absent than messing me around.

My son is a grown man and his dad has had no interest in him at all. It has messed him up 'cause he wants to know why he's not good enough to be in his life. It's sad. I've done my very best as a single mum and showed him more than enough love for 2 parents.

Some people are fine, some aren't, only time will tell.

I think that good role models are important to take the place of the absent parent. A really supportive family makes a huge difference.

I think an uncaring, univolved parent is worse than an absent parent.