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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Overly sensitive employees/apprentices

399 replies

OhGoodnessItsSoExhausting · 19/07/2022 22:46

Ok, so I pride myself on being a strengths focussed supervisor. I always want to mentor and help my employees and apprentices as much as possible. But the last two apprentices (all apprentices in this role are graduates if that's relevant) have been soooooo sensitive and just plain.annoying!

I can't give any feedback because they 'know it already.' I can't say anything right because apparently I know nothing about transgender issues or decolonisation of the workplace and I need to hear them 'educate' me on it all and lend me books because they (20 years younger with zero experience in this role) know how to resolve ingrained, inherent systemic racism and prejudice and clearly if they were in my role they'd have solved all the problems in society which impact the role, already.

They are always 'curious about X...' and 'wondering about y...' instead of just speaking in normal language

They are driving me insane!!!

They can't manage their workload (even though I'm so worried about upsetting them I give them half what I've given to previous apprentices). Apparently it's important to be 'boundaried' and assertive with your needs. (Yes,.I know that, but I'm just asking you to do your job - you are paid more for these apprenticeships than many of the more senior staff in the organisation).

They are so bloody self absorbed and self riteous. I find them so patronising.

Is this entitlement, condescending attitude and use of fluffy language a generation thing? Or (please tell me), I've just had a bad run of two extremely annoying apprentices!!? (who I found out today are friends! So I guess they feed off each other discussing how amazing and riteous they are and how everyone else in the organisation is incompetent.)

Grrr..

OP posts:
Rainallnight · 19/07/2022 22:48

I find the same about that generation. Though I started a thread on it a couple of years ago and got my arse handed to me.

Original poster
OhGoodnessItsSoExhausting · 19/07/2022 22:50

:) 😀 yes, fully.preparijg myself get flamed rainallnight!

OP posts:
Eunorition · 19/07/2022 22:51

If their blathering has nothing to do with their work and their performance is poor, give them poor write-ups and hire new ones.

I wouldn't waste energy on them. They sound like they can't hack it.

Blobblobblob · 19/07/2022 22:52

I have the same issue with mine.

FML 😂

Womencanlift · 19/07/2022 22:53

Well for a start if they are not delivering what they should be/are expected to then that’s on you as their supervisor. No need to feel that you will upset them if you give them less work - that’s just poor management

If they are expected to do x then target them to complete it by a set time

On the other topics then yes maybe they can teach you something. Reverse mentoring is becoming more common

However if they are just supposed ‘know it’s all’s’ that are demonstrating nothing of value then it’s up to you to get them focused on the day job

JuniorPenny · 19/07/2022 22:54

focused only has one ‘s’

Original poster
OhGoodnessItsSoExhausting · 19/07/2022 22:56

Blobblobblob · 19/07/2022 22:52

I have the same issue with mine.

FML 😂

🤣🤣💐💐

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/07/2022 22:59

Why on earth are you giving them less work to do? Why aren't you saying to them look this is what is expected of you, this is what other people are doing and if you don't want to do it feel free to go somewhere else, but if you intend to stay here do the fucking work!

Luidaeg · 19/07/2022 22:59

you are paid more for these apprenticeships than many of the more senior staff in the organisation

how the hell does that work then?

CoolAir · 19/07/2022 22:59

Sounds as though they don't have enough to do and not challenged enough by their work.
Whenever I mentor any newly qualified staff in nhs they are on a steep learning curve, aware every day of their lack of experience and are very grateful for guidance and advice.
I think you need to make their duties more challenging and increase their responsibilities

slightlysnippy · 19/07/2022 23:02

I found this Simon Sinek video enlightening, if you haven't watched worth some of your time.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 19/07/2022 23:02

Agreed , teach the ones that want to learn how to be successful and give the ones who can’t or won’t learn a lesson in failure and wash them out. Honestly it’s what some of them need.

Hankunamatata · 19/07/2022 23:03

Start giving them the proper workload. If you upset them even though you are treating them perfectly normally then tough. Cover your arse, send everything discussed on follow up emails. Send emails about managing workload. If they try to waffle off then a polite 'let's focus on the task in hand'

user1471504747 · 19/07/2022 23:04

We don’t have this issue OP and hire a lot of both graduates, and employees who have not gone to uni but are doing an apprenticeship with us.

Perhaps you have a recruitment/management problem?

You need to shut down non work related discussions when they are not coming up appropriately, and actually deal with performance issues instead of being scared.

Original poster
OhGoodnessItsSoExhausting · 19/07/2022 23:05

Well I kind of offer these apprenticeships as a favour. It's a fairly expected part of my role, but I don't have to do it. I volunteer to take them, and mentor them, and in return they have previously always added to the work place and been an additional, helpful pair of hands. I have previously enjoyed hearing what the apprentices are learning at uni and keeping up-to-date etc... even making adjustments to my practice, but these two have been waaay too much.

They have just been completely draining. Much more a hindrance than a help! They are attached to a uni and I'm thinking of telling the uni I don't want any more thanks. My current one leaves September and I am meant to be assigned a new person then. Maybe I'll try this third person, but if they are like the other two, I won't be taking anymore! It's sad to see what's happening to this generation now though :( they've stopped learning and instead feel that at 26 they are on placement to teach everyone else :( Hope it's not a generational thing and I have just genuinely been unlucky with this recent pair!

OP posts:
Twindow · 19/07/2022 23:05

Does their job have anything to do with racism or trans issues? If not, require them to focus on their contracted tasks.Give them the usual amount of work, obv. They are taking the piss.

Blackmoggy · 19/07/2022 23:05

OhGoodnessItsSoExhausting · 19/07/2022 22:46

Ok, so I pride myself on being a strengths focussed supervisor. I always want to mentor and help my employees and apprentices as much as possible. But the last two apprentices (all apprentices in this role are graduates if that's relevant) have been soooooo sensitive and just plain.annoying!

I can't give any feedback because they 'know it already.' I can't say anything right because apparently I know nothing about transgender issues or decolonisation of the workplace and I need to hear them 'educate' me on it all and lend me books because they (20 years younger with zero experience in this role) know how to resolve ingrained, inherent systemic racism and prejudice and clearly if they were in my role they'd have solved all the problems in society which impact the role, already.

They are always 'curious about X...' and 'wondering about y...' instead of just speaking in normal language

They are driving me insane!!!

They can't manage their workload (even though I'm so worried about upsetting them I give them half what I've given to previous apprentices). Apparently it's important to be 'boundaried' and assertive with your needs. (Yes,.I know that, but I'm just asking you to do your job - you are paid more for these apprenticeships than many of the more senior staff in the organisation).

They are so bloody self absorbed and self riteous. I find them so patronising.

Is this entitlement, condescending attitude and use of fluffy language a generation thing? Or (please tell me), I've just had a bad run of two extremely annoying apprentices!!? (who I found out today are friends! So I guess they feed off each other discussing how amazing and riteous they are and how everyone else in the organisation is incompetent.)

Grrr..

Tell them you don't need "educating"....!

How bloody dare they!

They sound like jumped up little gobshites.

RollerPolarBear · 19/07/2022 23:05

Why would they be paid more than senior management? That makes no sense.

AffIt · 19/07/2022 23:06

I work in an industry where the starting salary is eye-wateringly high. I've been working in said industry for more than 15 years and my firm is, without a doubt, the most humane, empathetic environment I've ever worked in, and trust me when I say it is not my first time at this particular rodeo.

Enormous starting salary, 30+ holidays in addition to statutory holidays, private health care, pension, majority remote / flexible working, all up the wazoo.

For the first time this year, we've been recruiting brand-new graduates (our previous policy was at least two years' post-qual - yes, I know, we benefitted from the pain of others. I don't make the rules.).

Fuck me, they are entitled.

I've been recruiting for a couple of entry-level IT generalists - positions which should basically fill themselves - and it's been horrendous. I know the past couple of years have been hard, the cost of living is increasing by the minute etc, but it genuinely feels like these young people don't want a job.

I'm in my early 40s and I really, REALLY don't want to be all 'in my day' about this - I come from a generation that tolerated some utter shite at work in the early 2000s and I don't want that to be endlessly repeated.

I admire the fact that young people are standing up for themselves and yes, we should be moving to better models of working and work/life balance, but I'm not sure where I missed the memo that businesses are apparently charities that have to pay you for the luxury of being you, rather than, you know, doing actual work.

CoolAir · 19/07/2022 23:07

because apparently I know nothing about transgender issues or decolonisation of the workplace and I need to hear them 'educate' me on it all and lend me books

And this would be considered unprofessional behaviour in my workplace unless it directly related to the work we were doing at that time

bluekostree · 19/07/2022 23:07

Whilst I agree with you in general how do you get onto transgender issues?

MyMigraineAndMe · 19/07/2022 23:09

“They are always 'curious about X...' and 'wondering about y...' instead of just speaking in normal language.”

That just sounds like they’re trying to be somewhat polite/diplomatic in a clumsy way- unsurprising if they’re young.

user1471504747 · 19/07/2022 23:09

It doesn’t sound like you’re being an effective mentor OP and you’re clearly not getting anything out of them either. It’s a lose-lose.

Kite22 · 19/07/2022 23:09

Hankunamatata · 19/07/2022 23:03

Start giving them the proper workload. If you upset them even though you are treating them perfectly normally then tough. Cover your arse, send everything discussed on follow up emails. Send emails about managing workload. If they try to waffle off then a polite 'let's focus on the task in hand'

This.

and no, it is not typical of a whole generation. You are either unlucky; or your company has a poor recruitment process; or your training scheme / mentoring scheme is poor; or your management of them is ; or, quite possibly some combination of these.

HollowTalk · 19/07/2022 23:11

@AffIt Could you tell us how much they are paid and what you look for in the candidate?