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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to look after a stranger’s cat

10 replies

User112 · 19/07/2022 21:29

My friend’s new neighbour has an operation coming up in the next week that will make her immobile for a few months. She’ll have to move to her sister’s house to recover and she cannot take her cat there. It’s an indoor cat. I am thinking of offering to look after the cat.
My twins have been begging for a cat and I thought this could be a good test run. DH thinks it’s “risky”.

what are the risks involved that I can’t see? The lady will pay for the vet bills and I’m happy to pay for the food.

OP posts:
CoalCraft · 19/07/2022 21:35

How old are your twins? Is there a risk of them becoming very attached to it and then being sad when Kitty goes back home?

Is it an elderly cat / does it have any health problems?

Do you know this lady at all? Do you trust that the cat has a nice temperament and will be suitable around kids? If, god forbid, something were to happen to the cat, is there a risk of the owner becoming nasty about it? Are you willing to be in regular communication about the cat with a virtual stranger?

I don't think it's necessarily a terrible idea but it is quite a lot of responsibility to take on for someone you barely know.

Original poster
User112 · 20/07/2022 05:55

The twins are 7. It’s not an elderly cat, but I was told it’s a “well behaved” cat

OP posts:
Sundayfootball19288228282 · 20/07/2022 06:01

We’ve indoor cats and they are no issue at all, it would be a nice gesture because what is her option really if she can’t take it with her ? Potential rehoming?
as long as you are happy with a litter tray and emptying it etc then I’d say go for it, one less stress for the person having the op

Cervinia · 20/07/2022 06:02

It could be distressed and frightened in a new home for probably many weeks, it could also be unfriendly out of fear, it might not like two young children giving it lots of unwanted attention.

can you remember to keep the door and lower windows closed at all times? It’s very hard if you’re not used to it, to leave the door open whilst you nip to the gate or speak to a neighbour or whatever.

i also think you shouldn’t have to pay for food.

that said it might be lovely. I would see the cat in its own home first, does she come to the DC for strokes or hide? Is she bothered by you being strangers?

would she be better left in her own home and have visitors every day with food and time to spend giving her attention? Probably.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 20/07/2022 06:04

What is the risk your DH is talking about?

The risk is that your kids will fall in love with having a cat and you/DH won’t which will lead to endless begging and pleading by the children.

Other than that, it really would be the perfect test run. I’d do it. (But I already know how much I love cats).

Hillrunning · 20/07/2022 06:20

Would it stay in its home and you go to visit? That's fine, but can't see how it is a test run then as it would be nothing like having it in your home. The risks would be the stress for you if the cat got out, got reqlly sick or reacted badly to having children in its home.

If you plan on taking it to yours then no, do not do that. It would not be in the best interest of the animal. New environments with the added stress of two excited children with no experience of a cat would be really really cruel.

ShirleyPhallus · 20/07/2022 06:22

What does your husband say the risks are that he’s concerned about?

Daffodilsdance · 20/07/2022 06:29

If you are not used to an indoor cat it might be tricky in the Summer months . We recently had to keep our cat ( who normally is allowed out ) in for 2 weeks after he had an operation. We have a 6 year old so had to keep explaining to shut the front door quickly when we went out . I am also used to open windows whenever I want and that was a pain .
Our cat wasn’t stressed as it is his normal home and used the cat litter . How would you honest feel
if a cat that was not yours had a wee where it shouldn’t ?

Sunbird24 · 20/07/2022 06:30

I did this for a lady who was going overseas for several months after being suddenly widowed. Her two cats came to live with me and after a couple of days of settling in they were just fine. She gave me some money every month towards costs but I loved having them, and one in particular became my little shadow. I was always wary about letting them out in case anything happened but they never went far anyway. Might have been different if I’d had kids maybe, but it sounds like yours are old enough to understand that it would just be ‘on holiday’ at yours and would be going home eventually.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 20/07/2022 06:38

what are the risks involved that I can’t see? The lady will pay for the vet bills and I’m happy to pay for the food.

  • how will you keep the cat indoors so it doesn't run off and get hurt?
  • are your twins old enough to remember to shut windows and keep all the external doors closed?
  • are you happy to have doors and closed in the summer months to keep the cat safe?
  • what happens if the above doesn't happen and the cat gets out and runs off?
  • what happens if the cat is stressed in your home and has accidents?
  • do you have scratching posts and hiding places so the cat can escape your children?
  • what will you do if the cat scratches up your carpets and furniture?
  • won't your children be heartbroken when the cat eventually goes home?

Lots to think about, especially as it's someone else's pet and therefore the responsibility is huge if it goes wrong.

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