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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this bad parenting?

23 replies

Bombshell101 · 19/07/2022 16:26

My son who's 6 he finished school today.

I took him out of school yesterday and today as its reached 38/39 here. So I thought he would find it hard in those temps.

We stayed home all day yesterday, blinds closed and curtains. Temp in my home is 26.5 atm we are pretty uncomfortable.

Anyway today I decided to go to the cinema as it has air con and so does the mall that its inside. I was having a lovely time with my son, it was cooler than at home.

My partner calls and asks what I was up to so I say oh at the cinema and in the mall.

She called it bad parenting as he was suppose to be at school. Said it wasn't really good what I did. Said if he can go there then he can go to school. But the air con is the difference.

He was not doing any learning today, just sitting watching a film in his classroom. So I don't really see it as bad tbh.

Now I'm really upset and she's ruined my nice day with DS because I'm thinking am I a bad parent. Am I one?

OP posts:
GoT1904 · 19/07/2022 16:31

It's one day. And you made the call to remove your DS from school in the heat. You're more than entitled to do that. I don't think him missing this day at school is going to trash his education.

PuttingDownRoots · 19/07/2022 16:31

Attendance at DDs school was so low today they combined classes and still the classrooms went full (20 or so in each group out of 60).

Mine went as I didn't want to drag them around the supermarket etc.

iklboo · 19/07/2022 16:40

It's one day and he's 6 - not like he's in the middle of exams.

HauntingScream · 19/07/2022 16:44

My dc are off school today. They watched a documentary and then mostly arsed around on gadgets.
It's the end of term and they wouldn't be doing any work anyway.
So, no, I don't think a cinema trip makes you a bad parent.

Greensleeves · 19/07/2022 16:46

Is this your contact time? Do you have your DS 50/50? If so, then it's none of her business what choices you make for him as long as he's safe.

FWIW I would have done the same as you. Very sensible.

carefullycourageous · 19/07/2022 16:47

You made a call in your child's best interests. It will be fine, it is not bad parenting.

AppleKatie · 19/07/2022 16:50

yanbu, your dc was out of school because of the extreme heat. You took him somewhere cool- sounds perfect.

SouperNoodle · 19/07/2022 16:50

It's not bad parenting at all. You chose to put your child's health and comfort first. That's good parenting.
Tell your partner to wind her neck in 🙄

I kept mine off preschool today and went to a soft play area as it's cheap, keeps them entertained, has a full lunch menu and has air con.

bellinisurge · 19/07/2022 16:54

Unless you are in the habit of taking your child out of school, I think it's fine. It's nearly end of term. And I am very strict on this sort of thing

Goldbar · 19/07/2022 16:58

What's the set-up? Is she also his parent?

If not, none of her business. Even if she is, still none of her business and she sounds controlling. I would never dream of telling my DH what to do if he's in charge of our DC for the day, so long as DC is safe and fed. If you're in charge of parenting and keeping your child cool for the day, up to you how you choose to do it. Of course a cinema with AC is better than a sweltering school/house.

Don't give this headspace.

Original poster
Bombshell101 · 19/07/2022 16:59

Greensleeves · 19/07/2022 16:46

Is this your contact time? Do you have your DS 50/50? If so, then it's none of her business what choices you make for him as long as he's safe.

FWIW I would have done the same as you. Very sensible.

She's not DS mum. We are a same sex couple. Sorry should have mentioned it

OP posts:
Original poster
Bombshell101 · 19/07/2022 17:02

bellinisurge · 19/07/2022 16:54

Unless you are in the habit of taking your child out of school, I think it's fine. It's nearly end of term. And I am very strict on this sort of thing

No I never do this kind of thing. I do think school is important but I also think my DS health is important too.

I don't understand why she can't see why I've done it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bombshell101 · 19/07/2022 17:02

Goldbar · 19/07/2022 16:58

What's the set-up? Is she also his parent?

If not, none of her business. Even if she is, still none of her business and she sounds controlling. I would never dream of telling my DH what to do if he's in charge of our DC for the day, so long as DC is safe and fed. If you're in charge of parenting and keeping your child cool for the day, up to you how you choose to do it. Of course a cinema with AC is better than a sweltering school/house.

Don't give this headspace.

She is a parent and also a teacher.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 19/07/2022 17:04

I’ve had both of mine out yesterday and today.

They played in the pool and chilled out in the house. If I lived near a cinema I would have gone for the air con alone

MajorCarolDanvers · 19/07/2022 17:07

I took my 2 out of school for a week to go to the Canaries in June and I don't have an excuse of extreme weather for it.
I regard myself as an awesome parent.
Don't beat yourself up about it and hope you had a great time.

Immaterialatthispoint · 19/07/2022 17:08

I think assuming your child is otherwise in good health, you should have had them at school.

if these new highs are to continue as the science says they will, will you continue to take him out? If so, what’s your cut off temp? What’s your cut off humidity?

MajorCarolDanvers · 19/07/2022 17:09

Although if you are both parents and in a relationship its the kind of thing you would normally discuss so I get why she is cross with you

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 19/07/2022 17:10

Honestly... he's have learned nothing as teachers , in Primary, are either getting their stuff together to move to another classroom or stripping their boards ready for the new term.
They'll also be putting stickers/names on new exercise books, changing names on trays, downloading/laminating as much as possible from Twinkl.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 19/07/2022 17:12

I wouldn't have done it because I think it gives children an unrealistic picture of what will be expected of them as adults. I accept though I'm on the strict side of things re attendance.

It certainly doesn't make you a bad parent though, that was unfair of your DP to say.

Cocowatermelon · 19/07/2022 17:19

So I take it this is your son from a previous relationship and your partner is a stepmother figure? In that case it’s entirely your call.
If you are both legal parents to your son then she gets a say too. In which case her opinion should be taken into account. In either case, it’s not a big deal and it’s not a huge difference in parenting. It’s a one off case of you risk assessing slightly differently and acting accordingly.

Soubriquet · 19/07/2022 17:24

Cocowatermelon · 19/07/2022 17:19

So I take it this is your son from a previous relationship and your partner is a stepmother figure? In that case it’s entirely your call.
If you are both legal parents to your son then she gets a say too. In which case her opinion should be taken into account. In either case, it’s not a big deal and it’s not a huge difference in parenting. It’s a one off case of you risk assessing slightly differently and acting accordingly.

Or it could be a child they conceived whilst in a gay relationship

georgarina · 19/07/2022 17:24

He's 6, what's he going to miss?
Schools aren't doing work anyway, they're trying to keep kids cool.
Bit of critical thinking never hurt anyone

Cocowatermelon · 19/07/2022 17:28

Soubriquet · 19/07/2022 17:24

Or it could be a child they conceived whilst in a gay relationship

Show quote history

OP says her partner is not his mother. So I’m assuming child of a previous relationship, which may or may not have been a same sex relationship. But some same sex couples do choose different names. I know a child with a mother and an ´aunty’ as parents. That’s their personal choice of names. Hence me expressing my opinion for both scenarios.

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