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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would I be unreasonable?

72 replies

RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 11:28

To turn up on the first day of jury service with my children in tow?

I asked to be excused based on having no childcare for the duration (could be up to six weeks) and they have said no.

. I can get ad hoc childcare but nothing reliable for a long period of time (although I know some of these cases are just days long). My kids are primary aged and we are a 15 min car journey from school. No family locally.no friends locally. Partner in a medical job that won’t allow him to just take weeks off work. Could possibly get a day off here or there but nothing reliable. my mother lives a distance away and is in her 80’s, my MIL is an hour away and very ill, also in her 80’s.

I’m also due to start a new job around the time they want me to attend with a training day etc. That too is now up in the air. I have asked to defer to at least kick it down the road. Worst case scenario WIBU to just turn up with the kids in tow on the last week of the summer holidays? I honestly feel out of ideas.

OP posts:
rocksonrocks · 19/07/2022 12:09

RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:05

If DP was called up his workplace would be duty bound by law to allow him to go. Sadly that doesn’t apply when it’s me.

All employers are bound by law to allow for time off for jury service. They also cannot dismiss you if you are summoned.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:13

I agree. But he hasn’t been summoned, I have. Lord knows what’s going to happen to my job. I haven’t even signed a contract of employment yet and I’m already informing them I can’t start.

OP posts:
Hobbitfeet32 · 19/07/2022 12:16

Has your partner asked for the time off? If you could find a holiday club for the daytime hours could your partner be there for the evenings?
how about asking another parent from school to help out?
Have you asked the wraparound if there is space due to this being exceptional circumstances?

CalistoNoSolo · 19/07/2022 12:18

I'm sure I read on here that someone had got out of jury service by pretending to be a rabid right winger and therefore unsuitable as a jury member.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:19

I’ve contacted the school but no response. They shut today so I’ve no idea if I’ll get a response before September. I can reach out via Facebook to see if I can get any childminder recommendations. DP absolutely cannot get time off work. His in a medical setting where he’s propping up a lot of things that will just fall. He’d rather pay the thousand pound fine

OP posts:
DPotter · 19/07/2022 12:19

Don't be too down hearted.

Friend recently deferred jury service twice - once for business reasons (she's self employed and just coming out of covid) and second time for family illness. She contacted them explained the situation and no problem. She's now got a date for next summer. Your DH / DP will have to step up and take time off with annual leave and you should have plenty of notice for him to do this.

It's things like this that really challenge child care arrangements and make you think what would happen if you couldn't care for your children for a prolonged amount of time.

Hobbitfeet32 · 19/07/2022 12:20

What does he do in the medical setting? And has he actually requested time off and had it declined?

LIZS · 19/07/2022 12:20

RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:13

I agree. But he hasn’t been summoned, I have. Lord knows what’s going to happen to my job. I haven’t even signed a contract of employment yet and I’m already informing them I can’t start.

But if you don't yet have a date you can go ahead, unfortunate but they cannot withdraw an offer on that basis unless you delay it. You often won't get a contract to sign until the start date.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:20

CalistoNoSolo · 19/07/2022 12:18

I'm sure I read on here that someone had got out of jury service by pretending to be a rabid right winger and therefore unsuitable as a jury member.

I am kicking myself I didn’t just approach the GP as we’d recently discussed my mental health and I suspect they’d have written a letter for me as I was a total mess the last time I was there.

I could also have pretended to have rabid right wing views though 🤭

OP posts:
Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:22

LIZS · 19/07/2022 12:20

But if you don't yet have a date you can go ahead, unfortunate but they cannot withdraw an offer on that basis unless you delay it. You often won't get a contract to sign until the start date.

Show quote history

My training and start date are a few days after the trial starts. I’ve emailed them also but yet to hear back.

OP posts:
Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:22

Hobbitfeet32 · 19/07/2022 12:20

What does he do in the medical setting? And has he actually requested time off and had it declined?

He’s not prepared to. I’ve said that. He would rather pay the fine.

OP posts:
DPotter · 19/07/2022 12:26

DP absolutely cannot get time off work

My medic DP was of the same mind but the truth is they can take time off. If you really have no family / friends support how would you manage if (heaven forbid) you became seriously ill ? At least with jury service you have plenty of notice.

dammit88 · 19/07/2022 12:33

I feel for you OP. It would be better if you could defer until your children are older and this isn't an issue! And given you have already been a juror once - there are thousands of people that have never been called up (me for example ....)

Whilst its a 'civic duty' i'm not sure there is much benefit to society for your partner having to take time off work (and potentially leaving a medical setting short) when your service could just be postponed. It should be taken as a legitimate reason.

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 12:35

dammit88 · 19/07/2022 12:33

I feel for you OP. It would be better if you could defer until your children are older and this isn't an issue! And given you have already been a juror once - there are thousands of people that have never been called up (me for example ....)

Whilst its a 'civic duty' i'm not sure there is much benefit to society for your partner having to take time off work (and potentially leaving a medical setting short) when your service could just be postponed. It should be taken as a legitimate reason.

That’s honestly how I feel. I know no one else who have ever done jury service let alone been called up twice!!

OP posts:
daisymade · 19/07/2022 12:39

OP I was called for jury service last august and they wouldn’t accept my breastfeeding as a means for deferral so I took both children in with me and was excused.

RedWingBoots · 19/07/2022 12:42

daisymade · 19/07/2022 12:39

OP I was called for jury service last august and they wouldn’t accept my breastfeeding as a means for deferral so I took both children in with me and was excused.

Probably because that Court had lots of mothers "trying it on" in their opinion.

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 19/07/2022 12:45

So have you actually asked for
a deferal?

cantcomplainabouttheweather · 19/07/2022 12:45

I'm surprised by the tone of some of the responses to be honest

I thinks it outrageous they can just expect you (and your DH) to accommodate this. Childcare doesn't just magic itself Up and you're right I wouldn't be comfortable just dropping my kids anywhere on a whim

And as for the boring - your husband needs to step up comments - yawn. OP has made it clear he can't be flexible and why should he/they be - if he takes dependents leave it would be unpaid presumably and do they even cover the cost of that!

Take the kids with you - explain how childcare and see if they excuse you

scoutcat · 19/07/2022 13:00

I got called up for jury service recently and I didn't even need to turn up. I stayed at home and they called me the day before if I needed to be in. On my second day, they rang me to say it was over and I was no longer needed. Maybe yours will be that too?

quiteinfuriating · 19/07/2022 13:11

I stated financial difficulties for me and my employer and they cancelled it. I was charged out on a daily rate at the time. My employers wouldn't have been able to book me, so wouldn't have the money to pay me.
The rate paid for jury service was well below my earnings at the time and I wouldn't have been able to pay my bills.
I doubt your new employer will pay you if you're not there so. An you claim hardship?

quiteinfuriating · 19/07/2022 13:12

Before I get bashed, I'd have loved to do it. I know it's my civic duty.
But it shouldn't penalise me or my employer financially

Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 13:15

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 19/07/2022 12:45

So have you actually asked for
a deferal?

Yes I’ve asked. They’ll let me know within the next seven days.

OP posts:
Original poster
RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 13:18

I don’t mind doing it in the future. I’m a little concerned it could be a harrowing case but I suspect it won’t be.

interesting that someone has done this and been excused. If they won’t defer I will try to find childcare and if not just turn up with the kids.

OP posts:
PinkWisteria · 19/07/2022 13:26

RudsyFarmer · 19/07/2022 13:15

Yes I’ve asked. They’ll let me know within the next seven days.

Show quote history

So actually you may not have an issue at all.

NoseyNellie · 19/07/2022 13:41

I would go back to them and ask for clarification on that 9.15 am - 8.30pm hours. Start time sounds ok (Altho county court cases usually only start at 10) but how likely is it that you’ll actually have to be there past 5pm? I’m pretty sure Judges usually only sit til 4/4.30 as they have admin to do after

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