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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave my young teens with an older teen sitter overnight?

11 replies

bathsh3ba · 19/07/2022 08:35

I have 2 DDs who are just 13 and almost 15. They are used to being left for a few hours in the daytime or evening. They are both sensible girls, the almost 15yo is quite capable of cooking safely for her and her sister. We live in a large village, safe area and know all our neighbours, we have smoke and burglar alarms etc.

I'm a single parent and have to go away for at least 24, possibly 48 hours. Originally the plan was for them to stay with my parents but my parents have just tested positive for Covid and are feeling quite unwell so I need a Plan B.

I've asked a 17yo the girls know if she can help and she is willing to come and stay from 9pm to 9am in the house either one or both nights depending on if I cut my trip short. So they wouldn't be alone overnight but would still have their freedom during the day.

Would you think this was enough or do I need to send them to a friend or cancel? The girls are happy with the idea though they also think they would be ok on their own overnight and there is no chance of that!

Their dad is not a viable option.

OP posts:
ElegantlyTouched · 19/07/2022 08:37

That sounds fine. You're girls are happy, she's happy, you'll be happy you don't have to worry (so much!).

Marvellousmadness · 19/07/2022 08:37

To leave a 17yo in charge of a 13 and 15 yo

Sounds very smart.

Turnthatoff · 19/07/2022 08:40

Sounds fine to me.

MintJulia · 19/07/2022 08:41

If the 17yo is sensible then yes, I think that is reasonable.

They have the additional help of trusted neighbours if a situation arises that they cannot cope with.

Justcallmebebes · 19/07/2022 08:43

I too can see no problem with this

Minfilia · 19/07/2022 08:47

Sounds fine to me.

We first left DD overnight alone last year at 15, a month before her 16th birthday. She likes her own company and to be honest I think she was desperate to have the house to herself!

So a sensible 15 and 17 year old on hand to help with the 13 year old should be fine!

Mrsjayy · 19/07/2022 08:47

That sounds OK you found a reliable 17 year old to stay with them and I'm sure her parents are close by if she needed them.

LaurelGrove · 19/07/2022 08:54

I have a 17 year old and would have no qualms at all about her doing this if the other children were relatively sensible. She's practical, organised and calm; she'd be at least as effective as a lot of adults I know!

Teacupsandtoast · 19/07/2022 09:42

Sounds fine - let your nicest, most trusted neighbours know you are away so they are aware, but I bet the girls will love it. Leave plenty of snacks and some cash, they'll be grand!

Insidelaurashead · 19/07/2022 09:54

I would want the trusted neighbours to be aware the girls are on their own during the day, and for the girls and neighbours to have each others mobile numbers. In an ideal world I'd ask the neighbours to send a 'are you doing okay girls?' sort of text a couple of times and I'd also make it clear to the girls that if something goes wrong, something breaks etc that if they tell neighbour you will not be mad at whatever has happened but you will be if they don't ask for the help.

My neighbour left two teen boys for a weekend, I realised this when their fence was on fire. We got the hose on it and sorted it but if they'd knocked for us it wouldn't have got as bad as it did so I'd definitely want the 'no matter what, if you ask for help you will not be in trouble' message drummed in so they don't try to deal with something themselves and make it worse

mumto2teenagers · 19/07/2022 09:56

Sounds fine to me.

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