To think this was cruel?

[missbipolar]

I'll try to include as much information as possible but I apologise now if I miss anything out.

My ex husband and I had a very turbulent relationship, we got married when I was 20 after not really knowing each other that long and have 2 kids together which he is the resident parent of.

I'm currently on a MH section (as my username suggests I have bipolar)

Ex and I have a close relationship now we're not together, and talk quite often about life as well as the kids. Although out of respect for each other don't really talk about dating.

Anyway he had a date tonight which I knew about but out of protecting myself showed minimal interest. He called me after the date and proceeded to tell me all about it. And if I'm honest I'm absolutely heartbroken now.

Aibu to think this was unnecessarily cruel given the current mh situation?

Yea that’s a weird thing for him to do. It’s one thing being friendly for the kids but there should be boundaries and this should be one of them. I’m sorry he made you feel crap when you’re already struggling. What an arsehole.

I think he has presumed that you have a friendship. I don’t think he’s deliberately trying to be cruel, but it was rather insensitive.

Was it a first date? He could be trying to gently prep you for some bigger news.

Yes it was a first date. I want him to move on and be happy (despite how it may sound) but I don't need to hear all about just yet

You need to tell him, calmly, when you are less upset, how you feel, he probably doesn't realise, and needs to be told. He may even think he was reassuring you, keeping you in the picture.

I'm sorry you're hurting & im sorry you're suffering with bipolar.

it sounds like it was him being an insensitive twat, not like he did it to hurt you.

Are you sure you don't want to 'try again' with him? If you do you need to tell him & if you don't you need to tell him you know it's time to 'move on' but that it still hurts to hear about it, so can he please not tell you about it.

Although out of respect for each other don't really talk about dating.

Is that something you've discussed, or something you've assumed? Because there's nothing else in your posts to suggest he's done anything wrong other than overshare. Never put down to maliciousness that which can be explained by stupidity.

Just tell him you're not Interested in his private life.
But you also say you "have a close relationship now" Maybe you both need to step back a bit and only engage about the children for a while.

We have discussed it before after a similar situation last year, and agreed not to talk about dating.

Honestly, yes given the chance I probably would try again, but I know to much has happened now for that to happen.

He's my only family in the UK, and as such means he's involved in decisions relating to My care and I'm not sure I want him to any more.