My DM is genuinely that. I am an only child, and she has given me every ounce of love, money and opportunity she could. My Dad on the other hand, has been physically, emotionally and verbally abusive, and if I had known what coercive control was, it would have been that. He now has dementia, and is still the jealous, possessive, controlling partner and dad he always was, only it is worse, and he never remembers the next day. My mother is in bits, and the situation is getting worse as he has threatened her and the NDN with a deadly weapon. They had to call the police who took him to hospital, but they say nothing is wrong because of course he is calm and lovely to any doctors and nurses. Before they took him to hospital, she said she wouldn't have him back home and residential care was the only option. Now she is convinced it will all be fine.
I don't think I can convince her that her DH of nearly 50 years is abusive, so is there a way I can support her without traumatising myself further? I have literally put thousands of miles between us, but I feel like I am going to have to be present to help her get through this.
Would love to hear from anyone who has experience of this, as everyone I know seems to have happy, supportive families.