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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want a job rather than a career

10 replies

Hopalongnow · 18/07/2022 12:21

I literally go to work to earn money and cannot wait to finish each day to be with my kids, the pay is ok but once I am done I am done and I can forget about it, manager keeps asking me to go for promotions but I don’t want it, is it bad that I am not ambitious?

OP posts:
maxelly · 18/07/2022 12:58

I don't think it's bad to not be ambitious at all if anything I'd say we have an over-supply of ambition and an under-supply of people that just want to get work done in the UK! I def think 'our' (don't know old you are but can guess roughly from having young kids) generation, i.e. growing up in the 2nd half of the 20th century, were sold a bit of a pup in terms of expecting everyone, and especially women, to have really enjoyable and fulfilling careers alongside raising families and running households as well.

Before then it was a case for the vast majority of working really hard in fairly menial or worse jobs just to survive or being 'housewives' when running a house single-handed really was a more than full-time endeavor and physically really hard work, to my grandmothers or great-grandmothers (some of whom did work, one was a secretary, one a nursery-maid, one worked in a factory fairly typical for middle or working class women of their time), the idea of having a 'career' with personal development and real fulfillment from work would have been fairly laughable (and this is still the case for many in the world today I would add). Then you had the privileged few who didn't work at all including housework or raising children as servants did that, which was the ultimate ambition at the time I guess. Whereas today the expectation is that nearly everyone even the wealthy work, the majority not in manual labour or service industries and enjoying a far higher standard of living than their ancestors, so we are in a way very, very lucky and yet I think many people feel at least bored or vaguely dissatisfied with their work and are always striving or feeling they ought to be doing more - if you've found the trick to earning a good living, being able to spend time with your children and don't find your job insufferable then I'd say you've found the golden egg TBH!

I guess don't write off the possibility of developing more of a 'career' in either your current job or maybe something else entirely later on, the young-children years feel endless at the time but they do grow up and come to occupy less of your head-space and actual time/energy, and once the childcare burden is lifted there can be a bit more financial breathing room too, you might find in your 50s or even later a job that's more of a passion for you, or you might not and find fulfillment in a hobby or volunteering or just having lots of time to yourself, all are good really!

Princessoftheuniverse · 18/07/2022 13:26

I was a teacher which most people would say is a career but I never wanted to progress beyond that. I always thought I did enough work in my own time without adding to it. I don't blame you at all.

chiffchaffchiff · 18/07/2022 13:48

I'm the same and I don't have children. My job pays the bills, that's all I need it to do. The rest of my life is the fulfilling part.

Hopalongnow · 18/07/2022 13:49

So good to hear I am not the only one, thought I was an alien, my life outside my work is my priority too.

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 18/07/2022 13:54

But don't you know you should be earning 30K at 30, 40K at 40, 50K at... etc. Don't you want more for yourself? Your degree was a waste! 🙄 😆

Just joking, but I've been told the above on here.

I love working a job that doesn't require a great deal of headspace and responsibility. If you have enough to live to life you want then that is all that matters.

TimBoothseyes · 18/07/2022 14:14

I'm the same. I have just turned down a promotion as I don't want the extra hassle or work the hours that comes with it. I'm quite happy working 6 - 1.30 Mon-Fri and the money I get is enough for me to live on + a bit extra to spare. It might not be everyone's idea of "happy" but it works for me.

Andromachehadabadday · 18/07/2022 14:26

Nothing wrong with it. I don’t even know if mine is a job or a career. It’s career type and I progress, had 2 promotions in 3 years. but life outside work is far more important. I work to live. Not live to work. I work to earn money and that’s it.

theres occasions I work late, but I always take that back. Take an odd call on a weekend but only if it suits. It was dds 18th last week and we went away and my work phone was turned off.

GCHeretic · 18/07/2022 14:47

As long as you are able to provide for your family, save for an emergency, and are not on any income-related benefits then how you organise your life is up to you.

Sarah8719 · 18/07/2022 14:58

I prefer being paid the most amount of money I can get, for the least amount of responsibility- I don’t do promotions, my time is more valuable to me.
I work to live, I’m not bothered about my job at all

Hlglu56 · 18/07/2022 15:30

I’m the same. My husband’s family are pressuring me to go for a career- follow his sister into social work or go into teaching but I am happy as I am. I have a flexible job, can take my children to any appointments etc, never feel worried going into work and never have any work worries to take home plus I love my managers and colleagues.

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