To worry about DD's lack of stamina?

[MaybeIWillFuckOffThen]

All my friends talk about being worn out by their 5yo's boundless energy. But my DD is really ... Well physically quite lazy. She never wants to go out, complains if she has to walk more than 15 minutes or so, doesn't really run about.

She has as varied and healthy a diet as we can manage given she's quite fussy, including meat, fish and eggs for protein. She takes a multi vitamin daily. She's a healthy weight and quite tall. She's very bright and imaginative and has endless enthusiasm for made up games and "pretending", and also crafting related to her pretends - so it's not like she's given to general lassitude. She just can't be arsed to move herself much and becomes quite tearful and whingy when she's forced to, for example, walk half an hour into town.

We've just had a week on holiday with lots of day trips and every day has included her breaking down after a very little time on the move crying that she wants to go back to the holiday home. Once there she's perfectly happy pottering about and playing with toys.

Is this just a variation of normal?

Thanks so much for all the comments, largely helpful and taking it in!

Interested in possible medical cause - she seems so fit and healthy, bar the walking hatred. But she does often say her legs or feet hurt (guilty to say I assumed she was trying it on), is VERY fussy about her footwear (at the moment she will ONLY wear her school shoes and cries when I ask her to give them a rest/ when it's Welly weather etc), and not regularly but several times a year wakes in the night crying with leg pains (again assumed growing pains and brushed it off). She like me has wide flat fit (G fit in Clarks infant), runs in the family. Is EDS autoimmune? My mum had Crohn's so always on the watch for any symptoms in the girls as that can be hereditary. But other AI conditions also worth considering.

And yes caught, I'm not at all active and happy to sit around - but I've always had a rule we have to get the kids out for fresh air for an hour or so every day of the weekend and days off rain or shine. We have no kind of garden - very tiny yard, though I've tried to make it kid friendly with a sand tray, small sports trampoline, music wall etc it doesn't get much use - we walk to the big lovely park about 15 mins away, the playground about 5 mins away or jump in the car and drive to a country park or something. Or go to the allotment. But on school days I leave her be as she's usually shattered - we pop to the playground for 30 mins to an hour then she goes home and potters until bedtime. Looking at it it just isn't enough, and part of that is I haven't pushed back enough on her desire to do not 😬

Just to be clear I don't take her to town to drag her round the shops!! Kids hate that (so do I come to that!). We rarely go but when we do it's for an activity for her like a fun day at one of the museums, a birthday party (like last week where she moaned so much on the way there we got the bus back!), a visit to the trampoline park (which she does love). One of the reasons we chose our house is because it's in a nice bit of the city but an easy walk across the park to the centre of town - but she just hates it!

Hmm op I think the footwear combined with night pain even if it is occasionally and saying it hurts when she walks would spur me to have that checked.

How is her gait and balance?

Don't really know how I'd assess a gait, although I do now I think of it ask her why she's walking funny 🤦🏻‍♀️ oh god I've dropped the ball on this one haven't it? Her balance is ok but not great - still likes her hand held on little toddler obstacle courses etc at the playground. Again I thought this was a confidence thing as she's very risk averse. Oh dear.

I think I'll try and get her seen by a physio as suggested. No point trying GP as if she's not actually dying before their eyes our GP will do absolutely buggerall.

Thanks again all for the sense check, I can see now that a lot of things I sort of noticed but didn't put together do seem to be pointing to some sort of issue.

My oldest is like this - just not a big walker really. She loves swimming though, and climbing. I think you just have to try out lots of sports to find one you like. Most people have something they can get into.

also would she scoot rather than walking?

Echoing the hypermobility suggestions - I remember being treated like I was lazy as a child when actually legs were in constant pain - in which case swimming is a good exercise to get into. I don't feel the same levels of pain at all while floating.

She had a scooter, she always used to ride it for a bit then I'd have to carry it 🤦🏻‍♀️ got her a bike thinking that might suit her better but she just won't ride it, really seems to struggle to turn the pedals even on the flat and with stabilisers. Can't build up any speed.

EDS isn't autoimmune, but it is very common for people with connective tissue diseases to also have autoimmune ones.

School shoes tend to be more supportive, compared to wellies. If you walked behind her, you might see her ankles dropping in because she's unable to keep her legs 'straight on her feet', or wobbling outwards, which hugely increases the risk of repeated nasty sprains. Trying to compensate for this uses up a huge amount of physical effort and hurts a hell of a lot. if you check the soles of her school shoes, you could also find significant wear patterns on the inside showing the additional pressure on one side.

Custom orthotics can be a revelation - in all my life, I have never been so comfortable as now I have two sets - it takes away the almost constant pain from walking in my feet, ankles, shins, as a child, in my knees and as an adult, in my hip and back (going to the gym to strengthen the muscles has also helped hugely, but it wouldn't do a thing without the orthotics). They also show the difference they make in the wear on my shoes - nowadays, the wear is evenly over the fore-midfoot, rather than on one side.

We have similar in DD who is 8. Loves sports where her friends are there but I think she just gets bored walking and whinges like Billyo. As PP said, I Spy or alphabet games etc are a distraction and reduce the moaning considerably.

She reminds me of my ds1. Bitter tearful moaning whenever we asked him to go for a walk, he ruined endless family outings with his whingeing. He was on the low end of normal when he was assessed for dyspraxia - he was good at the gross motor stuff (ball catching, jumping etc) but poorer at the fine motor stuff. He's fine now, goes off for runs and walks daily (don't think he would if not for the current obsession with body image among young people). He still doesn't move his body for fun, but then neither do I.

There's a huge variety of normal & it takes all sorts to make up this world. Maybe your daughter doesn't enjoy walking & being outdoors. That's ok, as long as she can do these things. It would be helpful for her to have some physical activity she enjoys, maybe dance etc of she doesn't like sport. Otherwise just keep on keeping on I think.

Found an image of ankles

www.facebook.com/EhlersDanlosUK/photos/a.230651766986895/1569496149769110/?type=3

And if you see her back, she might be winging her shoulder blades out or sitting weird on the sofa/slumping rather than sitting up nicely. Her pelvis could be tilted back so there's a very pronounced curve in the lower spine. She might find it difficult to use a knife and fork together or spill drinks frequently.

The bike thing sounds familiar; it requires a lot of ankle and lower leg strength to get moving, especially when the body's already working so hard to hold her balanced and it shifts her bodyweight. Needing stabilisers can also be a clue, as she could have poor propriorception (awareness of where her body is in space).

It's hugely underdiagnosed, as are many autoimmune and connective tissue diseases. But identifying it early and adapting/accommodating and strengthening (back to swimming again!) will really help her.

I don't really think a 5 year old should be walking for half an hour in this heat!

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Oh my god. All these things!! She won't use knife and fork at all unless pressured, I still mostly cut her food for her 😬 has her water bottle at the table because of how often she knocks cups over. Can't sit still on a dining chair, always hopping up and down or sitting on her knees or cross-legged. She's got a pigeon chest as well - got that looked at by doctor but they said it was nothing to worry about - could that have any relevance?? Sorry to treat you like a public info resource...

Check her back. Pectus carinatum can also be associated with scoliosis - like I mentioned shoulder blades sticking out like little wings. Is her waist more pronounced on one side than the other or her hip appears slightly higher?

GPs can be terrible at noticing these things or realising their potential significance.

(I don't mind the questions at all, by the way!)

One of my kids is like this. He can chill for England! Very imaginative. Only runs to chase his big brother. Just a chilled dude.

Eldest on the other hand literally never ever sits still, even in his sleep, and it is utterly draining!

My 5 yo is very like this so I've thanked my lucky stars for the built-in buggy bar often.
Strangely though, she's started doing Parkrun and has really taken to it. It's like 'official' exercise is acceptable but walking the length of herself is not.

two things to do......use water or paint on the soles of her feet then stand on paper so you'll be able to see how much of an arch she has, and possibly where she puts the most pressure on her feet.
Also video her on your phone (you might need to lie on your front to get a good view of her legs and feet) walking in bare feet both towards and away from you and you might be able to spot if she roles her feet or knees inwards or outwards (over pronating / under pronating) when she walks.
I have flat feet and had sore knees for years before I got orthotics made by a podiatrist and I'm really particular about wearing shoes with good support in them, which is possibly why she favours her school shoes.

Dd was like this and got diagnosed with EDS, fibromyalgia,coeliac disease (so anaemic and knackered). Might be worth getting her checked over. Saying that we were fobbed off for six years before they did anything

30 mins in the playground after school and an hour exercise on other days sounds a lot more than nothing OP.

You have had more detailed advice on shoes but as a quick starter we avoid Skechers with DD. They are soft and comfy so seem an obvious "go to" if they are sensitive to shoes, but the give is exactly the wrong thing for some children. She has off the shelf orthotics in her PE trainers and she wears DMs outside school.

My DD is just 6 and is the same. Only difference is that she’s an extrovert and will also play in a playground if she seems one. But otherwise doesn’t like moving much and getting her to walk places is a real hassle.

She’s also getting to be a bit overweight which I’m very worried about.

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen The other thing I meant to suggest is asking her if she can, for example, touch her thumbs to her wrists? Can she do anything else a bit freaky with her joints?

Op you haven’t dropped the ball, you sound really lovely and these things are hard even consultants missed our cousin’s condition until a dna test and specialist in some far flung place identified it. Don’t feel bad. Physio sounds like a good plan and maybe make a list like you have here. All the best to you and your daughter! 😊

My daughter has a convex chest bone
I think it's all related somehow
I think she needs a referral to a paediatrician, heart problems can also be part of connective tissue disorders, we only found out that part when she had an echo because of chest pains