Was I being too overprotective

[lollipoprainbow]

Took my dd 10 and her friend to the beach today and they wanted to go in the sea. My dd is autistic and only has basic swimming skills while her friend is six months older and a very competent swimmer. The tide was in when we got there and the girls were happy paddling and sitting on the edge of the water then as the tide started to go out they got a bit bolder and went out a bit further. The waves were quite choppy as there was quite a sea breeze. My dd and her friend were having a good time catching the waves but I felt they were going out a bit far. Cue me screeching like a banshee at them to come back !! My dd said I ruined her afternoon as she was having so much fun. Was I being mean ?

Well if she'd listened the first time then you wouldn't have needed to scream like a banshee

I'd have told her that while making her sit on the beach for a bit after she ignored and shouted at you

I think you did the right thing to be honest. Screeching like a banshee? I’d rather my kid was embarrassed and furious than dead.
The sea is very under respected (in so many ways), I’m not a strong swimmer and even though my kids are, there are some situations which can’t be outswum no matter how good a swimmer you are. I always get a bit nervous about them when they’re all in the sea. Dh lost 2 friends when they were about 17 and all piled in a car and went down the beach one evening. Absolutely tragic, they were all out having fun catching the waves until some kind of hidden riptide snatched them. Totally horrendous.
I’m a very chilled out parent in general but I think I would have been the same as you. Anyway, no harm done, perhaps a firm discussion if you go again about respecting your boundaries and instructions and if she doesn’t agree then she doesn’t go.

Thanks all, I definitely did the right thing making them get out. My dd has since apologized for not listening (her older friend tends to encourage her to do things she's not keen on).

I wouldn’t be letting any child (with strong or only basic swimming skills in the sea), unless with an adult who is a strong swimmer and used to the sea, and has knowledge of the tides in that area. Too many people underestimate the sea and get swept out and so many people aren’t aware of riptides.

I tried to go on in but my dd shouted at me to go back as I was embarrassing her. was she embarrassed or was it her friend?

Rather embarrassed than dead. You did the right thing 100%.

Quite.

OP, your daughter won't die from embarrassment. It's easy for people to have all these smart answers with the benefit of not being in the moment. We've all panicked at times, but you kept your daughter and her friend safe and they'd what's most important. You can figure out a strategy for next time and maybe next time, your daughter will be more inclined to listen to you.

FWIW, I'm always cautious about the sea and I don't think you over reacted.