To be annoyed at DH family trying to force children to eat?

[Ninahhh]

(Dcs are preschool and not talking fluently) DH gets really obsessive about the kids having an ice cream on a day out. Against my wishes one of their first foods was ice cream.

What often happens is the kids aren’t really interested but then DH/PIL get in their face with ice cream until they get fed up and cry.

WHY do people do this?

Seems so bizarre to force an ice cream on a child! They will end up hating ice cream if he continues with it. Is he trying to get a picture of them? Does he think having some ice cream means they are having a nice time?
Surely he should realise if they are not hungry or not interested then he should leave them
be! Have you told him and pil that the children don’t like it being forced upon them?

It sounds like they're more invested in their own idea/memories of what constitutes a 'proper' day out, or 'making memories' than they are in taking notice of what benefits their actual child or what their child enjoys. Nothing wrong with the odd ice cream, but pushing it on them when they're not bothered is stupid!

Because they’re more interested in their own vicarious joy than that of the actual children involved and/or they want to put pictures on instagram. Or was he never allowed ice cream on a day out as a child and is trying to make up for it?!

People don’t do this, twatty dhs do this. Tell him to piss off and don’t take him on future days out

My in laws do this too. Despite the fact that my DS does not like ice cream at all. Their whole grandparenting is about 'making memories' whether or not my DS is interested or not.

Ah I get this. Mine are 4 and 2 and not that keen on ice-cream and it does make me a bit wistful at times tbh. It's a thing in summer isn't it, a nice treat on a walk or a day out.

Your DH and PIL shouldn't be forcing the issue, obviously, but I do often joke that I've put more work into getting my kids to like ice-cream than vegetables. Actually, they eat a decent diet so it's probably not far off the truth

I think you need to tell them to back off and stop bullying the children. Call it out for what it is.

YANBU

That is very controlling behaviour. Maybe point out to him how creepy that behaviour looks - ie. What kind of adult wants total control over what goes into their kids mouth? You need to show your kids how to be assertive and shut that behaviour down. Maybe see how he likes having ice cream shoved in his face?

Sorry, but this is so, so weird.