To change my name via deed poll?

[DriftGames]

So H left me 16 months ago. Wants me back but it's never happening, I've come to terms with it and am happy, just me and DD(2). He full well knows I want a divorce, but he won't agree it. So even with the new no blame divorce, I can't get one as he doesn't want the divorce so won't sign. I've obviously asked this but it's a straight no. I've been asking this since the day we split. I've said I'll pay etc but no.

Anyway, I want to go back to my maiden name. Him and his family are all narcissists and I'd sooner take my maiden name back than have any association with them. My problem is that my daughter has his surname (he is DD's dad but chooses to only see her once a fortnight and no more) and so I'm hesitant to change mine back via deed poll as I'd like to share a surname.

The problem is what his name means to me is totally different to what it means to DD. Unless he does a runner, he will always be her dad and so she will have that connection whereas for me it just reminds me of what a horrible marriage we had. I'm only 27 and so would like to think I'll marry again and so part of me thinks to change my name via deed poll now as when I hopefully re marry in the future, I won't have the same name as DD then anyway.. I've thought about double barrelling but the names don't work together at all and he wouldn't agree it anyway.

What would you do and why?
Keep the name as a connection with DD
OR
Change via deed poll and have a different surname to DD

I reverted to my maiden name and don't regret it for one moment.
My little DC and I now have different surnames, but it hasn't been an issue so far.
X

I changed my name by deed poll long before I finally managed to get divorced.
I've never regretted it.

You can divorce without his agreement. You can make a sole application. It no fault so nothing to contest.
Aa for your name, change it. Like you said, it means something totally different to you.

I changed my name to that of my great grandmother. I'm very pleased I did.

My children always had a different surname to me and it never mattered. Did get called the wrong name sometimes at school but didn't care that much

@Yesmate I thought no fault meant you both still had to agree to the divorce?

Thank you everyone, that's really helped me toward a decision. I just don't want any personal connection to him and I miss being known as my old name anyway as I'm very close to my family. I'll mull it over a little while longer but I'm probably going to do it!

Can anyone tell me if I need to send my marriage certificate as the government website suggests even though there's no divorce proceedings?

I didn't send my marriage certificate off to change my name. I did have to send it in when I finally got divorced though

You can apply for the conditional order as a sole applicant. I would contact a solicitors for a 30 minute free consultation. There are plenty in my area that offer that so would assume the same where you are. Good luck.

Yes this. He can’t stop you divorcing him.

Echoing above.
He cannot stop you divorcing him.
All the steps are here: www.gov.uk/get-a-divorce

Wow, i had no idea! Even after researching, I've never come across this information before so I was unaware that I could apply on my own and that he had to give a legal reason for any dispute. Thanks so much everyone.

I reverted to my maiden name after divorce. There was no way I would have kept ex husband's name even though I preferred it to mine! I bit the bullet over having a different second name to my children. It's not unusual these days with more unmarried parents. I actually get infuriated when women take their husband's name, I thought it was a legal requirement but of course it isn't. Why do so many women just let their babies take husband's or partner's name? When the split happens they're left with a child with a different name to theirs. I prefer the Spanish naming system.