Is this friendship over?

[MeeraMis]

Hi,

Not sure if this is in the right place but I am new here so apologies! Will keep this as short as possible. Been friends with someone for around 9 years. Definitely became my best friend, she is super sociable and I am sort of the opposite. She also has anothrt best friend and many good different close friends.

She got together with someone and I noticed that after they had met she wasnt making as much time for our friendship. I get this because its a new addition but I mean we went from going out a few times a week to not going out for a few weeks. We went from msging regularly to me waiting ages for a response from her. I bought this up and her response was she still feels I am her best friend but the actions i think dont show?

She got married and I had no involvement, (she was involved in every aspect of mine) I didnt know she had chosen a dress til after, I wasnt at her engagement, I only met the husband twice in the whole 2 years they had been together before wedding, basically 0 involvement in anything. I feel there is no point bringing this all up again because the effort is just not there. I have a baby and she hasnt seen him for months which I dont think a best friend is supposed to do. Do I just end this frienship and not bother?

You sound lovely, she isn’t your friend.

I think friendships change. You don’t need to send her a message saying you aren’t friends anymore, but equally it’s obvious she is in a different place. No reason the friendship would be rekindled at some point.

I'm sorry but I would let it drift off into the distance. She isn't the friend she used to be, it happens to us all at some point.

She’s no longer interested in maintaining a friendship with you sorry. I would just stop making the effort to contact her and let the friendship drift away.

There is no point bringing it all up. She has backed away from your friendship and doesn’t make time for you in the way that you want.
You need to decide if you are willing to be ‘one of her friends’ or would prefer to end the friendship completely.

The issue is that she is your best friend but you are not hers. She seems to have a wide circle of friends who she may be close to. If you are the opposite of her, she probably thinks you won't be comfortable in big social roles.

The most charitable interpretation here is that you're drifting apart. You don't have to end things in an overt bridge burning way but I'd be investing time and effort in other people.

Let her go, she's let go of you.

yeah I can relate
i had a friend like that who found someone she preferred and I think, maybe saw me as a bit of an inconvenience
it took me way too long to get the message but now I pretty much ignore every attempt at contact
in fact I think she only contacts me because she’s confused why I essentially blank her.

Thanks everyone, yes she has a big circle and I'm more selective with friends, and even before when she had this big circle we were so close but clearly she not bothered anymore, I think you all confirmed what I already knew so that helps, (and I have only shared a small part of it) x