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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stress about how much screen DS11 seems to want?

1 reply

Theheartisalonelyhunter · 17/07/2022 10:17

I imagine we're quite strict about the amount of screen time DS has - we've always put a daily time on it, but have tried to grow that time in line with age.

I feel like he gets enough but he will drive us MAD for more. He has a v wilful personality He doesn't seem to know how to amuse himself without or else it will take him hours of moping around before he finally lands on something like drawing.

He's got a friend here for a sleepver. They watched a film, did lots of gaming, messed around, went to bed at 11. Got up at 7 and did another 2.5 hours. After that, I said screen away and he was immediately really really combative about it.

I want a life where we find a balance - I don't want to be constantly on him. I realise that his world and the place screen plays is different to when I was young. I accept all of that. But equally, if I didn't have boundaries, he would honestly be on it all the time.

The summer holidays loom. How do I find that balance in an effective way? And please, before you all tell me about your incredibly compliant children always accepting your decisions and you're the boss etc - he's very aware we are the parents, but he has a very articulate, assertive personality and unless you parent a wilful child, you don't realise what 'war of attrition' really means...

OP posts:
maskersanonymous · 17/07/2022 10:23

We have one similar: PDA traits, very bright and assertive and have a similar challenge. Our solution was for him to 'buy in' to restrictions rather than us put strict limits on (this really didn't work....). We talked about health, all the things he was missing by gaming, how it affected his behaviour and mental health if he gamed too much. I also showed him guidance from his school, evidence from academics, doctors etc. so it wasn't me who was the 'bad guy'. He agreed to an hour a day, two on Fri and Sat, none on Sunday (film instead). Occasionally he has a bit more if travelling etc. but I really don't want those limits to slide. I also have various ways of managing the limits automatically (NetNanny, limits on the WIFI box, Microsoft controls) so again it takes me out of the role of telling him to stop etc.

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