I regret my kid

[Ticktockbigclock]

I know ill get a pile on of what a cunt I am but i wish I'd never had a kid. I want my freedom. I want a life. I was I was infertile. I hate it.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like that.
Do you have support and how old is your child?

How old is child?

How old is your child?

4.5. I'd all the moaning at this age.

I’m sorry you feel like that.

what in particular are you struggling with?

I understand
But dd was the first person ti give me unconditional love.
From that moment onwards I learnt to love myself.
And there comes a point - my me it was about a year in when they become this amazing bundle of of positive energy that you can only dream of.
Hang on there OP.

OP, please speak to your GP, Health Visitor about how you’re feeling.

I have a friend. Who regretted having a child. She didn’t regret the child himself. She loves him more than anything, but I think she regretted having him at the stage in her life that she did. She was early 20’s. Everyone else was off having holidays, nights out etc, whilst she was looking after a baby.

You probably won’t be alone in feeling like you do. It’s totally valid to miss your freedom - but we need to know you and your child are safe. That you love your child and they are well cared for. If not, please speak to someone ASAP.

It's the moaning and whining. I love him but I'm.not maternal so it'd hard.

I’m really sorry you’re feeling like that. Do you have a good support network that you can confide it and can help you?
please speak to your health visitor and/or a gp to get some support.

Please remember that you are not alone in this and there will be others who feel like this. Parenting is tough, days can be difficult and it really is the hardest job. Missing your old life doesn’t mean you don’t love your child.

I think you're being far too hard on yourself. I wonder if you're comparing yourself against the perception you have of other mums, which is probably wrong. Is this true?

I'm sorry you feel like this.
Its hard to give advice when you haven't said if there are specific reasons why you feel as you do.

I don't know if it will help to say I can easily see why you reflect on your life before you had a child and see in hindsight that you were better off financially and timewise. I'm not going to BS you and say it gets better when they get older. Its just different and you can see the good times as well as the bad times whereas right now you can only see the bad times.

Do you have any support? I don't and when I come out of my lowest moments, I can see that is the biggest problem. I think if you are a SAHM (which I was), again in hindsight, its better to keep working and hand the child over to someone else for a large proportion of the week so you feel more like yourself even if your 'free' time is while you are being paid to work.

I'm sorry you are at this stage. I've been there and still am at times and my youngest is now in Y2.

I think a chat with your GP might help too.

You’re not the first person to feel like this, and you won’t be the last…

Do you get any support OP? Is he starting school in Sept?

A lot of mothers aren’t maternal. & a lot of young kids moan and whinge - it’s totally understandable how you are feeling.

Are you a single parent OP? Do you have support? As it sounds like you need a bit of a break. You need a little time to do things for you! A spa weekend, a night out with the girls. Do you get much time alone or with friends without DS?

Let out all your feelings here. These feelings won’t last forever xx

I think a lot of mums myself included will see this and remember when they felt the same .

If it is just the moaning and the whining, this may be resolved with a bit of advice from the Super Nanny books or videos. It is not that kids are moaning or whining by nature, all of them would be if allowed to.

We spent some short time reminding DS to use his nice voice when he was doing it but also explaining why we were not going to change anything as a result of the moaning or whining. For example, if he started moaning that he didn’t want to be in the super market, I agreed with him, I said I felt the same but we needed to do it even when we didn’t like it as we were getting the food we eat.

knowing why things are as they are or cannot be changed certainly helps them to stop. And also, talk nicely to your kid, if you are polite and considerate but firm on how you communicate with them, they do mirror the behaviour.

Hold in there, it gets better, honestly.

What in particular is he whineing about?

My DS was a little demon who didn't want to eat , there were always far more interesting things going on.
One day , after Boxing Day , we were this close >< loosing the plot (we'd had a lovely Christmas , my parents were there , his baby sister }.
He was squeaky , arguementative , unreasonable .
He was hungry . He wolfed down pizza and orange juice . Instantly back to My Little Boy
But he'd never had said "I'm hungry"

They can try the patience of a saint !