I met DP's friends on a night out at the end of February for the first time, and met one of his friends (let's call him Tom) girlfriend (let's call her Jane) who he said I'd get on with.
First impression, she was absolutely lovely but quite dramatic. Quite a lot of drama going on between Jane and Tom's ex. There was even a physical altercation between the two on the night I met them.
After that night, she would message me non stop for a good 2 weeks telling me what happened in the aftermath and what was going on. She was extremely friendly, but quite boisterous (I'm not sure how else to describe her, she's very well known in our city and she's very extremely outspoken/doesn't care). I've heard Jane & Tom have blocked a lot of Tom's friends out of the blue because they are associated with Tom's ex, which I don't think is fair as one of them is his friend of several years. His friends woke up to find they were blocked and removed completely weeks after the physical altercation, so it's clearly been something they've thought about later on.
We arranged a double date (her suggestion), we said a day but not a place or time. I asked her when and where, and she didn't reply but was active on social media. I messaged her on the day of double date to say we unfortunately had to cancel on as DP started his new job and was unable to get away. She told me they had paid a deposit and would see what they could do, which DP & I offered to pay as it was our fault for cancelling. However, I didn't think it was going ahead as when we confirmed a day and I asked where and when, I didn't have a reply until that day when I cancelled. I told her to let me know what the restaurant said - she never got back to me and read the message. I had to get DP to text Tom who didn't mind in the slightest and was super fine about it.
A few weeks later, DP & I were on holiday and she messaged me on Instagram to say the photos were beautiful. We had on/off messaging, I try to make the effort as she's the only one of DP's friends I have on social media (he doesn't have it) so I always like to go above and beyond for anyone he's friends with. We moved overseas shortly after and I don't know what it is, I always tried to stay in touch to keep the friendship going. Since moving overseas, I've felt very stuck in our own little bubble and very secluded from everyone else. However, I'd message her and she wouldn't reply. Or she would reply days later. She even messaged me on LinkedIn as she is a recruiter, and I sent her the screenshot asking if she knew it was me (I mean how couldn't she?! It's my name and photo!) and she legitimately starting trying to pitch a job to me - like I said, I moved overseas and I obviously don't want to work in the city we are from. It was absolutely bizarre.
This was 8 weeks ago and never heard anything since, when I told her I had a really good arrangement with my work, she left it on read. She's never reached out again. Tom has messaged my DP a week after this conversation about other things unrelated. But I always feel like I've maybe said or done something wrong..
Tom followed me on instagram about a month ago, and sent me a response to a story I put up about my DP, but that was it. Very short and dry. It was his birthday, I told DP he should say happy birthday, he never did and seemed quite annoyed at my suggestion.
We also visited home, we didn't tell them we were coming as it was a last minute funeral and DP said maybe we should have, but I also feel like maybe if they seen on social media we were home, they could have messaged? I'm not a fan of messaging someone if I've been left on read.
AIBU? Is it maybe she's just not speaking as much as I've moved away? I know it's not that deep as we have only met once, but it's because it's the only link I have to DP on my social media, I am so hyper vigilant of what I'm saying and posting as I feel like all eyes are on me. For example, Jane and Tom post photos together constantly. My DP doesn't have social media and never wants photos taken as he's gained weight, so it's just photos of me. I know this is very silly, but it's been weighing on my mind a lot.