To be worried it looked like ds was being racist

[Ntsure]

My ds is 9 and autistic, he got a magazine to read whilst waiting did his little brothers football class and it came with a minecraft banana/scarf/face mask sleeve thing.
There is a little boy in my younger sons football class who wears a patka

Ds put the bandana on his head tied up In a knot and then loudly laughing and shouting "look! Look! Hahahahaaaa" (because he was excited that he'd put it on)
I just told him go take it off and put it in his bag.
I'm so worried it looked like he was making fun of this little boy (he 100% wasn't, he was just trying to put the bandana on) the boys dad was right next to us and now I'm so worried he think my son was making fun of his little boy or that were awful racists or something.
I don't know if I'm over thinking this or if that is what it looked like but I'm horrified at the idea

Don't beat yourself up about it, just use it as an opportunity to talk to your ds (in a way appropriate to his understanding) about differences and how all of us need to take care in what we say and do because certain words and actions cause offence to others

Forgive me if I'm being ignorant but I think if he can understand to tie a knot in something so it doesn't fall down without consultation he can be expected to understand the very basics of why that might be seen as socially acceptable, if you had the conversation with him.

Maybe I'm wrong and he can understand logic but not social communication but I don't think it'd hurt to try and talk him through it.

The world's gone mad.

And racist.

He can understand that he knows and understands about racism, sexism, homophobia etc we talk about those things a lot, but he wouldn't understand how what he did could be seen as rude/offensive because he didn't intend it to be he'd really struggle to see his actions as anything other than what he intended, he has adhd also so it's all a lot to process in the moment iyswim- he'd had to of taken notice of who was around him, kept that in mind whilst also taking notice of how his actions could be perceived (he'd really struggle with this one) and put it all together to see the wider context. It's hard to explain but he just doesn't "get" things like that and he is also very impulsive.
i did speak to him about it obviously and that it's important to be mindful but I'm not sure he quite got it.

@Ntsure no that makes perfect sense now you've explained it in that way

So in this entirely fictitious scenario, the "dad" or "little boy" said or did nothing to suggest he was in anyway offended and, like the vast majority of the population, had it been real, saw only a little boy, excited by a free magazine gift.. (oh, but lets make it Minecraft and the boy autistic just to maximise any other potential offence angle). Good grief, why does no-one see through these posts

I old be so relieved if this was a fake post,, otherwise the world is so utterly depressing.well the UK anyway, outside of middle class MN people.dont think about this shit.

It could just have very easily been taken as him mocking the little boy, it could easily have been perceived like that because he tied it in a way almost identical to the boys and from the very loud laughing and shouting "look!" I'm just clearly not good at explaining my point in writing.

i do have a jab if of massively
o rethinking situations, but I'm not middle class in the slightest, I don't think it's unusual to worry about upsetting/offending people? We live in a very diverse part of town but unfortunately there is a lot of racism around where I live. I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or anything basically

Idk why people are being so rude. OP was looking for some reassurance. One person literally shouted OH FOR FUCKS SAKE - I mean, seriously, how does that even come close to being considered an appropriate response? I hope you're just a keyboard warrior and don't shout at people in 'real life.'

OP I think it probably comes across as a bigger deal to you than it actually was. If he was perceived as racist, I wouldn't worry. You know what the intent was and you're obviously trying to raise a tolerant child.

Well good for you both but to be honest, attach a label of it makes you feel better but I can assure you now the silent majority no longer care.

Call us what ever you like it does not matter any more the more you call it the more it becomes watered down and people stop caring. The boy who crowd wolf springs to mind, your only does Ng real rasism a disservice, you sad little labels are becoming normalised.

Sikhism is a religion not a race.

🙄🙄🙄

Even if the dad thought your DS was copying his son it doesn't necessarily mean he would think he was mocking him. It sounds like it might have been quite obvious that he was just excited to have the bandana on his head. It must be tough navigating all these situations that arise with your son but I wouldn't worry about this one personally.