Posting here for traffic.
Was in a relationship with my ex for a short period before I accidentally fell pregnant despite being on the pill. I met him online and I had only known him 2 months at the time.
To cut a long story short he abused me throughout our relationship (in every way apart from physically, other than pushing me a number of times) and when I left the relationship ( when our baby was 6 months old) I reported him to the police and found out he had previous convictions for domestic abuse and stalking. His ex actually had an interdict in place and she still had to move as he kept showing up at her house and threatening to physically hurt her.
The police have now also charged him with domestic abuse to me and he plead not guilty and we are going to trial soon. (There are also bail conditions in place currently so he can’t contact me, or approach me etc)
A lot of exes behaviour when we were together made me think he may have a drug problem (disappearing frequently and stealing large amounts of money from me to name a few) and I found a couple tiny empty plastic bags in his wallet and when I confronted him he became very angry and somehow managed to turn it around on me make me feel bad for having suspected he had taken drugs.
ex has applied to court to see our baby. He wants weekends and half the holidays. Ex was terrible with baby and did nothing for him. He only abused me infront of our baby numerous times causing him to become extremely distressed.
At the moment Family court has ordered no contact until a report is done over the coming weeks. Despite exes family witnessing his abuse to me and how much it upset our baby they have sided with him and are speaking to the reporter on his side. He also has a friend who has met me and my child briefly twice who is speaking to the reporter for him. I assume they are all going to try and say they have witnessed what a great dad ex is and I am a liar etc.
I worry as ex’s parents are very successful and well spoken and they have a lot of money and this reporter is going to speak to them in their huge beautiful home and I worry they might be fooled by them as they come across as nice people initially.
On my side I have a relative of mine who witnessed the abuse of me infront of my child who is going to speak to the reporter.
Now.. this is where I have a serious problem...
when I was with my ex he mentioned his ex a number of times and actually told me her name. He didn’t tell me what had actually happened between them he just lied about her to make me feel bad for him basically. Anyway I remember her name so I looked her up on Facebook and messaged her after I found out about his convictions . We got talking and she was with ex for 5 years and has known him for 9 years in total. She told me ex has a huge drug problem that his parents are aware of as well and they have paid off many of his drugs debts over the years as they have had drug gangs at their door threatening them. All the same things he did to her he did to me as wel which makes me think he is definitely still using drugs.
I asked her if she would speak to the reporter but she won’t as she is too scared of what ex might do. This means the reporter can’t put anything said in the messages in her report as she can’t verify who they have come from.
Then after this exes employer also called me as I was still down as emergency contact. To cut a long story short ex up and resigned suddenly and there are things that happened at work that have lead this employer to believe he may have been taking drugs while at work. I explained situation to him and he has offered to speak to the reporter and answer any questions she has for him and explain his concerns ex was taking drugs while at work.
Now my ex has found out about this and now has a very good friend of his dad’s who owns a small company speaking to this reporter. I know of this man and he is a very corrupt man with no morals and he has also falsified a work contract and payslips for my ex in the past as a favour to exes dad. Ex said this employer drug tests him regularly (which he doesn’t drug test at all as ex has told me before he doesn’t drug test any of his employees). So I assume this guy is going to say he drug tests ex regularly and they have all come back negative (ex doesn’t even really work for him has only done a few jobs for him here and there).
I don’t have proof of the things he has lied about for ex before or that he is a very good friend of exes dad. I’m worried the court might not order drug testing if the guy falsifies negative drug test results for ex which I could totally see him doing...
just don’t know what to do, worried sick he will be able to go away baby on his own and put him in danger and in case something was to happen
what can I do??