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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling overlooked and ignored at times. School gate specifically! Why?

30 replies

Bien22 · 16/07/2022 05:31

Just as the tithe says really. It’s a trivial thing but I am just wondering. This mainly seems to happen at my DC’s school events really but i have recently noticed that I am frequently overlooked when giving an opinion (I say things quietly) , if waiting for something, others seem to push in front of me and get served first. I think it isn’t really worth speaking up (in the school ice cream sale, as an example). I sometimes get ignored when waiting in a small group for DC to come out . I can be assertive in my personal, work and home life when needed(rarely though) but like to be polite too and am pretty reserved with people I don’t know why. Is this why? Just too many people at school gates? Or could it be my body language/ demeanour?

How do you hold your ground and stay polite? Being well-mannered is kind of more important to me than getting served first if you see what I mean.

Thinking about it, I probably come across as pretty meek, mild and physically small so some people take advantage of that - I think I may look a bit childlike in some ways. . When actually, I hold quite strong opinions and ideas. Similar thing when served in restaurants and cafes. The staff tend to defer to DH if I am with him or other people if in a group.

Bit of a ramble, does this make sense to anyone? Any advice On being more ‘seen and heard’ would be appreciated. 🙂

OP posts:
SunnieShine · 16/07/2022 11:17

Thinkingblonde - your husband sounds great. 😀

Thinkingblonde · 16/07/2022 12:56

SunnieShine · 16/07/2022 11:17

Thinkingblonde - your husband sounds great. 😀

He is, in the words of a Celine Dione song, he’s my voice when I couldn’t speak, he’s my eyes when I couldn’t see.
His duties have eased…Stutter still there but the eyes are fixed ( cataracts )

Thinkingblonde · 16/07/2022 13:03

My grammar is shit in that last post.

BeverlyHa · 15/07/2023 14:18

Herejustforthisone · 16/07/2022 09:01
I keep my head down for this reason. I don’t want to get drawn into a clique, I don’t want to join the PTA, I don’t want to help out with a bake sale (especially after reading on here about the quantity of those who buy and dump), I don’t want to make friends, I don’t want to get drawn into the weird competitive thing (wtf are they even competing about?), I don’t want to join some various non-important campaign, and I don’t want to be in the ‘inner circle’ of mums who go for coffee after drop off.

I drop off with my head down and hang back at collection.

lol, that is me, and i am very social, plainly said stunningly charming and charismatic, i know it and i have the people i want in my life. End of topic. Bitches, move on.

CleverHiker · 18/11/2025 21:57

Feel completely ignored at times and it feels horrible.Not sure how to deal with it I just keep myself to myself I remain polite and say hello.i don't want to come across as eager to please,or be there best friend.Just protecting my own mental health.

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