To go for the top job?

[Sweaty84]

Boss of company is leaving. Me and one other person going for it (internally). She has started putting me down in every big meeting. We used to get on. In our chats, she give me instructions and somehow I always feel like she is the one in charge. Boss says I should apply for the role as I have loads of ideas and I'm be great...but the other person is much more experienced and been there longer. They are being so mean to me in front of others and I'm struggling to hold my own without it becoming v bitchy in a really embarrassing way.

I do feel this job is a stretch for me but my boss says I can do it. I also have a very demanding home life with a baby and DS with poss autism. But opportunities don't come up often.

AIBU to go for it?

And the job ad won't go live for another few weeks. How do I respond to the put downs and boss like behaviour from my competitor? She keeps asking me what I'm doing that day or where I'm up to with something...when we are on the same level but I know she believes the top job is hers for the taking.

Act with decorum and integrity and the top brass will see her behaviour, am sure. And if they promote her over you, it’s their loss. You may even be penalised later on if you DON’T go for it. Show ambition, it can’t hurt your career.

Actually, am going through similar, stressing that I’ve overstretched re kids but I keep telling myself I can do this. You must do same!

Would you want her as a manager?

Penny Mordant, is that you???

Definitely go for it. Stay calm and professional and ignore the put downs.

If she is as bad as you say her behaviour will be getting noticed and she will already have a blotted copy book.
apply - good luck - let us know if you get it

Can you initiate an outward-facing staff awareness session of bullying? Something on how to promote a good work culture and tackling microaggresssions?

Might help her see what she is, make others see what she is and top brass will see you as promoting an inclusive culture which you can talk about at your interview.

All the fingers up to her is the icing on the cake. Use her cuntyness to make the workplace better and move yourself forward.

I think you should definitely go for the job but if you don't get it then I know I wouldn't want to work for her, so perhaps look around at the same time to see what else is available.

It's really important how you behave now because people will be watching you. They will be fully aware of what she's up to and will want to know what your reaction is.

Definitely try for it. You have been recommended and encouraged so it looks bad if you don't.

As for the other candidate keep it professional & act with integrity. Right now she is showing herself up & behaving like middle management which is always a bitchy place to be.

There are a few different issues here.

Firstly, will you be able to manage the role with your home commitments? You will need rock solid childcare with emergency back up. You cannot take on the role if you’re going to be frequently off work last minute because of sick children, being let down by carers etc.

Secondly, do you want to be in a job where you sometimes have to prioritise the job over your children? There’s no right or wrong in this - it’s a personal choice, but you need to be honest with yourself, even if you don’t say it out loud to anyone.

Thirdly, your competitive colleague. She’s the least of your worries - don’t focus on her. Dispassionate and unfailingly polite assertiveness will allow you to float above her game playing.

Yes, you should go for it if you want it. Not to do so after your boss encouraged you is tantamount to saying you don’t want to progress. If she thinks you’re ready for it, you almost certainly are.

Your.boss is presumably aware of your colleague. Stay polite and assertive and, if she gets the job, start looking for something else. Hopefully she will do likewise if you get the job. Tbh having been there much longer than you could just suggest she’s gone as far as she can go in the business.

I’m involved in a lot of senior hiring and can think of loads of occasions where we’ve gone for the less experienced candidate who has loads of ideas and is well liked over someone more experienced.

I know she believes the top job is hers for the taking

I don't think that's true. I think she feels like you are a really good candidate, which is why she is doing this. She thinks you stand a good chance, and is trying to sabotage your chances.

You really need to go for it. Honestly, your life will not be improved by having her as your boss, imo.