handling difficult client

[rockabye]

NC for this.

I work in a small charity team. We were the successful bidders to deliver a project to a large public sector organisation. I am the project lead. All good, so I thought. It was meant to be delivered over 3 months from April - June and I had cleared my diary to do so.

Its July and the project hasn't started yet. My named contact has left with no warning, no announcement and no handover. Her boss is now in charge but seems to have no clue what was agreed. I have been on annual leave for 2 weeks and my poor manager has been bombarded with emails in that time demanding changes to what we have agreed, status updates and wanting things done quickly because new contact is 'away' from September to - November.

But we have other projects in our diaries now and have lost some staff so our availability is less than it was. Furthermore, the changes that they want would take more time and more money and its not what we had agreed to do originally.

I also had Covid and was really ill. They asked my manager for my home number. They also want me to attend meetings in person that are just half an hour long, that could easily be done on Zoom, despite knowing I live at the opposite end of the country and they won't pay travel or accomodation either.

I want to tell them to fuck off and not do this project as they are being rude and making me feel under pressure. But we are a charity and we need the money and I don't think my manager will want to pull out of this one. It is stressing me out.

How do I handle this difficult client and discuss this with my manager? I return from leave on Monday (but made the mistake of looking at my inbox today)

Ok I had a similar job for an insurance company who provided insurance via banks, building societies etc branded in the bank name. At times they were ridiculous demanding so I feel your pain.
You need to be honest with your contact. Explain the project was meant to be well underway by now. But their "issues" have delayed things.
be firm tell them you cannot attend in person....if they escalate, make sure your boss knows they are waiting your organisations time and money.
ensure you are proactive, try to drive things forward, then delays don't fall in your door step
don't answer calls out of hours. Set boundaries by saying " sorry I didn't get back to you, but I was with m mum, child etc" don't be guilt tripped
in general manage your customer don't let them manage you

Isn't it your manager's job to deal with the client?

Most contracts Luke this would be based around a comprehensive rfq/tender. I'd start by checking it thoroughly to see what was agreed. After that maybe a meeting with open and realistic discussion is required.

Go back to the contract, there should be a formal change management process that needs to be followed for any amendments to Statement of Requirements/work (whatever it's called in the agreement).

You need to set up an implementation plan and meeting pronto and document all deadlines and the governance structure and get agreement on who the key contacts and backups will be for all decision making.

yeah I do need more support from my manager and yes I've looked at our bid which was accepted and what they want now is different. I think I will need to get more assertive and push my manager to help me more. I just hate conflict. it is my main weakness. I either avoid it completely or get too obviously irritated in my conversations. Neither is ideal!

Is it public or private sector? If it was a public tender and yours was accepted, and they are now trying to ‘materially change’ the scope, then by rights the tender process should be run again.

Agree with others - go back to contract. That should lay out T&C and travel/subsistence expenses for working on client site.

Is client management part of your remit? If so look into training on what is actually assertiveness, relationship management etc but is often called "negotiating skills", "managing difficult conversations etc" and also contract management if you are the local delivery lead. If your employer doesn't supply such training then see if they will fund it.

I just hate conflict. it is my main weakness. I either avoid it completely or get too obviously irritated in my conversations. Neither is ideal!

Try to think of it as negotiating and finding common ground rather than conflict. If you are working with external clients, you need to work on this. Maybe ask your manager for a coach or some other way to gain these skills. This really is an area you can train in for work, it isn’t simply a matter of temperament or personality.