Struggling to attend this funeral…

[NameChange3210]

An immediate family member recently passed away. I live over 150 miles away.

I don’t drive or have a car, I have a disabled child which there is only 1 or 2 people they can stay with for a short period of time and won’t travel let alone sit for a funeral. I also have an animal who is relatively old now and gets really stressed out when I’m not around and struggles to stay with other people now that she is getting on a bit.

All of these circumstances mean that it’s going to really really difficult/impossible for me to travel down to the funeral.

My family member doesn’t understand why this is so difficult for me - has even suggested bringing my child and pet with me which of course is inappropriate - and is making me feel incredibly guilty and almost forcing me to attend (emotional blackmail).

I can understand why they are upset because I am their only support system that would be there (it’s going to be a very small funeral with mainly family members that we don’t see very much and don’t particularly get along with after a massive family falling out a few years back).

I feel awful about it, but realistically what can I do?!

@NameChange3210
Your child never travels?

@LoneParent1 not 300 miles no. There is a big difference from 10 minutes up the road to school to this sort of travelling. Plus they wouldn’t be able to sit throughout the funeral anyway so even if they could do the travelling there would still be no point.

You have many valid reasons why you can't attend the funeral. I wouldn't worry about what others think, and please don't feel awful about it. I wouldn't dream of expecting someone to travel so far to a funeral, even without the complications you have.