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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I go to A&E?

173 replies

ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 13:29

I’m severely anaemic. I have a gastric condition which regularly causes internal bleeds which leads to anaemia and I normally have 3/4 blood transfusions a year to deal with this.

I’ve been feeling anaemic since April when I went to my GP as usual and my Hb was 80 which is borderline for a blood transfusion but anaemic enough for an iron infusion. As I’m under a gastro consultant at the hospital he has to contact him to sign it off before I can go to hospital to have my iron infusion/ blood transfusion. Except the gastro department has not been answering the phone or returning my Gp’s calls/ emails since April.

My GP is tearing his hair out as my hb is now 56, the lowest it’s ever been. I am sleeping downstairs as I cannot climb the stairs to bed. I am driving my dc’s 100 m to school as I cannot walk. I am sleeping nearly 20 hours a day, I’ve lost 9lbs as I can’t eat anything, I’ve constantly got a blinding headache and I’m sobbing nonstop. I don’t know what to do and why no one will help me.

My GP has even driven to the hospital to try and get someone in gastro to sign it off but no one will. There’s nowhere within an hour drive that does it privately even if I could find a way to get there as I can trust myself to drive that far without falling asleep.

Id have to take my kids with me to A&are but I can’t think what else I can do.

OP posts:
feistyoneyouare · 15/07/2022 17:44

WorkEventing · 15/07/2022 17:42

I think pp means she’s reporting op to mn as a troll, not her gp to the nhs.

Which is still ridiculous, just for a different reason.

43prego · 15/07/2022 17:49

PrivateHall · 15/07/2022 17:43

A non emergency transfusion won't be done on 'night shift' type hours, it is very much advised against due to the increased risk of errors. On my ward, we have to justify doing a transfusion 'out of hours'. I don't see any harm in going to A&E to try and start the ball rolling, but don't expect immediate treatment. I must admit I am very confused about how you are safely functioning to care for your children, especially school runs, when you cannot walk up your stairs. You clearly should NOT be driving at all. Please keep your children and other road users safe. Get a taxi to A&E, bring the DC if there really is no one to care for them, but expect to potentially have the hospital staff need to contact SS as clearly you won't be able to care for the DC whilst undergoing a transfusion. You will need several units, so this is going to take a long time, and they may wish to admit you overnight before commencing the transfusions tomorrow.

I really think you need to try and let a friend become more involved, what happens to your DC if you need an emergency admission? I am quite sure a 'friend' can be trained to administer medication, I assume school staff do so? I would be devastated if any friend or fellow school parent was in this position and didn't feel they could ask me for help.

Don't feel you need to do everything alone, it takes a village to raise DC, even more so when there's serious health issues in the mix.

Please OP listen to the advice.

Original poster
ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 17:57

@43prego I’m already at A&E, I’ve had OOH blood transfusions in the past at this hospital when my Hb has been higher than it currently is. I’m not doing this because I feel like a nice evening out, I’m doing it because I’m genuinely scared I’m not going to wake up in the morning and my dc would be on their own.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 17:58

I have got a friend who helps me whenever she can, as does my dm. Unfortunately they’re both away at the moment and I’ve suddenly started feeling a lot worse over the last few days. If they were here or if I had anyone else to ask, obviously I would.

OP posts:
PrivateHall · 15/07/2022 17:58

OP I don't see any suggestion that anyone thinks you are looking for a night out, I just see people genuinely concerned for you and your DC.

Original poster
ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 18:00

@PrivateHall im not safely looking after my children, I am doing the absolute bare minimum which is awful for both them and me. I’ve been doing everything I can to get this sorted since April, ffs. I haven’t just taken to my bed and decided to wilt away and hope my kids figure out what to do, I’ve been as proactive as possible but no one has been able to give me the medical help I desperately need.

OP posts:
PrivateHall · 15/07/2022 18:01

ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 17:58

I have got a friend who helps me whenever she can, as does my dm. Unfortunately they’re both away at the moment and I’ve suddenly started feeling a lot worse over the last few days. If they were here or if I had anyone else to ask, obviously I would.

OK that is really good to know, I have to say I was genuinely horrified with the idea of you having absolutely no one. Sleeping 20 hours a day, with DC to care for. Such a horrendous situation for you. But I didn't know its 'only' been for a few days.

PrivateHall · 15/07/2022 18:02

ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 18:00

@PrivateHall im not safely looking after my children, I am doing the absolute bare minimum which is awful for both them and me. I’ve been doing everything I can to get this sorted since April, ffs. I haven’t just taken to my bed and decided to wilt away and hope my kids figure out what to do, I’ve been as proactive as possible but no one has been able to give me the medical help I desperately need.

OK was genuinely trying to help but will bow out now after you swearing at me. Good luck, I genuinely hope this all works out and that you and your kids are ok and that the kids recover from this experience.

Original poster
ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 18:03

@PrivateHall the people saying “get someone to look after the kids”, “you won’t get help OOHs” etc. WTF do people think I’m taking my kids with me or going to A&E on a Friday night? If I had other options I would obviously use them or if I could go during the day I would have. I can’t. So people clearly think I’m going for the LOLs

OP posts:
Cinderella88 · 15/07/2022 18:03

Your GP should have admitted you to hospital for a blood transfusion right away, I have iron deficiency anemia and just had a blood transfusion last Tuesday as my haemoglobin was at 60

Original poster
ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 18:03

Sorry, I’m being rude. I’m just fed up of feeling so I’ll that I’d genuinely like to die just so I can fucking rest.

OP posts:
FabFitFifties · 15/07/2022 18:09

So glad you went OP, hope you feel better soon

43prego · 15/07/2022 18:13

You are in the right place to get help.

SommerTen · 15/07/2022 18:14

Glad you are in A&E as HB56 is dangerously low. I'm surprised your gp didn't suggest A&E before now. I've had patients collapse at HB70.
I hope that you soon get the emergency transfusions & care you need!
even if the children need to be cared for by others eg even foster care for a very short while, it's better than if they had found you on the floor at home.
It is hard being a single mum and being unwell, one of my friends is in a similar situation.

AllTheYoungGoodyTwoShoes · 15/07/2022 18:14

Have just read this, horrified you have an HB of 56, how can you barely stand up. Hope you get a transfusion ASAP.

Cotherstone · 15/07/2022 18:15

I’m so sorry OP, I hope you get seen soon and you are doing the right thing. I feel shit enough right now with a hb of 98, I can’t imagine how bad you are feeling at your level.

Once you’re feeling better, you should think about writing to your MP and the relevant care commission(?) to complain, because this is shocking.

MolliciousIntent · 15/07/2022 18:16

OP you weren't rude, you're exhausted and terrified and sick. I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I'm sorry if the comments about childcare made it seem like posters (myself included) were sticking the knife in. I think most people were just wanting to set your expectations. I really hope you feel better soon.

SQLserved · 15/07/2022 18:18

@ShrillSiren22

easier said than done, but ignore the sanctimonious nay sayers. These threads are always full of them. Akin to trolls, they enjoy whipping up a frenzy about who is and isn’t deserving of health care.

An A&E nurse above has already replied to say your setup would be fine in their A&E.

Do tell the medical staff that you fear you won’t wake up in the morning. It’s not unusual for people to be aware of their own limits so they will take this seriously.

You did the right thing, I hope you feel better soon Flowers

WWYD22 · 15/07/2022 18:20

Please go and get seen

Thereisnolight · 15/07/2022 18:21

Going forward, try to get a new GP!

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 15/07/2022 18:21

OP
In the nicest possible way, you need to sort out emergence child care for your DCs in case this happens again. And a back up. And a back up to the back up.
You've been in this situation once, don't let it happen again. What if you were iller and had to stay in?
Where is the DCs DF?

Hope you get the treatment you need and make a speedy recovery Flowers

ItWillBeDone · 15/07/2022 18:21

Hope you get seen soon OP, and that you get the treatment you need. Good luck.

Somethingneedstochange · 15/07/2022 18:22

The heat isn't helping I've had to ring an ambulance for my daughter. So stuck in A&E for the next few hours.

PrivateHall · 15/07/2022 18:25

ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 18:03

Sorry, I’m being rude. I’m just fed up of feeling so I’ll that I’d genuinely like to die just so I can fucking rest.

Ahh fair enough Flowers I do understand your frustration, your GP has been wonderful trying to advocate for you but clearly the gastro team are a frigging disgrace!

Original poster
ShrillSiren22 · 15/07/2022 18:26

Thanks for being kind.

@MrsOwainGlyndŵr this wouldn’t normally be an issue as I’d normally have either my dm or my best friend who can take them. Neither of them work and are always really happy to take them. Unfortunately at the moment they’re both away, I think this is the only time they’ve both been away at the same time that I can remember. Their dad does see them but works abroad Mon-Fri, only sees them for a couple of hours a month and won’t have ds2 for more than 3 hours as it would involve giving him his medication/ sorting out meals for him which he’s decided he simply can’t do.

OP posts: