Am I a ghost?

[Crocsandshocks]

For about the last 5 years people have ignored me, looked right through me, it included me in their plans. It's like I don't actually exist. Thank god for my children and pets who awknowldge my existence otherwise I would think I was a ghost. People are generally uninterested in what I have to say and finish the conversation as soon as possible. I'm 45. I have grey hair. Could this be invisible older woman syndrome?

*not

Yep. I think I was about 45 when I first experienced this - met the new neighbours and their adult son just looked through me. But the compensation is that most women feel the same. We all understand each other and can be friendly without it being weird, IYKWIM. I see another grey-haired 'invisible' in the street, smile and say hello, she smiles back. Everyone ignores us both. It's nice!

@AssignedSlytherinAtBirth that's a good way to look at it. Comrades together. There have to be some silver linings!

Yes it is, and personally I love the invisibility. I no longer worry what men think about me, as I assume they aren't paying attention anyway - same with younger females. I love that no one turns around when I walk into a pub etc - it's very liberating.

One felt like this since I became a mother. I'm 31, DS is 3. He occasionally gets a coo, I get ignored/blanked/forgotten about by everyone including family and 'friends'.

BE visible! Dye your hair rose gold or lilac, depending on your skin tone. Not to try and look young-and-visible, there's nothing wrong with being 45, but to send the message, still happy to be seen thank you! not fading in to the corner yet thanks!

I went to Italy with my (female) cousin, both in our 60s, and it was lovely to have waiters flirt with us, and make us feel special, as they do with everyone, however ancient. But mostly, yes, you get used to blending in to the wallpaper, and relishing it, actually.

No, I'm 46 and I don't feel invisible at all. I find people listen to me and take seriously what I say, which was a problem when I was younger (being taken seriously). I felt ignored and invisible and what I thought didn't matter lot more in my teens and 20s.

I do dye my hair occasionally, pink or violet. I never try to recreate my natural dark brown as it always looks fake. I've been pale pink this week. And I dress up too.

Yep. 5ft 8, wearing a bright pink t shirt at the weekend, a man walked straight into me/my friend.

BE visible! Dye your hair rose gold or lilac, depending on your skin tone. Not to try and look young-and-visible, there's nothing wrong with being 45, but to send the message, still happy to be seen thank you! not fading in to the corner yet thanks!

Funnily enough I have just bought some Davines lilac conditioner.

I think that woman off Netflix how to build a sex room is my new role model. She's certainly not blending into the background. It does get lonely sometimes!

Oh yeh, go for it! And it's not to send a message to men. It's just to ''send a message'' that you still enjoy being you. I think that draws in other people around you. They see you because YOU SEE YOU.

I changed from a work place with a very young demographic where I was kindly included but as an older person.. Now I work with a demographic where they are closer to my age. I feel they perceive me to be young and energetic and fashionable when I'm pretty sure I'm the same age as they are. I've just been used to an environment where people still enjoyed fashion and make up and goddammit so do I. I don't think anybody should have to spend an hour on their face before they go out, so far from it! Especially in that younger way of hair extensions, nails, eyelashes, blimey who has time for that. But a hair cut / colour you love that works for you, big sparkly earrings, clothes in colours that suit you. Enjoy it all and people know you like being a woman despite not being a 30 year old woman.

I may well be invisible to young men (like the poster who realised she was invisible to her new neighbours' son!) but very young men are just one section of society and community.

I did used to work with younger men and I think the mature ones will chat to you like they'd chat to any person of either sex or age. It's the misogynist ones and the ageist, sexist ones, well, there were a couple in my old work place and I did sense that I offended them with any expectation that I could or should be included in the work place chat or workplace socialising. They were the exception not the rule though.

Depends what you are saying surely, if someone is having an interesting conversation they don't tend to be ignored.

Do you push yourself out there, or are you introverted to the point where you have turned yourself into a ghost?

Wait until your 65 you’ll be virtually see through.🙄

Do you push yourself out there, or are you introverted to the point where you have turned yourself into a ghost?

Im not the biggest extrovert there ever was, but equally I do make loads of effort to chat to people without the same input back. It's exhausting and not sustainable.

You are a ghost and you should buy a white sheet to stick over your head immediately so you can stop confusing people.

I'm 45 and have never experienced this "invisible" feeling.