Hi wonderful different perspectives in my phone! I'm after some advice about an issue at work. I'm a line manager of a team of 13 and currently managing an extremely toxic employee. They are in the process of being dismissed but they continue to be challenging and take a disproportionate amount of my working day to support them as they're incapable.
I've some really supportive colleagues but my manager is so socially awkward and just doesn't seem to grasp a thing about mental health or the impact of prolonged exposure to stress.
I've tried to have offloading conversations with them about the situation with the employee, normal rant to get things off your chest and just wanting someone to hear you and empathise.
Their response to my frustrations was to put it to one side and think about something else. Not at all helpful in my eyes.
Then we attended a meeting with external sevice providers after I put a suggestion forward about an improved way of working. Paperwork was sent off but I was never provided with a copy of the final version sent to the supplier. I was then forwarded a meeting invite, which literally contained a date and time, no agenda, no expectations, just the meeting time slot.
I joined the meeting thinking my manager would be taking the lead as a more senior representative and that they had done all the paperwork etc in the run up to it.
When the meeting started the supplier asked for a run through of what we wanted, my manager quickly batted to me and asked me to give the overview. I considered whether to say sorry I wasn't provided with the final copy, but opted to wing in for the sake of saving us both from looking complete idiots.
After the meeting I politey let my manager know how uncomfortable I had felt, that i wasn't given any indication I was required to take the lead and that I hadn't been kept in the loop with the paperwork side.
Thet replied and said I'm sorry, but can I point out this was your idea, I thought it was best coming from you.
I responded and said I understood that stance but didn't change how I had felt as that approach was not communicated to me ahead of the meeting and that I still didn't have a copy of the relevant docs.
They have responded with another non- apology and said I'm sorry, but I don't feel what you're saying is a fair reflection of what happened.
Can anyone advise if I'm just being way too sensitive or whether this really s the shoddy leadership I see it to be? I honestly can't see where the support or even acknowledgement is and wouldn't dream of talking to my team members this way.
I should also add I'm approx. 6 weeks pregnant and the stress of work full stop is driving me to breaking point. I just feel like this is a true work "shit sandwich" and I'm the filling.