AIBU regarding phone etiquette?

[Pluvia]

I have a work phone which I answer whenever it rings but if I get a call on my mobile from a number/ person I don't know and I'm not expecting anything (deliveries or whatever) I work on the basis that if it's important they'll leave a message and identify themselves. I don't have children, I don't have elderly parents. 99% of unknown numbers turn out to be people trying to sell me stuff or scam me.

I've just had someone I vaguely know berating me for not answering their call. I know I'm a bit old school. I don't live on my phone (and don't want to) and I don't get involved in the dozens of WA discussions that people add me to. People get angry with me about that, too. Apparently I'm supposed to trawl carefully through the 200+ messages/ memes and other rubbish that appear on my phone most days in case there's something important among all the chat. I don't want to be a person who spends their leisure time on the phone. AIBU?

Yanbu but you need to sort out you spam filters. No way you should be getting that many calls and messages on your phone every day.

I only answer calls on my.mobile from numbers I recognise. I'm sick of all the spam calls I get. I've got TrueCaller installed on my phone. It's fab for displaying who's calling if it's a number you don't have in your contacts

I don't answer numbers I don't recognise anymore since scammers or spam numbers have started using normal mobile numbers

You don't have to answer your phone if you don't want to. Nor do you have to listen to another person when they're having a go. Just remember that next time someone starts berating you. Put your fingers in your ears and sing, if it helps.

Someone you vaguely know berating you for anything is unreasonable. Expecting someone you vaguely know to be available to answer your calls at your convenience is also, unreasonable. It's your phone and you can answer it or not whenever the fancy takes you!

Who is sending you so many messages and memes? Block them or leave those WA groups. That sounds bonkers.

I would be annoyed by a complete lack of response for meet up plans etc on WA unless the person was elderly. Equally, if you really do get 200 messages a day on these groups then I would politely request that a second WA group is made with the same people for important information.

I never answer my phone to unknown numbers. If it was a genuine emergency they would leave a message. Funnily they never have...

I've been getting loads of calls from mobiles this week, assume it's some kind of bot generation thing.

YANBU. I rarely answer numbers I don't recognise if I'm not expecting a call. It's so easy for organisations to sell or pass your number on these days and, as you say, calls can quite often be spam. If the caller needs you urgently they can leave a message for you to call them back.

I never answer my phone unless it's someone I know or I'm actually waiting for a call about something. If it's important they can leave a message, and I will always phone back if it's necessary.

I'm not in loads of WhatsApp groups and the people I'm in groups with don't send generic/non-interesting stuff, fortunately, so I do read my messages. I don't always reply straight away though.

200+? How many groups are you in?

I think by accepting an invitation to a WA group you are confirming that you are happy to be contacted via it and there is a reasonable expectation you will respond to anything there you need to. If you don't want to read the messages leave the group and request a different form of contact.

OP, you are not unique. No one on Mumsnet answers their phone.

Do you also refuse to answer the door?

I dont answer my phone to an unfamiliar number unless I'm expecting a call. If they aren't sales then they will leave a message. It's always worked fine for me!

I find that WA discussions get out of hand. It's as if everything degenerates into chat and memes. Someone sets up a discussion to organise something specific, and because I'm involved in the organising I'm included in the discussion list. In theory it should just be sorting out what will happen when and who'll do what. It could all be quite businesslike, but it almost inevitably degenerates into general chat and photos and memes and jokes, and keeps going till midnight. I've been a bit head teacherish on occasion and asked if we could leave the chat out and just focus on the task in hand, but that hasn't gone down well. I've also left several groups once the decisions have been made and have then been accused of flouncing or being no fun. I do mute and leave and block as necessary, but sometimes I just have to stay on them to pick up the occasional bit of vital information.

I'm quite an active, social person and also volunteer, so I'm currently on about 20 on-going WA discussions with more than five people on them. I give myself half an hour to go through my phone and personal emails each evening and often have to scroll through hundreds (and I mean hundreds) of messages, most of which are just chat.

There are a couple of groups where we seem to be on the same wavelength: all busy, all focussed on getting things done. We're positive, show an interest in each other but we don't expect other people to have hours to spare to read through out rambling stream of consciousness stuff. I enjoy meeting people in real life where we can have proper conversations but I really don't enjoy the bitty, disjointed, all-talking-over-each-other chat on WA.

Sorry: look at me rambling on!

Hell no, I'm not one of those posters! I answer the door and I also welcome people calling in without making an appointment first. Call round at supper time and if you want I'll cook for you too.

I think answering the phone to numbers you don't recognise is a bit odd - we certainly didn't have that option in the old landline days. On the other hand, I feel absolutely NO need to stay on the line with random sales people and regularly politely but firmly say, "thank you, but I'm not interested" and put the phone down. I figure if they're cold calling me, they can't expect me to stay on the line out of politeness.

The WhatsApp thing I totally understand. I'm pleased to say that overall, in most of the groups I'm on, that behaviour has stopped now. It happened a LOT when WhatsApp groups first became a regular thing but like so many things around mobile phones, once people had them for a while they seemed to realise there's appropriate/inappropriate behaviour and adapt accordingly (mostly). I have no idea how you manage things if that is NOT the case for you but you do have my sympathies. Memes in particular are my absolute worst.

Sorry, i meant NOT answering the phone to numbers you don't recognise.

I don’t often answer calls from numbers I don’t know because from experience they’re scams. If it’s a local number then I do as I figure it’s the doctors etc but if it’s important someone will leave a message

If it's okay to refuse to answer the phone for a number you don't recognise, what's wrong with not answering your door to someone you don't know or wish to speak to?

Sorry, it's amusing how a subset of MN users seem to be personally offended by that. Why does anyone else care? People engage in all sorts of behaviour that I can't understand and don't respect, but at least this one doesn't make much of a difference to anyone but the person making the decision not to open the door to unknown visitors.

OP be honest... how many meals can you get out of one chicken?

If I'm in a position to answer a call I answer it. If it's a scammer or sales person
I either say no thank you, ask them to remove my number from their mailing list and ask them to confirm it's done, OR I play them along until they hang up on me. Either way, I then block the number after the call has ended!

I love a WhatsApp group and people who share memes/jokes etc, but what you Dan do is ask others in the group to star messages that are relevant/important to what's needed - you then click into group header and select starred messages, then you can view them all from there. Saves you reading hundreds of irrelevant messages and hopefully won't offend your friends. You don't even have to say it's because you don't want to read it all - say it's so any of you can refer back to it easily!

We're pescatarians so I can't speak to the Mumsnet skill with a chicken, but I can feed four with a couple of salmon fillets if that helps?

The unexpected knock on the front door happens more rarely than the calls from unknown numbers. I can go a week and more without a stranger knocking but rarely a day without a call from an unknown number. And that person at the front door could be someone delivering flowers or a forgotten mail order purchase or on a good day a Rick Stein dinner in a box.