DD's godmother has gone radio silent

[haveyourcakeandeatit]

DD is 14m and since her birthday her godmother which is a close friend of mine has completely gone off the radar.

I've tried countless times to organise a catch up it either gets cancelled or she won't commit to any date. We used to be so much closer and met a-lot more often and she loves seeing her god daughter.
Now I know the reality of god parents is that some hardly see the children but I'm trying to keep the contact going for our friendship too.
Of course she's busy and works, but she works PT has no children. I know she has a life and I don't have ridiculous expectations of her taking DD out for the day...just a catch up. It's weird almost as if the novelty has worn off.

I don't know. Anyone else experienced this?

I could have been your friend a couple of years ago. I was severely depressed (I did not realise it at the tine) and even the thought of picking up a phone to my friend was overwhelming.

Yabu

You say you don't have rediculous expectations but your dds godmother has to see her every week/month

You dont know what she is going through. She might work pt and have no kids THAT DOESN'T MEAN she ain't got shit to worry about or stress about. Or whatever other hardship.

So stop it. You are WAY to demanding and need more friends

Give her some space. Godparents are not a necessary figure in a child's life unless you are deeply religious, so I would lower your expectations rather then risk passing them on to your child.

If she saw your daughter on her birthday and your daughter is now 14 months, she's only gone eight or nine weeks without seeing her. In the big scheme of things, that's really no time at all.

Sometimes people just have things going on in their lives that they're keeping quiet about. Sometimes people aren't feeling at their most sociable. Sometimes people might just feel that constant contact is a bit too much for them.

When you've got together on previous occasions, who has instigated it? Her? Both of you? Just you?

If it's mainly been you, i'm wondering whether she's been a bit taken aback by the amount of contact you're expecting her to have with your DD. Now that it's no longer something new and exciting, perhaps she's expecting it to be a bit less frequent? That doesn't mean she doesn't love your daughter or that she doesn't value your friendship - it may just be not what she expected. Perhaps she had different thoughts from the start on what her role was as godmother.

So basically she saw her two months ago or thereabouts? Totally normal in my experience to go a few months without seeing each other even between close friends, people are busy.

It's only been a few weeks?! Does she have kids of her own? If not maybe she wants them and can't or doesn't want them and doesn't find taking a 14 months old out very stimulating?

“but I'm trying to keep the contact going for our friendship too.”

That is such a weird thing to say! Surely your friendship was/is the primary thing here, and the “godmother” role secondary.

What do you mean by the novelty wearing off? What novelty?! Godparents don’t DO anything in the first 14 months of their godchild’s life - she’s hardly been popping round every week to guide her in Christ’s teachings 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, don’t you see her every week at church anyway? 🤣

yes. catch up at church!! good idea..

Why do you keep referring to your friend as 'DD's godmother'? This suggests you're expecting something from her more in that department rather than just seeing her as a friend who has agreed to a nominal role. Is this because you're both devoutly religious?

If not, then in all honesty, not sure about your friend but as much as I love my friends and their children are delightful, I don't want to spend substantial amounts of my free time with small kids as a single person. sounds like this is what you're inviting her to do. Could you suggest something mainly just the two of you, maybe a takeaway after DD is in bed if you can't get childcare? She can say goodnight, maybe read her a story if she wants, then you two catch up?

Might be that she is depressed and can't face the world but seeing her 2 months ago is not long. I think your expectations of a godparents might be a bit off here.

My Auntie once wistfully said "I'd love to be a God Mother"
Me (standing next to her) "You are...You're mine"
😂🤷‍♀️
Unless she's supposed to be taking your DD to scripture lessons at sunday school I'd cut her some slack.

@Marvellousmadness what a stupid reply...go away

Thanks for the comments and I will take some on board!