To want a best friend?

[CreamyCrisp]

I'm early 50s & widowed. My children don't live close by. I have a lot of friends - male & female - but no best friend since my DH died.
I'd love to meet someone in the same boat who could come round, watch TV, do things at the weekend... Just that comfortable other.

I don't suppose I'm the only one but how do I find them?

Hmm, it sounds as if you’re looking for a (possibly platonic) husband replacement, if you didn’t feel the need for it when you had your DH, and if you want someone to default to, rely on etc…

I mean, I can see why, but I think what you’re talking about — someone who is your default companion, someone always available with no prior constraints on their time, with whom you don’t need to make an effort, with whom you’re very ‘comfortable’ doing nothing — is generally the result of a long period of increasing familiarity. You can’t suddenly make a best friend in adulthood (it’s probably perfectly possible if you’re about six!) any more than you could skip past the early ‘getting to know you’ stages of a relationship and leapfrog straight to the ‘familiar as an old slipper’ bit.

I would have said your best bet is to deepen your relationship with an existing friend?

May be learn some art in this summer so that you might come across someone you like ???

I’m on the younger side in my mid fifties…but really you have to be a bit flexible . There are people starting out again in life in 60s and 70s who have huge amount to offer in friendships

Does the town/city you live in have a Facebook page that you could maybe join and put a post out on? Maybe ask there if there are any groups for older women/widows seeking friends? I don’t know if it’s up your street but maybe you could look into organisations that run walking tours and day trips, and you could meet someone in a similar situation there? I’m sure you’ve probably tried already, but are you friends with any of your neighbours?

Perhaps I’m not quite reading this right but it sounds like you have lots of friends outside the home but it’s companionship at home you are after? Have you considered a lodger or house share? Dare I suggest a dog (or cat) the best kind of companion and often unconditional love (in the dogs at least!). My dog loves a cuddle on the sofa in the evening and greets us like a long lost friend even if we pop out for 10 minutes.

Re: U3A surely that depends on what activity you join op? Maybe try some different ones to your friend?

Yes - I've got dogs, & totally agree.

Not a single friend here... My dh hasn't even felt like a friend since pre Covid tbh.

I also have ddogs and they do a good job of masking the gap..
I had dc in my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's so don't really fit in anywhere!

@Cameronnorrieisabitofalright 💌