Music is not the same as kids shouting

[Hideousneighbours2022]

Just had a horrible run in with neighbours. They are generally hideously antisocial. Over the 3 weeks surrounding Easter they had music blasting every other night. I was just in the process of diaries and it calmed down so I stopped in interest of relations. Still approx once a week sometimes twice but manageable and not worth what I suspect is about to become a living hell.

They argue outdoors. The male is an alcoholic. Smoke weed like the clappers and have such ridiculously inconsiderate parking I find it baffling how they even manage it. Just lots of inconsiderate rude behaviour.

Anyway I have two disabled DC, aged 5 and 7. They aren't too noisy as a general rule of thumb. Oldest has occasional scream sessions of 5 minutes-ish usually indoors. Getting out to school in the AM is challenging and probably our noisiest time. The other downfall is the garden so I rarely have them out in the garden unless we are sat eating or playing board games and pull them in very quickly if too loud as it's close buildings and I like my other neighbours. Never before 10am either.

This week has been boiling and they've been hot sticky messes coming out of school, oldest DD has real sensory issues around being hot and full scale meltdowns were brewing both days so I gave the kids 30 minutes in the paddling pool. Loud and screechy despite lots of reminding but strictly limited to about 25-30 minutes. Today they were out 15.35 until 16.00 so literally 25 minutes and far better than the prolonged meltdown that was brewing.

Neighbours started blasting music at 8pm. So loud it woke both DC who had been asleep since 7pm. DC still being kept wide awake at 9.15pm so went and asked to turn it down as its a school night and they've got both kids awake. The male came and knocked on my door to then have a go about the noise my DC make and was really quite nasty about it and how dare I ask to turn the music down. I get the distinct impression it's retaliatory for them being loud in the garden.

They haven't. I can't have any of my windows open and it's boiling. Both DC are still firmly awake. I'm so upset.

AIBU to think kids being noisy for short periods in the day is not the same as blasting music at 9pm+ on a school night?

You poor things. No of course it's not the same. Do you, or they, rent?

It depends.
Some people would much rather hear loud music - of any type - than kids screeching.

Your neighbours sound awful OP

It depends

It really doesn't. The council environment dept don't consider child sounds as a nuisance.

@Bonheurdupasse but not if the music is keeping people awake whereas the kids screeching was at 4pm.

I'd fully understand if they put music on whilst they were being noisy but it's 4 hours later and he fully justified it and got nasty because mine were noisy less than 30 minutes at 3.30pm.

I've just popped out in the garden to grab the washing and the neighbours the other side of me have shut all their windows so I'm assuming it's disturbed them too.

We are both HA but the HA have cautioned me that going formal does tend to make things worse. Having seen what I have from them, I don't want to end up targeted.

Music is far more intrusive than kids playing. You could call environmental health on the neighbours if they continue with their antisocial behaviour.

I misread ‘the clappers’ as ‘the Clangers’ at first and now I’m giggling imagining the Clangers on a drug binge

misses the point

It doesn't matter what people would rather hear, one is legally a nuisance and the other is not - you won't get a noise abatement order for 25 minutes' of children's noise.

Your HA have advised you badly. What do you mean you stopped doing a diary? Just start again.

I would advise never knocking on his door, why would you do that given what you know? I feel really sorry for you but either pursue it properly or not at all.

Their music system has a volume switch; children do not!
HA are being ridiculous. They need to offer neighbour mediation as a first option. I wouldn't approach the neighbour directly again, since it seems he has gone into antagonism mode.
Technically, household noise (not children) is only really considered a nuisance between 11pm and 7am. If the neighbour is deliberately harassing you, that's a different issue, though hard to prove.
I have had horrible neighbours in the past and found it really hard to try not to let my annoyance affect my children. Kids sometimes don't perceive loud music as a worry in itself, rather it is your reaction that upsets them. Not easy, I know. The process of keeping a noise diary will focus you on the annoyance too.
I think noise nuisance is unappreciated as a massive social and health issue. We need clear expectations that loud music, noisy vehicles and barking dogs won't be allowed to spoil people's homes.

I would take any of over the power drilling I had this morning at 7.30am from my shitty neighbours. So annoying.

Sorry OP, but I'd take music over screeching kids any day

I have a SEN child and know how hard it is to keep them quiet. The OP did say she tells them to calm down its not as If she is inconsiderate or allowing them to be feral. The neighbours are deliberately playing loud music and in control of the noise more than the OP can be.
People who can't take abit of noise from children getting excited or playing for half n hour should move to a detached house where they don't have to hear any general neighbourly noise.

Zombie

The housing system is working in this case by putting all the noisy and anti-social people together, so they can torment each other with their noisy, chaotic lives. Elsewhere, people go about their lives at a reasonable volume

Legally no it’s not the same but you may find that some people would prefer loud music to 5ish minute scream sessions and 30 minute screeching periods. I have some sympathy with that view.